When People Say Goodbye

awwwwww .... neck aches, back aches, cramps whatever everywhere ... perhaps dying soon ... so saddist now days haha ... keep wanting to die, don't know why ... keep thinking that i'm dying .. my 2nd post now is to tell myself that, the 3rd pool of blood is not out !!! very gao wei !!! perhaps, i'll get used to the habit of coughing blood out everyday, then collecting it and donate x)))

things to abstain from:

1) computer (i can't do it =p)
2) initial d (soon soon ...)
3) tobacco (prays)
4) memories of that human being (i guess i can)

things i have to do:

1) study *nahs
2) clear my room *when??
3) diet *trying to

what i have to do, not one is done =p nad i'm like updating twice a day ... crazy huh ???

' SHATTERED <3>
8/31/2006 09:29:00 PM

today, that bloody esmond called me at 6am in the morning ....

ME: hello ... (very sleepy voice)

esmond: hello, never go school ???

ME: sick, not feeling well, why ???

esmond: no la, nothing to do so wake you up for school lor ...

ME: wa lao ... when i want to pon school then you call ...

esmond: ok la ok la, bye bye ... *laughs

=.= damn it ... can't he call on the days when i'm gonna be late for school haha ... luckily i know him very long already, if not sure kanna scolding ... but this is the first time he does such things haha ... so i went to school kinda heavy headed ...

it was very very cold, forgot to bring jacket ... though i was wearing 4 pieces of clothing, i was still shivering and having running nose .. w/o my daily dosage i used to have, i really fall sick real easy ... perhaps i should stop deceiving myself that i can live w/o that .... what's worse in the morning was that, i ran in the rain all the way to school ... as some of you know, i'm not exactly in a good mood nowdays, so i thought being drenched in the rain everyday would do me good ... as i ran and ran, i saw my friend walking in it instead ... 0.0 so i accompanied her lols ...

activites were cancelled due to the weather, so we had form teachers' time ... running a high fever in class but it was on and off ... went to toilet to cough out my 1st small mouthful of blood yet again but this time was very painful cause same of it couldn't come out and got stuck in there ... then vandalised the whiteboard ... went to hall for concert at 9plus ...

i love bowen when there's some celebration and concert going on ... the spirit of bowen haha ... we can find fun outta everything then everybody's cooperation to make it sooooo fun haha ... jun kai sprained his spine while doing that very nice break dance for the teachers, do take care ya ...

after school msged eugene, ah ken, many many people ... but in the end went JP to find my niang and fei fei shu shu ... ate little bit ... having eating disorders i guess ... hand trembled while playing again, then didn't break record lor ... kai qi beat my habd until his palm print still on my hand =( whack him on sat ...

reached home around 7plus ... went to toilet initially with no intention to vomit ... but somehow i coughed and there it goes, the 2nd mouthful ... not whole mouth so scary la ... waiting for the 3rd mouth to come haha ...

go blog-hopping now ... take care guys =p

jolynn coughs coughs

' SHATTERED <3>
8/31/2006 08:11:00 PM

school ends at 11am tomorrow ... peeps pass this message around ... it's good news eh ?? =)

3 posts in a day *woots haha .. almost coughed out blood the 4th time but it didn't came out ... 3 makes a nice number haha .. 4 means death ... but if there's a fourth time, i wouldn't mind =p

feeling very slack haha ... hope i can start to mug soon ... i'm still hesitant whether to chiong coursework or not haha ...

jolynn screams !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
8/30/2006 10:23:00 PM

tada !!!!!!!!!!!!! coughed out blood the 3rd time ... sore and painful chest, itchy throats and cracking lungs i guess ... even if i made a trip to the doctor, he will just tell me:" coughing out blood 3 times a day helps in removing toxic in your body, keep it up !!! " cause he can't wait to see me die haha ... i'm feeling sooooo darn nonsensical( such a word exists ??? ) now days ...

today was a "GREAT" day for me .. firstly, social studies paper was not that very bad .. just 2 questions undone, that's all *fake a smile .. was almost finishing the essay with " ..... knowledged-based economy" then time was up ... what if they penalise cause of that word ??? it's the crucial word in that damned sentence, how how how ??? SEQ had merger and separation included in it ... the 2 questions i did before, very very easy ... but then, i studied everything except that !!!!!!!!!! damn it again ... so i did "looking ahead" hoping that it wasn't too badly done ... SBQ to me is not that easy i don't know why ... i only knew how to answer 1a and 1d ... 1c and 1d not done ... haha ... 13 marks fly ... of all the issues, united nations have to come out ... i hate that aspect so i kind of wrote crap la ...

math paper 1 was ok but tedious ... didn't answer some parts of the questions ... a "B4" should be attainable i hope ... if not mr yeo's gonna say something ...

later a meeting was called for the f&n students ... so received our practical photos ... then i told sumayah that i wanted to drop this subject, if she don't let, i'll just absent myself on that day ... but she said:" don't drop !!! your coursework B was very well done !!!" that leaves me thinking, should i trust her ??? cause she always say very good but give me a just pass mark ... but i went home ... sat in front of the computer, and couldn't type out a single word for coursework ... TELL ME !!! HOW TO EVEN PASS !!!!!!!! i just didn't know what to do and have no mood ... i requested that she open the computer labs for us to complete the coursework, she said we should have done it long ago ... yet she encouraging us to finish it ... so contradicting ... should i or should i not ???? hais ... so vexed ...

"o" levels sucks like hell !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after school couldn't find anybody out ... talked to john on the phone awhile then bathed, watched VCD, then went hougang mall ... didn't do much, initial d skills like rusty liao ... then after that bought KFC ( yet again =.= ) and went to kor kor's house ... watched TV played com ... talked to kailing then went off at 8plus ... now nothing to do ... maybe go practise math ba ... cya guys =p

xiaolynn hates major exams

' SHATTERED <3>
8/30/2006 08:43:00 PM

FARK !!!!!!!!! I JUST VOMITTED BLOOD AGAIN !!! WHAT THE EFF IS HAPPENING TO ME !!!!!!!

