When People Say Goodbye

stunt of the day

what is 2 times 5 cube ... which 2 x 5 x 5 x 5 ...

teacher wrote on the board: 250

me: where got !!!! 5 cube is 25 what ... then times 2 equals to 50 =.=

whole class: HAHAHAHAHA !!!

teacher: you still dare to say so loud ar !!!!

in addition ... today i kept running into the wrong classroom ... never fail to see the timetable wrongly ... i think i ran around the school frantically searching for the right class for about 376438969856km ...

xiaolynn sucks !!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
6/29/2006 09:18:00 PM

the past three days was TIRING ...

27o6

today is er jie and er jie fu's one year anniversary ... but evil er jie fu left er jie alone with me ... so bad ... haha ... so we went to hougang mall to look for her handphone case but no have so we settled for a pouch instead ... there were no new stocks as one of it was kind of stretched so i let er jie buy the one in good condition first cause she needs it more ... so kind right =) * claps after that er jie met him then i went home and snored =x

28o6

met baby at my house downstairs ... so we did homework together ... end up only did 6 questions before i was sallowed by the temptation of an initial d game =x didn't do much then baby sent me home ... and i snored again =.= was so tired these few days ...

2906

met baby at my house downstairs again haha .... went to punggol cc and study abit ... thenwent to hougang mall ... had a match with some sore losers who went in the finishing line though i won him but was waiting for him ... so our car winning percentage was no more 100% ... so sad ... i was darn angry almost beat him up can ... they still laughed wth ... this is not some act of gentleman can ... nvm ... i still can defeat them whenever and wherever i want ... then went to eat dinner and went home ... now talking on the phone with baby ... off to maple =)

can't write much cause internet connection goes on and off ...
if i meet baby tml, i'll update .. promise =)

xiaolynn's a lil pissed off by bastards

' SHATTERED <3>
6/29/2006 09:10:00 PM

didn't blog for the past few days cause my internet was kind of unstable ...lemme think ... can't really remember what was going on the past few days ...

24o6
it was kind of a disappointing day ... i lost another match ... BOO~~~ i not happy about this defeat as i'm prejudiced against my opponent =xxxx lols ... nvm ... nothing really interesting except that my hive broke his record again !!!! YAYNESS ... singapore top =) congrats ... after that about 4-5 plus benny they all came down from sentosa ... gave him 5 bubble gum and chewing gums as promised ... it was supposed to be 25, but he lost the bet ... HAHA ... orbi good .. then after went jurong ... this time my hivey accompanied me there ... thanks =) but no next time ar ...

25o6
today a lil boring ... cause had to do compo =( but got my hive pei me then it's still ok lor =) went to tune our baby rx-8 ... haha ... watching her grow up, so happy =p after that we met my mum and ate KFC ... but hivey didn't eat =( cause he have wedding dinner later on ... then went to buy my school shoes and then home sweet home ... around six plus, i came out to meet my er jie ... went to punggol cc to rush homework ... but we kept being distracted by the television ... so ended up finishing very little only ...
tomorrow school reopens, and i haven't even got half the assignments done ... omg ... *bish*

26o6
1st day of school =( woke up at 5 am ... prepared for school ... realised that i have bad hair day =( sob sob ... hive hive called me when i was on my way to school ... chatted a lil then i reach school and continued that heavy work load ... alot of admin work was being done ... good news cause then there'll be lesser lessons =) did a compre and had a mini geog lecture ... then it was maths !!!! but still quite slack la ... sumayah was very very late for lessons today ... but she still let us off very early cause had nothing to do and she has a very bad sore throat ... poor thing right ... she told us f&n coursework is due next week ... my mind went blank ... cause i just remembered about coursework ... whole holiday i don't know where that stack of paper has been misplaced ... anyway, i only did 6 pages when we are supposed to have like 30 pages ??? die la ... considering whether to absent for o levels anot ... after i waited for er jie quite long ... used dolly's phone to send songs ... kept failing =( after everybody's lesson over, we went KFC to slack ... we sat under the plasma tv and everybody was like watching soccer ... so it's like everybody's staring at us ... scary !!!!! hive came to meet me after school, slack slack abit then went back around 8 plus ... now i furiously typing and updating before connection's gone again ...

off to do coursework =) will try to blog soon ...

xiaolynn is stressed out ??? or freaked out ???

