When People Say Goodbye

have changed my blog song =))) plain laziness has stopped me from uploading all the photos. i think 100 photos shouldn't be a problem now la. that's actually the reason why i'm lazy, having to think of so many captions. will take me at least an hour to finish uploading =.=''

"ONN ONN" will be in msia until tml =((( sianed, no more motivation liao. LOL !!! sound so ai mei la. hope he faster come back.

am dying in piles of assignments slapped right in my face. dread school though i only have school 3 days a week. but luckily there are sheryl, kai yuan, edmund, mei chan, yee mun, zara, jamie, mei chi BLAH BLAH BLAH !!! to acc me. basically everyone i can hang out with haha.

someone had fits on the bus i was on yesterday on my way to work. i know how to handle this type of situation, but then i don't know why i got so frightened by the very sudden relapse until i just stunned and watched. i feel so shameful for myself not being able to help. shu ling was on the bus too, we were like stoned ?? relieved that he's alright already. sorry i wasn't of any help
=(((

EDMUND AND KAI YUAN, i think it's pretty obvious i don't like PAN right !!! haha. see also know not him liao. stop being crazy if not i fry you two in a pan !!! LOL !!!

going off for english test already. 1 and 1/2 hour journey =((( wondering how i will fail.

' SHATTERED <3>
5/22/2007 02:48:00 PM

HAIS !!! i wanted to do a long update but halfway through uploading, the explorer restart. like WTF !!!! upload very long leh cause KY lappy rather lag.

am having bad luck man. really really bad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my lappy went rolling down the floor. KY is not to be blamed also la, cause i was the one who asked him to carry it. i feel so bad having him to pay for the servicing lor. actual price not quoted yet, when we meet the damned engineer then say ba.

somehow i like someone, but love jason. BUT hor !!! i dont feel like having a person in my heart now leh. i just wanna play play and play, then anyhow pull a guy on the streets and get married haha. LAME !!!

seriously lack sleep. have many many photos to upload, i assure you that the next post can scroll until your finger drop haha.

ok la, KY getting very bored without his lappy. i blog when i have time at home ba. i miss everyone !!!! no time to catch up =((( call me ok !!!

' SHATTERED <3>
5/18/2007 11:52:00 AM

i like someone now, but i don't even dare to talk to him. i love someone now, but i don't dare to hold on anymore.

i'm in a very very big dilemma, why can't i love or like someone who love/like me too. hmmmmm ... well, maybe i should just stay on my own for some more time haha.

CHEE ONN CHEE ONN :)))

i once loved you like you were my world,
but now, i have to pick up myself and carry on ....

i like you*

' SHATTERED <3>
5/14/2007 12:09:00 AM

well well well .... i'm seriously lacking time to update.

i think yesterday there were a few incidents which made me feel like bursting.

INCIDENT 1

bangala: hello .... %%$^%&^&*(&*(something in tamil)

about 1quarter of a second later ...

HELLO !!!

AND IT REPEATS AFTER EVERY SENTENCE !!!

this leaves me to wonder whether it is a tradition among our indian friends to reply before their friend finishes their sentence.

dont sound funny but wait till you see it for yourself.

INCIDENT 2

boy: mummy !!! i want to go toilet.
mummy: wait, we will get off the next station and go to the toilet.
boy: but i cannot wait anymore, can i pee in your mouth ??
mummy looking offended ....
mummy: of course not, how can you do such a thing ??
boy: because daddy always does it to you !!! i saw it, so can i do it too ??
mummy blushed-

HAHA !!!!!! oh well ... maybe i'm feeling better already. things aren't smooth this whole week but somehow i got it settled with much effort.

deadlines for assignments are coming near, and i have not started on any assignment yet, same goes to my classmates. we just have not enough time to observe la. hopefully we can pull through the 1st sem, which many of our seniors say is easy =.=

choir totally rock, always looking forward to the practices :) i'm slimming down a lil, just abit only. but i don't know how long can it last. someone ask me go gym or swimming !!! haha.

am in lesson now, gonna catch up with the rest !!! cya guys !!!

' SHATTERED <3>
5/11/2007 10:50:00 AM

well ... i don't exactly know what to update for my blog. though these few days were passing very happily, but that emo part still lingers around.

really, many happy things happened, cute responses from customers, nice people, classmates and colleagues. but just can't wash away the unhappiness, agony and loneliness. i wished i wasn't working that day. FUCK !!!

but today all of us were damn angry. stephanie put aeroplane, i know her husband is hospitalised. she was given 5days off and was supposed to report work today. not only she didn't turn up, not even a damned call to inform us when she can come back lo. the whole freaking day leh !! call her house, hear her kids playing but no one talk. GRRRRRR !!!

so me and zhan yi worked OT and report early for 2nd shift.

thursday --> 6.30pm-10.30pm
friday --> same as thurs
saturday --> 12-2.30pm, 6-10.30pm
today --> 12-3pm, 4-10.30pm
tml --> 6.30-10.30pm
wed --> 6.30-10.30pm

how to survive, tell me !!! i still have school, so after i rush there lo. got attachment, CCA, appointment blah blah blah !!! SHIT la !!! think thursday might not have time for shopping le =((( hopefully there is ba.

i still miss you like hell, but you belong to someone else now.
i wonder what are you two doing, but i just can't seem to know.

like the star embroidered in my eyes, i'll love you forever.
even if i am to love someone else in the future, there's still a special place in my heart for you*

the roots of my love, so unpluckable ....