GOD, PLEASE SAVE ME, I'M DYING WAHAHAHA ...
GOOD THING ALSO LA HAHA, ONE HAZARD LESSER ON EARTH =P

JOLYNN VOMITS SOMEMORE !!! MORE !!! MORE !!!

' SHATTERED <3>
8/30/2006 01:48:00 PM

on this very fateful night, the beginning of a whole new life, story and destiny soared up to the sky, promising wonders to be created ... from now on, relationship should be striked off my list of priorities ... er jie, slap me if i turn back ... i need to wake up, everything's ain't beautiful anymore ...

on this very starry night, a girl walks on her own, to look for what she called "fate" .. she seeks her dreams and stand up tall ... she will stand strong for her roots are now on the ground, not floating aimlessly ...

anyway, straight to the point, single and unavailable ... the new bitch is standing right in front of you !!! here !!!!!!!!! =.="

in addition, this bitch would like someone to motivate her ... of course to study !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! darn it, tomorrow's SS paper, off to study ... may be blogging less often now ... bye peeps

xiaolynn finally opens her book

' SHATTERED <3>
8/29/2006 10:06:00 PM

no choice, but to choose this colour ... there ain't much choices huh ? haha ... today i woke up real late ... mum woke me up at 11plus ... but actually had to go airport but she decided not to go .. slept back then woke up at 1plus ... called sQ then cooked noodles to eat ... have been eating noodles this few days ... nvm haha ... then bath and went yishun, to find who but sQ ... haha ....

played the 20cent game and i got the bonus 10 tickets =) waited for sQ to come then went to buy KFC to his house eat ... got a little angry with him for some things but was ok later on ... then read newspapers, ate ice cream, shouted for wei jie downstairs, many many nonsense stuff except studying haha ... still not in the mood i guess, when my prelims are starting tomorrow haha ... damn late !!! other schools fnished a week ago and are having holidays now !!!!!!!!!!!!! bowen sucks in this aspect, refuse to give us much holidays, just wanna drill us ... they are striving for autonomous school but it's sure impossible cause the staff of sch only cares about school reputation, not student welfare ... if i were to get beaten up somewhere else, my dear teachers will tell me to apologise to that person for their god damned reputation's sake ... then behind the scene, will pretend to comfort me whatever ... what i'll just do i slap that teacher's face and walk off .... haha ... just crapping today ...

went back to northpoint to play again .. not so lucky this time ... today NONO didn't break record then we went home le haha ... had a good "chat" with him ... but my father just had to call just when we were about to start talking about things ... damn it !!!!!!!!!! wahahaha ...

xiaolynn goes ding-dong

' SHATTERED <3>
8/27/2006 10:29:00 PM

don't feel like writing much ... not exactly in a good mood now ...

yesterday went to PUB auditorium for concert with sQ, weenee, chu ping, fiona, giolinni, jonathan, lewis(i think it's spelt like that), yuan ting, miss huang and her boyfriend .. i thought her bf was quite fierce la ... haha ... made sQ ate some things ... didn't know it was seafood, made his tongue itchy, sorry >.<>

26o8o6

atrium day as usual ... but very few people went as there were no matches today ... played abit ... then accompany josh awhile ... headed for jurong point with sQ and jiao bin ... met jun long, ri ming and yong shun there ... said "hi" to YS but he treat me like transparent ... to admit, i seriously think that he has attitude prob too ... f*** him la ... "oh-so-mighty" initial d player huh ???
ate KFC ... 5th day we are eating it .. then broke my record by a teeny wheeny bit ... met my mum then sQ went off ...

later on something happened, not convenient to say here ... but i guess i won't discuss it with any other people as it's other people's personal matter ... but just a note for that someone: treasure whatever u have ... don't always see it as bad cause you never know people out there have worse than yours ... it's already very rare to see couples cooking together everyday after 20 odd years of marriage ... hands over all his/her salary to the family ... a sudden outbreak of temper doesn't mean he/she has changed ... instead of blaming him, why not try to understand what's unhappy inside he/she and try solve the prob as a family ?? isn't it better that way ??? perhaps some people just don't know how damn lucky they are .. i may look real happy on the outside, but nobody knows what exactly i experience with my family ... so ya ... that someone, please try to understand what i say and not trying to rebutt me or prove me wrong or what ... i know it's bad that this happen but it's not right to look at it this way either ... well i admit, my father never gives a single cent to my family, blames and scolds us everyday, still wanting to take revenge though we did nothing but trying to guide him onto the right track .. he thinks we are the cause of it ... chinese saying: gou yao lu dong bin ... pessimistic, scheming, revengeful, unreasonable, crooked, cunning or whatever u can use to describe a sly person with many many ulterior motives even to those who treats him well ... many think that i'm merely saying this in a fit of anger, but only i myself know how much i hate him ... without him, my life'll definitely be 100 times better ... i swear ... even my mum thinks so, so do u still think u are unlucky ??? someone, please try to understand ... hope your matter will be resolved soon ...

xiaolynn aches at her current life situation

' SHATTERED <3>
8/27/2006 01:29:00 AM

these few days, my stomach must have been playing tricks on me. i'll have the runs half an hour to one hour after my meals. so frustrating, the pain can be real unbearable. and it gets bloated every second of the day, it's only when i'm asleep then i get some peace from my stomach. cause it's trying to make the churning taking place inside present to me. perhaps it's telling me to eat less and slower haha. i'm trying, but it gets worse =(

today had fun, but laughed alot. not that i don't like to laugh, but once i laugh too much, i get bloated stomach again. this morning had chemistry test, but i learnt about it 5minutes before the test, how to study? or rather, how to bother to study? so after attempting the paper for 5 minutes, i slept .. shiok !!! my stomach keeps quiet for once.