' SHATTERED <3>
6/26/2006 09:27:00 PM

HI !!!! i'm back from malaysia =) quite fun, but till i realise i'm one inch fatter now =( thanks to my mum ... the breakfast provided is buffet style, so my mum forced so much food down my throat ...

we went to take the monorail at KL, got ourselves lost many many times... got followed by two baddies ... shop loads and loads ... but one thing, the food there definitely sucks !!!! =x drop my appetite .. the 1st hotel we stayed in was Renaissance, at meleka ... the receptionist was very very nice so my mum decided to write an appraisal letter for her haha ... but at berjaya times square, it sucked .. though it's 5 star, the pipe was leaking, and the facilities supposed to be provided wasn't there .. when we requested for it, still have to face some attituders =( booooo ... when on the way back to singapore... the bus was freaking late ... it was raining but the toopig uncle don't wanna drive the bus in ... so had to carry all the heavy luggages in the rain ... BOOO again .. since he was late ... he sped very fast ... so we had a break for dinner .. it's normally half an hour to 40 mins for us to eat right??? we spent about 20mins eating ... but others went up early ...so we were like the last ... then the uncle scolded us, say that the whole bus waited for us for 1hr .. wth !!!! he himself late then blame people ... when we really waited for him for an hour we also never complained can ... ##$%$%^%$$##@ nvm ... decided to lodge a complaint =x not my idea ... but if it was me, i also will complain .. haha ...

now i'm at nyp early in the morning .. to pei sq study and do project ... at the same time, trying to clear off my holiday assignments ... so tired .. i think that's all bahx ... nothing to really blog le ... not feeling very happy now ... in fact, quite sad ... nvm ... take care guys ...

xiaolynn stares into the air

' SHATTERED <3>
6/23/2006 02:42:00 PM

today i had my match over and done with ... won 5-0 =) she was kinda late ... i actually got quite angry cause i thought she going to fly me aeroplane haha .. so slacked around the whole day ... played alot of initial d ... ate alot !!!! i guess i have an additional of 5 inches now =(

he was sad today ... cause i'm leaving for msia tmr and i need to go home early ... so he accompanied me to hougang then went back so as to spend more time with me =) so sweet of him =) muack ..

don't know why ... i ain't feeling well these few days ... perhaps i lack sleep for too many nights .. nvm ... shan't talk about unhappy things .. put them behind and live your life =)

but overall, today i'm still quite happy cause he pei me the whole day ... thankies =)

nothing much to blog already ... off to call him =)

xiaolynn's smiling again =)

' SHATTERED <3>
6/18/2006 08:33:00 PM

today was a MIRACLE !!!! haha ... i'm a lil bit outta my mind now =x

had many many matches ... so there were many many teams gathered there ... around 50-60people ... so the computer system decided to play a prank on the racers by disabling itself from topping up credits ... so people there had to make their way to chinatown to top up and come back again ... how troublesome ... today was my 1st official participation in initial d but the results wasn't that beautiful ... i faced a very very strong opponent, record holder =.= so as expected, lalaland lost !!! =(

cause of some hot topic in forum, people tried to make him propose to me ... but fortunately we escaped =) so good things came along x)))

this whole day i was very very tired ... went to uncle house just now, then came back home around midnight ... so tired can !!!! today i kept feeling hungry ... so me this pig decided to go cook noodles to eat ... 2 meals a day =( BOO~~~~ phat phat lil girl =(

just feeling darn happy now .. x))) the jolynn last time no longer exists ... i'll be stronger and try to face hardships in rltsp ... not the weakling i used to be ... it caused me to lose precious people and their confidence in me ... so from today onwards, i'll change, and prove that i'm able to do something for the one i love =)

xiaolynn is on the rise ~~~~ =)
17o6 9.23pm

' SHATTERED <3>
6/18/2006 12:57:00 AM

When I ran,
You never stopped me.
When you left,
I stood in the cold breeze there.
The freezing wind got me chilled,
And you weren’t there.
Pricks and knives stabbed deep in my heart,
Ecstasy muffled my mind.
I’m waiting so bitterly,
For you to come back and love me.
I love you,
Yes I really do.
I assured my love for you,
Have you?