' SHATTERED <3>
5/07/2007 01:13:00 AM

this fucking morning i was still smiling happily walking in the rain to hougang mall for facial. everything seemed so fine. slowly strolling to NTUC and then back home.

was anticipating a good day at work, so i prepared for work without needing much procastination before that. even the demanding customers didn't affect my mood, until he appeared ...............

not alone, not with friends, but his new girl friend. my heart sank at that very moment, i fought to keep back the tears and buried all my heart in working. but i just couldn't keep my fucking eyes off him. that smile, that look of happiness reappeared on his face. i took a glance at her, very pretty.

he appears every now and then before i could forget him, with a new girl. but none of them were his girlfriend. i was hoping for the same, until i saw him putting his arms around her waist while leaving the shop. that instant, was totally heart-shattering. i couldn't control anymore, can't even bear to give them a smile which other customer get, not even keeping eye contact.

shortly after they left, i ran to the kitchen and broke down. my caring colleagues tried to comfort me telling me that it was his loss. but it was me who didn't treasure him. how am i suppose to accept that ??

she is much prettier
she is slimmer
she dresses better
she eats lesser
she is gentle, i'm rough
she makes him happy, i don't
he loves her, not me ...............

she made me feel lousy, very inferior. she totally turned my world upside down. nono, it was already upside down, she shook my world and threw me into the deepest hell.

did he make any loss by leaving me ?? no. perhaps he made the right choice. i should be happy that he found someone he like, if i love him, but i don't feel happy or relieved at all !!! i don't wanna deceive myself. i'm a sore loser in love, i'm a fucker who don't know how to treasure love.

i just met him on the 23rd, i think he didn't have a girlfriend then. maybe they even share the same anniversary like i did with him ?? i don't know. i deleted his msges on accident yesterday, was that a sign that i should forget the memories ?? but i really can't.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ?? I REALLY CAN'T GIVE UP AT ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FORGET !!!

*pronounced dead

i love you, i still do, i really do, i always do.

' SHATTERED <3>
5/03/2007 10:57:00 PM

well .... i'm getting hot-tempered nowdays, PMS !!! HEHE !!!

quarrelled with koh ah beng for nothing, guess we are ok now. cause we sent each other goodnight msg haha, that's what i assume la, i dunno about him.

collect my ez-link card with that fugly photo on it. finally, i can save up abit on travelling fees. i enjoy sports and wellness :) just that i'll get very sweaty YUCKS !!! peter kwang always bullies me during badminton but it's ok, i believe i can surpass him one day, dreams-

was playing mahjong at mel's house today, like FINALLY !!! and through the FM, we heard about this issue whether singaporeans understand the real meaning or significance of Labour Day ??? well .... to be very very honest, the significance to me is just that i have extra day off, and i can work so that i have 1.5 times pay WAHAHAHA !!!

was winning in mahjong at first, then change place during 2nd pok then moodless le. keep putting "norbet", in the end lose $19. my luck in mahjong is still bad afterall LOL !!! but it's ok la, the main thing is that i caught with my friends today. always school and work, no time to meet up with them.

went to bugis after that, to find benny, ah joe, alex and some other people i don't know. my initial d skills never deteoriate that much. had late dinner at about 9plus, then took a bus home.

have been eating alot of sushi recently, like some cheapo. cause got staff discount then always eat haha. no la, sushi is one of my favourites, so when i work, i can only look at people enjoy their food, thus it's inevitable for me to get tempted right ?? saturday was lunch buffet with mummy, sunday was dinner with relatives, what next ??? =pppp

i told myself i won't get affected on monday 30th april, true enough, i wasn't at most times. but dawn on tuesday was an emotional one to me. who ask all the songs that shuffle played were all emo songs, damn it. but i didn't cry, i'm stronger now :) of course there's still some attachment in the heart but i guess it's normal since i was once with him.

*i've never had a tear so hard to wipe away, cause i found a smile so precious, so hard to let go, so diff to forget.

- he was once here, right in my heart, now i should let him go.

' SHATTERED <3>
5/02/2007 12:41:00 AM