surprisingly, i survied through SS lessons without any head contact with my desk. today's lesson wasn't that boring la, so it's fine. analyzing which chapter to study for "o" levels and going through of structures of factor and perspective questions. i'm probably going to study birth of nations, northern ireland conflict, srilanka, diplomacy and detterence, whole of growth of nations, good governance and maybe conflict among nations. who shares the same spectaculation as me ?? want study together ?? actually it's quite a safe prediction cause i'm revising almost everything except for rise and fall of venice and a few other chapters. i'll never choose venice as SEQ la, NOWAY !!! pray that it doesn't come out for SBQ.

during recess, mishal and si jie actually ate finger food, but they accompany me in the noisy, crowded and dirty canteen as i was alone. thanks girls =) love you loads !!!

darn !!! 4periods of math, without much crapping like usual. went through questions, most of us couldn't catch any ball as we didn't do e-math. a-math was ok. so i did the a-math homework for today, so that i can find sQ to play =)

used physics period to finish up a-math as mrs tan was absent. she told us to do assessment book but who cares. i've never done any science homework. now i realise physics is actually much much more easy than chemistry. it's more basic and easy to remember. probably because i'm more of a math person. hopefully can excel in combined science then my humanities can get more of my concentration.

after school, i had lunch with erjie. long time since we did. then went home.

today's bus was very late as usual but manage to get ready before sQ reaches my place. i was rather early in fact, so took mrt to meet him on the way so as to save time. met at serangoon. slept on sQ's shoulder all the way to northpoint, i guess his shoulder is half-broken now haha. then my head kept hitting the wall so sQ face very sad sad haha. don't know why, recently i get very tired in the day but energetic at night haha. though didn't sleep in the day, not much in the night, i just can't sleep early.

i had many many KFC coupons. namira gave me 2 that day, thanks =) then i found the leaflet at letterbox, was sooooo happy cause it's been some time since the last offer. i always abstain from KFC cause it's kind of expensive. now i can eat it like mad haha. lasts until 26th sep only =( have been eating KFC the past 3 days haha !!! people wonder how i can take it. though i don't like to eat deep-fried food, but it's exceptional for KFC and chicken wings x))) will get fat soon, sQ put on 4kg, i think i have 8 extra haha !! nvm, after 26th sep then think of losing weight haha. easy for me as i can change this oily diet back to my usual as i naturally like bland stuff. would i say that's a talent? haha. once there's a diet difference, my weight will change drastically, but fat cells can only reduce in size, but not disappear. oh no oh no, maybe i should consider liposuction =p sQ, want join? haha.

acutally intended to study but ended up in the arcade. played many 20cents games, got myself 3 pencils =)!!!!!!!! went abit mad but was really happy la, don't know why. long time since i really had some fun. i mean those carefree and innocent fun. cause when i play initial d, i always think of schoolwork, concepts, blah blah. it's when i play childish games and make unexpected jokes out of it that makes me real happy. it's good bonding for friends also, they become closer through all these fun, agree? haha. so mk, nono and ri ming was laughing at me for being childish but whatever, as long as i like it haha. sQ laughed too, i know !!! after you read this, don't try to call and deny ok? haha.

later at around 7plus, we went to eat then joked many many more times. i love the times when friends just talk and joke about everything, it's just so nice feeling, very happy. think that's friends are for, to enjoy each other's company and not expect anything in return cause it's all fair =) then went to eat dessert, mk's dessert got the jelly thing, sperm-shaped WAHAHAHA. we kept playing with it, bursting and throwing it, so funny haha. bloated stomach, sure bloated, had a good time today. sQ looked happy yet weird at times, but just hope he'll relax abit la haha.

now i'm at home, miraculously falling asleep soon. so ya, goodnight everyone !!!

xiaolynn leaves a smile =)

' SHATTERED <3>
8/24/2006 09:36:00 PM

i'm kind of off track toda. maybe abit not.did a chinese composition during chinese lesson.studied very little for geography pre-prelims. i just don't understand why, everytime when people from other schools get back their results, our school has only just started exams!!!! so annoying!!!!

during chemistry, i got back my test paper about alkenes and alkanes. considering that i didn't even flip through the notes, i still got a 20/30. not bad eh ? i wrote CO2 as C2O haha ... so silly !!! 1 mark gone, if not get a2 le =( some careless mistakes here and there.

recess was fine. sat in a big grp consisting of si jie, mishal, heni, christabel, chia yee, er jie and me. talked many many stuff.

geography pre-prelims sucked !!! stucked at every question. i think i left a question or two blank. perhaps others are doing the same wahahaha.

slept through SS.

wasn't paying attention in math class, didn't do my assignments so couldn't get what he was trying to teach. said something kind of offending to mr yeo, sorry >.< thanks =")">

today's buses just don't compliment with my schedule. waited so long for every shitty bus. 165 took 30mins, 854 took 10 everything else was about 15, except the bus i took home with sQ.

meet sQ at northpoint around 3plus cause of the late bus arrivals. then ate KFC and went to his house to study. taught sQ math, but i think he'll literally forget everything haha. hopefully he passes his computing math tomorrow then i can dig tuition fees from him x)))

around 7.30pm, we went back to northpoint. initial d was bad today. did manage to run faster for a few checkpoints but didn't break any records. jun long was shaking his head when my TST and countersteering failed haha. went home after that.

konzen, a long-lost maple friend wrote a testimonial for me. memories flooded back. i was kind of "stress-free" at that time. so everyday, 8pm to 10am next morning i would be mapling with him. chatted about stories we told one another. said some philosophy thingy to motivate him to study. hope that he will. good luck eh =)

nothing much to blog already.