If you said you want me, I’ll love you with all my heart. I’ll go through all difficulties we may face together with you. But when I walked away, you still never said you loved me. You told me you were afraid of hurting me again. But you haven’t not heard what I wanna say. You had no confidence in me. Because of you, I wanted to be strong, I wanted to pick up my courage and brave through the heavy storms, but you pushed me away. You said you still loved me, you said you’ll chase me if I ran away, but it was just a lie. I faced my love with all my heart, but you never dared to love. I made up my mind, but you are still stuck in the middle. Baby.. do you know how much I love you??? Do you know how deeply I’m hurt by you ??? if you loved me, why don’t you say u do ?? why did you leave me there to die ??? I want you to come back, I really do. But I guess you want all this to end.

You’ve probably marked the end of everything on the 16th of june 2006, 6.13pm at punggol end, the last kisses and hugs. You left our memories hanging there and you probably didn’t bring your love back too. I wonder all that’s lingering in your heart now, is there a part of it that has me?? I miss you my dear.. I really miss you so much..

Perhaps I haven’t learnt to cherish all I have … everything I had ..

xiaolynn's waiting for you

' SHATTERED <3>
6/16/2006 08:48:00 PM

i had a very nice time with SQ today ... will remember it for the rest of my life ... it may probably be the last time ... but no matter will it be or not, it melted my heart so much ... he was sick but he kept it from me ... just to pei me for the "last time" ... when i read the msg ... i was so touched that my tears kept flowing =x

gonna meet jason tmr ... i'm feeling so unprepared and not ready at all ... i'm really scared ... but i guess all i can do is leave ba ... though i really can't bear to, but the fact is that his career has taken too huge an impact on him ...

wish me luck ...

xiaolynn sucks

' SHATTERED <3>
6/15/2006 11:05:00 PM

well ... he just msged me a couple of mins ago ... and here am i crying non-stop ...

why do i cry??? why do idiots cry ??? i had no guts to choose, so why do i cry ??? me this stupidest idiot in the world ... what a gutless bitch i am ... F*** myself la ...

why don't i ever face up to my feelings ... or at least be able to tell myself who i really love ??? WHY !!!!!!!!!! it's already almost a week and i never have made up my mind ... i really beginning to hate myself ... many ppl always tell me not to hurt myself like what i did last time ... but how ??? i'm hating everything so much ... alrights i don't hurt myself ... i commit suicide can ???

xiaolynn really miss him

' SHATTERED <3>
6/14/2006 02:54:00 AM

today i woke up at 2plus ... called sq awhile then went to cook maggie mee =( have been eating that many many times everyday ... so i thought i got up from the wrong side bed and decided to take out my assignments to do ... i noticed that mama was very happy about it as she was smiling ... however ... five mins later ... i disappeared from the table and went bathing ... since then her face turned black for the whole day ... cause i went out !!! weee~~~~~~~~~

went there saw, papa, korkor, da sao, bahan, ah him, esmond, lei xuan,gary and eugene ... so played the whole day la ... and spent alot of $$$ =( going broke soon .... bought a jacket from "lelong lelong" stall =x haha ... then lei xuan, esmond and gary sent me home .. slacked around then went back already haha ...

now talking to sq on the phone ... i feeling kinda guilty ... made 2 guys cry hais =( not gonna make my choice yet ... i'll still think ...

xiaolynn is feeling mix mix =)

' SHATTERED <3>
6/13/2006 11:37:00 PM

today ... i just realise the coward in me ... why don't i dare to make a choice ??? why don't i dare to say hi when i saw him ??? why do i have to hide ??

met up with SQ today at 12plus ... slacked around the whole day ... then arnd 7plus we went to void deck to sit ... after listening to some music ... thoughts ran through my mind ... i started thinking of many many things that i've buried in my heart these times ...

cried a lil .. still wondering why ... perhaps is contents of his phone that gave me the feeling ... i feel that he still loves her and i know that my intuition can't be wrong ... maybe he just haven't completely forget her ... so i went home as i couldn't stand it anymore .. i so wanna burst out and cry ... but of course not in front of him ...

reached yck mrt station ... before i saw him .. i already got that feeling .. the memories we had at yck ... i got the sixth sense telling me that i'll meet him here ... i was praying that i won't when i saw him ... i just couldn't go over and say hi .. * stupid coward me

hiyah ... just feeling so ... don't know how to describe la ... having gastrics ... shan't blog anymore ...

xiaolynn wants to cry

' SHATTERED <3>
6/12/2006 09:58:00 PM

some thoughts are running claustrophically through my mind ...

i feel guilty, yet i can't find the crime i committed ..
i feel soft-hearted, but it's too late for me to turn back ...
i wanna stand up, but something's pushing me down ...