xiaolynn recalls

' SHATTERED <3>
8/23/2006 10:24:00 PM

feeling soooo blue today. this explains my choice of colour today. just felt darn lethargic today. didn't feel like waking up at 6am at all but had no choice but to pull myself up like a bull. well i am one.

assembly was a short one as the hall was infested with countless operation furnitures. (i mean exam tables and chairs.) form teacher's time was boring, but still not that bad. miss suan told us some stories and encounters in her life, and nagged all about respect. i droned on and on till er jie couldn't take it haha. are singaporeans really rude or discourteous ?? i just feel that they don't go out of the way to be extra friendly or polite. well, nothing wrong with that huh? i think reader's digest need to do more research on singaporean's culture or habits. every morning when you get into the lift at like 7am, will you go "HI EVERYONE !!! GOOD DAY !!!!" doesn't make much sense huh? we have tighter schedules than any other human beings holding the same job as us overseas, considering our tiredness, we still make attempts to smile and greet, isn't that manners already? here i go again, blabbering and blabbering.

did a survey about school life, a stupid one. 1st question went like that:

1) do you enjoy going to school?
a)strongly agree b)agree c)disagree d)strongly disagree

i was like "duh !!!" ain't it obvious enough ? dumb ministries.

PE was kind of slack today. couldn't bring myself to run, lazy to attack and defend. end up letting countless goals into our team's goal post *sorry >.<>

during recess i sat with si jie, christabel and mishal as the rest didn't want to eat in the canteen. so we had a long chat about many many things. then went back class after that. i hate homeroom system !! though we can to walk around, but it can be real tiring when lessons have alternate venues every lesson. we lost our sense of belonging to the school as we do not have our own sanctuary or rather, haven. so that leaves us with very limited memories of our teenage years except for the times during lower secondary. i pity our juniors but i guess they wouldn't feel so bad cause things were already like that when they came in. i miss our form classroom. =(

during english lessons, me and erjie have been real good kids as we really tried our best to finish the news article though we were very exhausted after PE. then upon completing our assignments, we fell asleep almost immediately. the news article was about "where have the days when teens could come out to play gone ???" i think by adding interviews or whatever shit into the passage is useless, the real sample or demo is in front of miss suan. i guess nothing beats seeing things with your own eyes huh?

mr woo tuck sing relieved us for F&N today. he seriously sucked. didn't allow us to buy food when we were in the canteen.
1stly, he couldn't even get us a venue to settle down.
2ndly, he himself went to eat after 5 minutes.

when i bought food, he told the auntie to refund it and not sell it again to us. so he said:"who say you can buy food? not i don't let, butyou want to break another school rule is it?" i replied:"explain yourself first. are you brainless or what? it's up to you to let us eat or not, rules are dead humans are alive.and you should know, this is not my first time" then i rolled my eyeballs and stormed away with laoni stomping behind too haha. i know i'm rude but who asked him to talk to us in that kuku manner. and laoni innocently told him which class we were from, if she didn't, the food will be digesting in my hungry stomach already haha, blur cow x)))

after that stanven bought food for us cause he permitted as he dropped F&N, i also want to !!!

then maths the relief teacher was ok. i actually intended to pon, but still went due to good peer influence =p see, erjie and weenee, i'm praising the both of you haha. slept at the last half an hour of the lesson as we had nothing to be done. ah chia can be irritating, real annoying !!! haha.

after school i went choir, hit a higher note this time. spotcheck on juniors. they sang very soft and without support, i hope the seniors or rather sec 2s and 3s of choir will teach them some mechanism in their body. though we can't do it well, but at least let them know how it actually feels and works ya. choir, work hard, keep it up, you guys are doing fine, with a little more polishing at melekka, you all can make it to gold in SYF de =) jia you !!!

went to hougang mall, borrowed some random books from the library as i had nothing to read for silent reading. couldn't find the books by Jean M.Auel as recommended by nicholas as they were all borrowed or missing. will find it sometime. banged into mum on the way home, so she decided to bring me to eat. we went to "xiao xuan feng" a chinese restaurant probably opened by some Chinese Nationals. the food there sucks, seriously!!!!!!!! don't go there !!!!!!!!! waste 40bucks on awful food. the soup and tau sar don't know what is nice but the main dishes really sucked !!! main dish suck=nothing nice.

that's sums up my day, talking to sQ now as i did not meet him today. see you guys !!!=p *waves

xiaolynn yawns

' SHATTERED <3>
8/22/2006 08:51:00 PM

well ... mr chong "begged" me to blog, so here i am ... haha ...

today wasn't fun at all can !!! except for chinese ... now i find the adjunct teacher actually quite nice, not totally full of nonsense .. what she said probably inspired the 16 of us .. gave us sweets haha ...

5 periods of eng and geog together can kill !!! esp when it's the same teacher teaching throughout ... slacked abit ... then maths was even worse, ain't listening at all .. today don't have practical exams cause sumayah was absent ... of all days, today !!! argh ... nvm ... i went home after that, not sure whether got relief teacher anot haha ...

then meet sQ at yishun ... today don't what's wrong with singtel and m1 ... sent 6 msges only 1 was delivered to me ... i got so angry ... thought he don't want reply me ... then i called him in class, heard him playing games thought he ignored me ... sorry >.<>

we went to buy stamps for the lucky draw thing ... go eat KFC ... wei jie, jonathan and their friend was there when we were halfway thru our meal ... came in so long still never see us ... lousy !!!! haha ... then filled in forms and game cards and put in envelopes ... and post !!! hope will win ... then went to near northland sec ... walk walk, sit swing ... watch the northlanders play netball haha ... awhile then alex called ... he was sad so we chatted abit while sitting on the swing ... then went to north point ...

today my baby car broke 4 records =) 3 by sQ 1 by me haha ... my tuban inbound got 2,41,308, could be faster though ... the rest i not quite sure ... finally broke record after sooooo long ... haha ... played awhile more and went home ... now conferencing with sQ and jiao bin ... gtg, cya guys =)

xiaolynn whines

' SHATTERED <3>
8/21/2006 11:21:00 PM

am kind of ok today .. had fun with sQ ... woke up at 11plus, considered earlier than usual ... cooked noodles and stuck myself in front of the tv for my fav show ... ended about 1pm then prepared and met hubby at TPY ...

2 jokes of the day

i was supposed to take bus 82 to change 153 to get to TPY, in the end, i took bus 62 instead, because i saw the sign wrongly ... not exactly funny but enough to make sQ laugh like nuts haha ...

i was making a resolution for the day ... to finish at least half my homework and complete some parts of coursework if i can, ended up ... i didn't bring paper to do homework ... not funny too but i just feel so forgetful ...

perhaps this should be called cold blur jokes of the day instead ...

ok back to journal of the day ... met sQ at TPY ... i just need to hide behind a pot of flowers and sQ won't be able to find me ... that shows how inobservant he is haha, perhaps he can't recognise me after so long yeah ?? haha ... then his mum and sis came along ... they went to top up their ez-link card ... then me, sQ and his brother went back to yishun 1st as his mum was still shopping ... went to his house, kept bullying him haha ... then "did" homework ... 2 questions only haha ... his father came back !!! omg ... i quite afraid of his dad cause i had never interacted with him before ... but he was quite nice la, though a little quiet ... sQ say is because he shy or what haha ... watched tv, laughed with his the other brother ... intended to go off at 7pm ... but when we reached downstairs, his mum called to say that his dad cooked my share haha ... so went up to eat ...

i think because they needed to cook extra so didn't know how much seasoning to put, so a little too much of salt and soya sauce i guess ... sorry >.<>

wait for sQ to call me ... sleeping soon i guess ... take care guys =)

xiaolynn tries to burp ... * EEERRRPPPP

' SHATTERED <3>
8/20/2006 10:42:00 PM

was actually kind of a good day but the cabby and my mum just have to ruin it all ... darn it ...

many many people woke me up in the morning or i would say noon ... kinda throwed temper when i stormed into the bathroom to prepare ... cashflow problems are coming again =( met sQ at serangoon mrt station ... went to atrium, then benny junlong they all put us aeroplane ... damn it again ... went to food court to eat .. bought curry chicken and shared the food haha ... later me and sQ walked to cenileisure ... on the way we passed by le meridien, the place which i performed for a week last year during x'mas ... i missed the place so went up to browse through it ... then walked to ceni ... look abit at clothes, then saw that "more than words" sold all the soooooo cute soft toys haah ... then window shopped ... boooooooo =(

went to jurong point ... met kai qi ... tuned our baby car ... now it's at 63K points, full tuned soon =) but her dad only played his own car, so bad .... wahahahah ... then met my mum, had dinner ... vegetarian hor fun, some tonic soup and broccoli with scallop ... then bought papaya for them haha ... later sQ bought very yummy mango ice cream for me ... thankies x))) went to my uncle house, then went home at 10plus ...

that damned cabby actually drove us thru the whole of bukit batok before reaching the bloody expressway ... then still dare smile ... i think he know that i want beat him liao then he collect 50cents lesser ... but i still slammed his door la ... went home, bath ... then mommy complained that everytime after bathing i never open the bathroom door big big ... not as if i closed it, just never open full nia, also must scold ... she say 100% everytime like that, so i refuse to admit ... where will 100% one, also got times when i accidentally open it very big one right ??? forget it la, she loves to condemn people ... everybody faults except her ... come to think of it, i never heard her say sorry to me ever since i was in this freaking world, i guess she thinks that she neevr makes mistakes .... she won't admit anyway .... the person she love and idolize most is probably herself ... learn to say sorry mum, it doesn't kill ... why do u always want ppl to consider your feelings when u have never considered about others ??? don't be selfish and unreasonable la ... still say want tell my husband or whatever that i like messy rooms, ask them to make it like that for me to clean so that i know how she feels ... u really too much lor ... if u do that, u are breaking up marriages and u shall go to hell la ... stupid old hag !!!!!!!!!!! u really had never given that much, really not ... be more complacent and u'll lose everyone around u ...

xiaolynn screams !!!!!!!!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
8/20/2006 12:16:00 AM

today .. miss chew is VERY VERY UBBER DUPER HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha ... shan't say why ... people who are close to me enough will find out in no time, or perhaps, they would have guess it haha ...

JOKE OF THE DAY

" where my underpants ??? " *whoops haha ... someone pls kill me !!! lols ... dying of laughter ..

today is friday, my favourite day ... i guess i've been quite a good girl today ... reached school punctually, did my assignments, tried my best in test and problem solving ... which i normally don't give a damn .. gonna retake o level chinese ... some may scold me crazy but they just don't know what i want and what i'm planning to do for my dreams .. need to pay $24 for the exam and my lovely mommy asked me to pay it myself ... #@$#@#$ arsehole ... which means that i have to forgo that oh-so-lovely bag i saw yesterday ... any kind soul except sQ, get it from me ok ??? =p green and white one please as sQ had mentioned ...

today was supposed to go JP ... but when i reached home, i saw someone i don't wanna see ... so ended up going out at around 3 plus ... what's more, we "dragged" till 5 plus ... so in the end, we went toa payoh only ... then played, screamed, eat and watched ... then took 153 back home ... this time sQ was really bullied to the extreme ... waahhahaha ... nothing much to say, except for "treasure whatever we have now, never it go fly off easily again ..." if not, regrets will greet u in no time ... i kind of pondered about my decision, will i regret??? have i made the right one ??? i answered myself:" time will prove everything .." any disagreements ???

xiaolynn xia ding jue xin yao du shu !!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
8/18/2006 11:00:00 PM

i think we're too unprepared ... that's all .. take it slowly boy, don't rush into things ok ... a step at a time .... gimme some time to change also ...

went to choir today ... bought tickets then joined them for warm up and the new song ... then went off ... ate suki sushi with sQ ... yum yum =) saw ah bai, vincent,shirley and sam ... very long never see them le haha ... went hougang mall played 2 rounds of initial d, then bought a hair clip ... at minitoons i saw a bag i like ... and soft toys too =p gonna get it real soon ... perhaps got bugis street to see if got lelong lelong 1st wahahahah ...

xiaolynn so full !!!