AM I CONDEMNED ???

i have this very suffocating feeling that i'm a great sinner ... i feel like i've hurt the person who love me most but yet when i thought of the hurt also inflicted on me, i felt like i'm gonna regret all my life ... perhaps i really will ... for not treasuring what i had .. what exactly am i thinking or feeling ???

should i or should i not ?? is it right for me to do it ??? should i trust something that has happened almost overnight ??? should i habour the hope that it'll sustain a long time ???

on the 9th of june ..
everything was over ... yet i'm still feeling it going on in me ... on this very day, the world came crashing on me ... but everything was different ... it wasn't like the previous heartbreaks i had ... i could still put up a strong front for many people ... though the pain wasn't as excruciating that i couldn't even take it in the day ... but a feeling that i've lost something that i'll regret losing in the future injects into my heart and it keeps pounding there ... it wasn't the love ... but perhaps the gap ... i had wished everything never started ... i loved the way it was 2 yrs ago .. when you could be trusted so greatly ... when i knew you'll always listen to me troubles ... when i bravely entrusted all my secrets in you ..

that was the time when feelings need not be hid ... where everything was just so natural and true ... maybe remaining as friends would have do us better ... but now it's too late ... perhaps being a couple makes one's mind stressed up .. therefore, actions, behavior and words would no longer be true so as to accomodate each other point of view ...

if one were to put somebody in top priority, what would it be like ??? will money, fame and sucess overwrite it ??? i asked myself:" have i ever been an important person to someone whom i think is most important to me ??" the answer is a no. because i haven't found a person who love me that much to do so.

after crapping so much ...

conclusion: to love is to be natural ... ppl who hides themselves or are not natural will lose their love one day .. because when everything about you is suddenly revealed one day, you become a different person, not somebody that i'll ever love again ...

my heart's pondering ... should i move on ??? should i accept what's offered to me ??? will i regret letting him go ?? will he be the one who brings me out of darkness ?? or will he be the one who makes my world darker ???

guys .. i have so many questions and doubts ...

one last question ...

AM I SIMPLY GOING BONKERS ??? OR HAVE I ALREADY GONE BERSERK ???

xiaolynn faints ###

' SHATTERED <3>
6/11/2006 03:46:00 AM

today i'm quite happy ... but yet a lil not ... i no longer feel the emptiness, yet i do feel insecurity .. i'm a lil stuck in the middle yet i wanna move on ... i have to pick myself up i know ... but i simply can't make up my mind about some things ...

i do not have full confidence in you, but i do love you ... hope you wouldn't let me down like what others do ...

i'm really confused i don't know what to say ... i wouldn't say i love you yet, but i'll wait ...

xiaolynn's feeling 2 bits

' SHATTERED <3>
6/11/2006 12:16:00 AM

nothing much to blog ... rotted at home these few days ... but was still ok ... had assignments to complete ...

don't ask me about rltsps ler ok ??? i'm serious not ok ...

anyway ...

happy birthday bai daddy =) u are old .. =x

xiaolynn's crying

' SHATTERED <3>
6/09/2006 11:00:00 PM

haven't met baby for 2 days already ... so bored =( went to school again today ... but it's the last day of extended cirriculum and last day with bay bay also =( e4 shall miss him loads ='(

jolynn wishes mr bay all the best in whatever he does =)

since i'm very bored ... i went around disturbing people like:

1) SQ *ahems* (LOL)
2) josh (in msn)
3) my marmie ( by nagging at home instead of her =x )
4) Mishal ( in school )
5) practically everybody i see these 2 days ..

so you see darling ... many people become victim of my mood swings when you are not around .. =x so you better get your butt right beside me soon ... or else people will be knocking on your door soon =) miss you so much ...

wanted to post some photos i took but as people around me know, i'm a com illiterate, so i tried and tried yet nothing came out .. BOO~~~

have this eagerness to go on a killing spree ... go and "tok" people in initial d .. with sq*ahems* of course ... plus josh if he wants ... obviously because i'm lousy enough to get "tokked" by others rather than they "tok" me ...

okok ... i know i'm getting really out of point ... but that's the point x) this stupid mood of mine have been around for a few days .. and peeps around me are mocking at my foolishness BOO~~~~ again ...

bah .. whatever ... don't feel like ranting anymore ...