' SHATTERED <3>
8/17/2006 10:18:00 PM

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED !!!!
thanks to si jie .... well just have to do it eh ???

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 5 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Do the following without complaining.(HOW CAN I ??? IT'S 12AM!!!)
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you've completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say that he/she has been tagged.
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this.

FAVOURITES:

color: black, green and brown ??
food: sushi !!! and almost everything else ..
songs: too many to mention
movie: sea biscuit, and many more ...
sport: badminton, floorball, captain ball and swimming perhaps ...
day of the week: fridays !!!
season: winter and autumn
ice-cream: bud's ice cream ... traffic light of course !!! coconut ice cream with red bean paste

CURRENT:

mood: down, down and down !!!
taste: don't know ..
clothes: brown top with shorts ...
desktop: photo taken in NYP ...
time: 0005
surroundings: computer and loads of rubbish
annoyance: that damned bloated tummy ...

FIRSTS:

best friend: alot.
crush: sing lun ??? i think so ...
movie: too many ..
moviemusic: barney's theme song counted ???

LASTS:

cigarette: >.<
drink: plain water
ride: Cannot rmb
movie: lady in the water *sucks !!!
phone call: sQ ???
CD: soooooo long ago ... ages since i bought a new one ...

HAVE YOU EVER:

dated one of your best friends: yepppsss ...
been arrested: kind of ???
skinny-dipped: nope, in sg ???
been on tv: hmmm ... primary school for that agriculture thingy ...
kissed someone you don't know: nope.

THINGS:

4 things you did today: slept in class, almost cried during orals, ate nugget and fries, took bus 854 and 72 =p
sounds you can hear right now: silence !!!

the Chosen Five to do this!

1) sQ >.<
2) er jie
3) jonathan
4) gwen
5) prunella

' SHATTERED <3>
8/17/2006 12:03:00 AM

I SERIOUSLY THINK I FLUNK MY ENG ORALS !!!! I ACTUALLY SAID:"YA !!!"

wtf !!!! people said that the examiners smiled at them, how come not me ??? i think really gone case already ... reading was ok, i could tell from their expression ... but during the picture description, i actually yttered that damned word !!! my freaking future's gone ... cause oral cannot be retaken, and i have never passed paper 2 before ... someone tell me what to do ... ARGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today woke up at 6am with no intention to finish my a-math homework ... so on the bus, i was trying to practise my reading for oral later on ... teacher always say i read too fast causing my middle pronounciation to be swallowed and then marks for articulation will be deducted ... so i tried to flex my tongue abit and read slowly ... normally it would take around 2 minutes to finish a passage which is normal for everyone ... but i tried to slow down ... so i completed the passage only when i reached school ... adding the pauses and repetition i made to correct mistakes, i couldn't have took so long ... so i used 15minutes to read a bloody passage ??? far too slow i guess ...

reached school, talked abit ... 1st period was chi ... free time ... though i'm retaking chinese to get my damned "a1" ... didn't even solve a freaking question for a-math relative velocity ... spent time persuading her to retake her MT cause it was really bad ... she could have put in more effort and done better ... but instead of saying thanks, we got all her rebuttals and bullets shooting at us ... thanks eh ??? she knows that we don't like her esp me and *toot* but yet we still made the effort to show some concern.. yet she doesn't change for the better ... fine, continue giving excuses to your failures, see you crying in school next year ...

later was geog ... i told miss suan i'm retaking and she was like scolding me mad or what ... so she ticked my name .. then she cancelled ... then she ticked again ... so is like tick, erase, tick, erase ... why can't she just lemme decide ... say that won't force, then in the end come and nag everyday ... until we surrender, what's the big diff ?? i know i can't cope with other subj, that's why i'm having the intentions of dropping F&N, but she doesn't listen and just shoo me off ... so that's how much she care ... it's just plainly showing that she's stubborn and authorised enough to decide for us ... but it's my future, get that through your head .. listen before u brush me off, u said u will talk to me but this is all i get ... why can u listen to other but not me ??? nvm, i get my mum to write a letter .. don't say i'm being rebellious because this is what u forced us students to do ... blame yourself for not even listening ... it reflects badly on both u and the school, serve you right then ...

slept in social studies ... sorry mrs hee >.<>

maths was ok ... rather short due to orals ...

then came the time ... we are so nervous that we ate my whole box of mentos in just a few minutes ... then we found out that miss huang was from AJC choir, mr kwei's choir ... mr kwei's our idol, a very good chorus master, whoever in his choir for just the 1st time will idolize him like hell ... the way he conducts the choir and everything, the way he engages us was totally impressive ... so this is the difference btw ke lun and mr kwei huh ??? the shi fu and tu di haha ... so talked alot about choir ... invited her to come along to next fri's concert ... so the chatting relaxed us abit ... until hafiz went in the examining room ... it was my turn !!!!! gosh ...

details of the oral was already mentioned ...

actually wanted to go study with dahlan, weenee, christabel and mishal ... but it was last minute then only me and dahlan could make it ... i told her sQ's coming so she called it off too wahahahahahah ... so i went to yishun to find sQ ... it was already 6plus ... we went to cc to study ... i ordered food ... ate, watched tv ... but never studied haha ... i briefly read through geog notes, was still able to recall the lessons by mr bay ... i miss him, now that teacher's taking us for geog too ... and the way she teach, i'm bound to fail =( my bay, why did u leave so soon ... BOOO~~~~ how come i never seem to be able to remember any content during exams compared to revision and tests ??? i can't seem to understand the way they phrase the questions ... how ???

sQ sent me home around 8plus ... went my house opp to buy my traffic light ice cream =) played swing ... saw wilson, wei lun and dunno what name there too ... taled until 9.30pm i went home ... that quite sums up my day ...

SUKI SUSHI WITH sQ TMR x)))))

xiaolynn whines

' SHATTERED <3>
8/16/2006 11:26:00 PM

today was quite fun ... had photo taking though it was last minute ... this year's photo taking abit different from previous years ... they have no more formal class photo *yeah ... so it's semi-formal then after we split up into cliques and went various places in the school to take photos ... then *toot* joined inside the clique though it was obvious *toot* was out of it ... but suan le la, don't so mean ... then girls of the class took photo together and boys did too ... kind of a nice idea huh ??? but too bad it's our last year in bowen ...

after that was P.E, had floorball again =) er jie was complaining about her team consisting of all non-sporty players haha ... today was abit lazy to run but still had fun ... whacked many people, many people whacked me too ... gaya hoot me in my shin, very pain ... guo qiang almost tripped me .. shara hooked my leg with that damned stick ... and worse of all, i think yi ting or zhi kang hit the ball right in my face =( they pestered me to be goalkeeper for once cause i was really scared to be one ... and see what happens when i become one ... they couldn't score that goal cause the ball hit my face and rebounced, so after all i deserve some credit for sacrificing my face huh ???

today's english was ok but guo jing kept complaining that she was bored haha ... the picture was ok la ... then our class came out with many stupid stories ... marcus: they all look sad because they have learnt that their mother/grandmother will pass away soon ... they wore very formally because they want to let their mother/grandmother see their nice side for the last time .... me: they were frowning because hospital fee too expensive, they cannot afford it ... =.= wth haha ... then miss suan laughed abit ... conversation was even nicer ... miss suan: what do you think is the best present to give your parents on their birthday ... hanwei: massage chair because blah blah blah ... zhi kang and clarence: A GRANDSON !!!! LOL ... so hilarious la ... perhaps i may considering giving one to my mommy =p

F&N was like free period cause the other group doing practical so we slacked ... bought food ... then the VERY VERY LOUD thunder strike ... i mean really loud alrights ... i think it striked somewhere near the canteen, somebody saw it at the amphitheatre, so scary ... what if i walk pass there ??? thinking of it, it has been quite awhile since i even walk through the amphitheatre since i was sec2 ... at that time our homeroom was at basement so everyday stayed back and play captain ball until 6plus ... =) ok back to story haha ... went back to class and eat ... did relative velocity ... called sQ then went to sleep ... until dismiss, me and wee nee still haven't wake up ... then we decided to go maths class continue sleeping as afternoon lesson that day was maths ...

after school bathed, met sQ ... off to yishun ... played initial d, almost able to break record but some turnings cocked up ... then walked around yishun ... passed by all the 200plus blocks ... then ate at around dunno blk 264 there i think, or the coffeeshop opp ... then waited for rui ming to come down ... walked to 213 the basketball court ... benny and nono gayed with sQ wahahaha ... they were teasing him cause sQ was afraid that we might bang into her as it was her frequent hangout there ... want to see her then say la haha ... then nono teased some naval base secondary de lower sec boys ... they were playing bball, so he shouted next team .. it was meant to be a joke, but somehow or rather, they decided to have a game with them ... after that, some other people played also ... then after that we went back northpoint ... benny and sQ played tekken then i went home le ...

on the way home, told sQ many many stories ... so iw as like talking talking talking, so sQ was silently listening listening listening ... don't know why ... i'm in this mood where i blabber blabber non-stop but i don't care whether people listen anot haha ... then when we changed bus, sQ popped in 60cents worth of coins then the uncle said not enough whatever la ... damned him ... then went to opp minimart to buy praying oil for mommy ... went home after that ...

very long post huh ??? so tired now ... go sleep le ba ... bye !!!

xiaolynn blabbers on and on ...

' SHATTERED <3>
8/15/2006 09:36:00 PM

today was seriously boring can !!!! 1st two periods was chinese ... though results out, they called us back to class for admin work ... i don't wanna retake but they still detained us ... thought of completing math homework during that hour, so in the end could not ... then recess ate alot as usual ...

after that was the worse part ... 5 periods of miss suan nagging ... how i hope we can have different teachers for the two subjects ... i kind of get mixed up ... during geog i think of eng ... and the way she teach geog can really sleep la ... after struggling for a pathetic 2 and a half hours, it's finally math which was equally boring cause i don't understand a shit of relative velocity ... nowdays i quite slack and distracted probably due to other commitments ba ... i just can't concentrate la ... i think i can only concentrate when i'm studying with people like erjie who is more focused than me ...

after school was f&n ... it was ok, completed my coursework B ... coursework sure die ... practical exam's on the 21st *pengs* haven't even do planning can !!!!

after school i met sQ at my house downstairs ... went yishun .... studied a little ... taught him computing math ... i think confused him or what haha ... i don't know .... then after went up to play the 20cent coin game and got me, sQ and jun long some sweets haha ... jun long was going down the escalator, then i wanted to pass him the sweet .... so i threw it and it landed downstairs *oops hahah ...

then went home around 8plus ... slept on sQ's lap ... then slacked abit at downstairs, and went up ... today abit not myself ... i can't seem to feel anything ... i am either going bonkers or feeling numb ... is that side-effects of emotional upsot ???

xiaolynn wonders

' SHATTERED <3>
8/14/2006 10:47:00 PM

today ... miss bee(or whatever he calls me) is feeling kinda emo ...