-CREDITS-
www.blogger.com

it lets me rant on and on .. until i feel better ... it feels so good to have you =)

haha .. i guess i still don't feel better =x

hiyah !!!! end here la ... if not i'll just continue crapping ... these are the days when i never run out of topic to talk about =) thank goodness oral's around at this time ...

take care and bye guys =)

xiaolynn continues ranting at people ...

' SHATTERED <3>
6/07/2006 03:40:00 PM

time passes sooooooooooooooo fast ... mr bay's leaving us really soon ... we shall miss him ... and his lessons are being taken over by her ... why do we have to see her so frequent .... grrrrrrrr ... hope she doesn't take leave too often the next semester ...

today i woke up at 8am ... so early right ... it's terrible having lesson for the 1st two weeks holidays ... the thought of our 2 weeks holiday gone just like that really make me so blue ... today went to school quite early .. so went to take a look at the choir ... standard kinda drop but was still ok and manageable considering the small strength they are having now .... miss choir so much ...

after that went for chem and social studies lesson ... slept and slept and finally it was time to go home ... so i just went to buy food and headed home =p might as well don't go school right ...

now i'm eating away again ... don't know when can shed kilos ... =x

.: my dream
1) no excess fats
2) no extra flesh popping out
3) some body contours
4) to stop day dreaming =.=

how can i ever acheive my dream when i'm still eating so much ??? lol ... someone please stop me ...

xiaolynn's munching away ... *oops

' SHATTERED <3>
6/06/2006 02:28:00 PM

hohoho ... today had eng oral ... it was ok until during the conversation i said:" YA LAH" ... *arbish* flunk it ... lols ... whatever ... did that stupid vocab thingy ... 600 words omg ... spent the whole day doing 30 only ... actually cannot consider as whole day la ... should be 3 hrs ??? haha ... we were so hungry then started counting down ... i wasn't that hungry la ... but the atmosphere of hungry ppl influenced me ... that's how i got soooooooo fat ... lols ...

after school went to KFC ... yum yum ... then went home to bath and as usual ... off to baby's house =) when i reached .. his mummy, rayson and guo hao were leaving the house already .. so i went to bed to take a nap .. had terrible muscle cramps but got better later on ...

actullay baby and me planned to go to wing tai to get some office wear for work ... but in the end never open .. so went to hougang plaza then hubby treated me to suki sushi =) yum yum again ... thanks hubby =p recently have been eating loads and loads ... putting on kilos by kilos ... yesterday just eaten sushi today again haha cause yesterday baby was tempted by me and my mum but he was too shy to eat ... so he brought me there again ... lols ... today i ate super duper lots as it was a buffet ... finish eating already, i feel as if i bearing twins .. haha ... the food inside my stomach churning and churning ... went to walk around ... bought baby's shirt ... couldn't find suitable pants cause that damn auntie keep insisting that it's because of the way baby wears his pants that make it don't fit him ... wth ... her tailor skill lousy say lousy la ... baby never had problems with other pants lor ... nevermind ... shall get him one when i have $$$$ ... anywhere sell nice office tapered pants ??? not too tight one ??? got lobang tell me kkz ... haha ...

shall stop here ... SQ in msn hehes ...

xiaolynn very full *burps (oops)

' SHATTERED <3>
6/05/2006 09:31:00 PM

today i spent the whole day with my baby =) so happy ... went to his house around 12plus and saw his ah gong there ... i didn't dare to go in but in the end baby brought me in lols .. slacked around then went to temple to pray .. prayed for baby's business to be sucessful, health to be fit, and of course for us to chang chang jiu jiu =) hope guan yin ma grant our wishes >.< then went to 7-11 to buy some stuff then hubby's face changed haha ... nevermind ...

went back to baby's house .. "slept" a little ...then baby cooked for me =) love him loads .. ate till soooo full then went to my house to get some things and headed to kovan to meet my mum .. and ATE AGAIN.. feeling like a pig ... baby is always stuffing me with food ... i think he seeking revenge cause last time i always force him to eat wan ... lols ...

after that hearty meal, we went to book a tour .. so sad hubby couldn't go =( cause i asked my mum to book her leave after his hols cause baby complained that if i went during his hols, he'll be so bored ... haha .. in the end he can go but my mum's leave cannot change ... nevermind ... we can go during the year ends ... if guan yin ma lets us last long long till 4ever then there'll be more chances then ... hope we'll last that long =)

bought a watch ... gonna go back some time to get that phone cover .. mine very old liao ... actually we intended to buy another watch ... very very nice one ... but it was alot of crystal that cause the price to be a damn bloddy $56 ... wth ... we broke already so settled for a $4 watch which was on sale ... quite nice also .... haha .. budget ...

nothing much to blog lei ... shall continue some other time =)

xiaolynn so happy

' SHATTERED <3>
6/04/2006 09:15:00 PM

o2o6o6

it was REALLY BORING .. didn't meet up with baby today cause he had school and need to work in the evening ... in addition, i needed to go back to school for the whole damn day ... =.= but spent the whole day doing practically NOTHING but playing text twister =) after which i went home to take a nap as our dearest mdm sumayah decide to let us off early ... hohoho ... love her loads ... woke up and went to hougang mall to play ... esmond and lei xuan sent me home then we end up chatting downstairs until 9pm ... they took my hp don't want return =( i had to snatch it back cause it's my baby's phone ... how can they take it !!!! BASTARDS =P the condition was to say please and call esmond "kor kor" ... NO WAY can ... he's so much younger than me lor ... in the end after much struggle, esmond returned me my phone as i took lei xuan hostage =x went home .. bath ... started painting my nails ... and realised that my manicure skills suck ... polish was kinda uneven and i always spoil it before it dries ... so waste alot of tissue and polish ... that's all =)

o3o6o6

once again .. my darling brother jason woke me up at 10am =.= because i asked him to ... lols ... dragged till 1plus then go atrium ... played initial d, and vomitted blood cause my skills sucks too ... wait for ROOP wait so long can ... then the match started really late ... was so cold over there as i was near the air con ... so alex lent me his outer shirt to wear ... so kind of him =) but his shirt was really big lols .. he's online msging me that's why i remember =p but after i return him as he was going off for awhile ... he say he'll be back ... so i shivered and shivered ... finally he came back ... but he PURPOSELY don't want lend me his shirt ... FINE ... haha ... then about 6pm baby came and save me =) brought me to punggol end ... had a very sweet time there ... =) after that big quarrel ... i can sense that he's trying to treat me better and is more considerate towards my feelings .. thanks baby =) you know how i sense it ??? cause you always ask:" i say/do this you will angry ma ??? really ma ??? don't smile smile then go home cry lei ... " haha ... today's a happy day .. shall remember it for the rest of my life cause i think now i have about 6 mosquito bites =( lol ...

lazy to blog ... alex still waiting for me in msn ... blog some other day ... take care guys ... bye !!!!

xiaolynn smiles non-stop =)

' SHATTERED <3>
6/03/2006 10:30:00 PM

hmmmm ... haven't blog for sometime ... this whole week until next wednesday we having june block revision =( now typing away in com lab =) do research until very sian already so decided to update my bloggie ... hahs ...

yesterday school ended early so i went home to catch some sleep .... didn't sleep the previous night cause had a big big quarrel with baby =x everything's ok now ... finally ... i love him sooooo much =) then i slept for about 3 hrs and my mum woke me up saying that baby's calling me and the phone is disturbing her lols ... * disturbed my snores hmpf ... after baby called, i tried to sleep back =x but i didn't cause i was scared that i won't be able to wake up in time lols ... so went to bath and prepare then waited for hubby at hougang mall ... ate dinner and went home as baby need to work ...

today's boring ... boring math, boring f&n =( later meeting up with baby and mom to go my uncle house cause baby sprained his ankle few days ago ... poor thing =( hiya ...

teacher's looking =x blog sometime later =p

xiaolynn's yawning

' SHATTERED <3>
6/01/2006 10:50:00 AM