the day started with a heavy rain just as i was about to go out ... mommy was bringing me to Thai Express and of all that could happen, it rained ... #@@##$ so we waited for the rain to stop then we headed to kovan ... by that time, it was already 2pm when we reached and i was definitely famished ... ordered curry soft shell crab with rice and tom yam fish soup ... mum ate the bangkok chicken rice ... we had coconut ice cream with red bean paste ... after i read si jie's blog oh-so-long ago, i told myself i must make a trip to thai express to try that ... i finally did ... it was really yummy, best dish in fact ... wahahaha ...

after that feast, i went back home to collect my study materials then met sQ somewhere near my house ...actually intended to return my library books at hougang mall ... but somehow due to habitual carelessness or what ... i headed to the arcade to look for esmond then after chatting me and sQ went to punggol cc to study already ... so didn't return it after all and sQ didn't remember either so i'm not the only one who is blur OK ... i just realised it now la, when i typed "to return my library books at hougang mall" LOL ...

after studying, we went back to hougang mall for a walk, and yet i still forgot to return the book !!!! damn it, have to make a trip down again ... though it's freaking near my house, but i'm lazy to walk la ...

around 7pm, me and sQ went to my void deck's playground to play with the swing ... then thought of many of my memories ... jason proposed to me at the stone chair ... sQ and i spent loads of sweet time at the tiled chair, and car park roof top ... blah blah ... then had a long talk with sQ ... he hugged me cause i said i was cold ... blah blah ...

every night i feel very lonely, helpless, empty whatever ... perhaps because i'm the only child then sleeping in a room all alone ... thinking of memories ... my bed makes me think cause it's the place i always cried on ... so much tears shed for many people ... perhaps it's a summary of my life ... so sQ said that he'll be there to hug me whenever i want, but too bad, i have curfew ... so he hugged me tight so that i won't feel lonely tonight ... thanks =) and i actually cried alot when he told me some things ... thanks boy ... i love you too ... it's just that i haven't came to a decision yet ...

goodnight everyone

xiaolynn misses her everything

' SHATTERED <3>
8/13/2006 11:07:00 PM

hmmmm ... today was half good and bad ?? went down atrium around 1 plus in the afternoon ... played .. good thing was, my 1st round of usui left dry with cappo broke a record haha ... 2,48,1xx faster than myself by 0,00,7xx secs lols ... then after that nothing got better, just worse lols ...

so watch wei jie vs leong chun that match ... it's like 2 of the sg's best challenging each other ... was expecting many spectators but in the end only half the usual people came to watch haha ... kinda "leng chang" ... so after that i didn't let wei jie rest then continued me and sQ vs wei jie and jon match haha ... jon at 1st got overtake until he shagged ... so akagi i decided to be nice and let him overtake =x no la, i was lousy i admit haha ... then sQ wasn't on form so lost some won some ... came to tuban, my most stressed-over map ... cause i was challenging wei jie, and as predicted, i lost everything round haha ... well, he's a top player, what can i say ??? lols ... sorry sQ >.<

then had a tiff with him ... cry abit ... then didn't really sort things out ... so we went to ps for dinner ... s**** too much until i very giddy and nauseous cause very long never *toot* le ... so the effect was kinda overwhelming ... then after that went back to watch them play awhile ... bashed up josh for eating "emperor chicken" ... i'm in team emperor what haha ... then squeezed ming kang's "ni po er" 3 to 4 times haha ... raped by me and kor, HI-FIVE haha ... "shuang jian he ping"

then went to jurong ... sQ followed ... that was when we talked things out ... i kept pushing him away when he made advances ... sorry >.<>

today we keep stealing looks at each other ... we both knew and so paiseh .. when he caught my eye, i pretended that i was just looking behind or beside him haha ... whereas his eyes shunned like lightning lols ... i got more skill =x ok la ... type till fingers ache already ... shall continue tmr ...

xiaolynn stares

' SHATTERED <3>
8/13/2006 12:39:00 AM

i forgot to blog about something really important cause that thing has been too overwhelming that even the joy of this important thing has died down so quickly ... normally i'll jump about going crazy , now i'm feeling half of it only ... but it's ok, better than nothing, makes me feel a teeny wheeny bit better =) alright, thats:

I GOT AN "A2" FOR CHI "O" LEVELS AND DISTINCTION FOR ORAL !!! WAHAHAHA !!!!

darn happy can !!! haha ... for the oral, it was not much of a surprise cause i usually talk alot and in chinese too ... i'm talkative, no one denies it xp but the written paper was quite a surprise for me ... though i received chi ed since young, but during o levels, my brain was totally blank when i got into the examination hall ... i just anyhow did the paper and handed it up ... and i had 2 mistakes for listening compre ... so i could have got an "a1" but nvm, i'm happy with it already =)

xiaolynn finally smiles =)

' SHATTERED <3>
8/12/2006 08:54:00 AM

ok i shan't be cruel to my readers (if i have any) by not typing in red .. but i'll change it to another shade of red which is orange !!! hahaha ... i found it kinda irritating of read the whole chunk of reds too lols ...

well ... here i am ... awake at 8am ... nahs, actually i didn't sleep at all ... tried to but somehow couldn't sleep ... was deciding whether should i give him that incomplete thing ... actually supposed to give him on thursday but i guess he won't want it ba ... will make him more sad also ... aiya .. bring down to atrium, later then decide haha ...

skipped 2 meals yesterday, i mean 2 and a half .. feeling quite light and dizzy today .. light is fine with me but not dizzy !!! later i still need to "zua" that damned steering wheel very hard cause that stupid wei jie refuses to let jonathan play tuban fu lu with me ... boooooo .... perhaps no need to zua, he will just overtake me and drive off wahahaha .. just like time attack ...

hais .. nothing to blog le .. just hope later when i see him everything'll be ok lor ...

decision:

if we win, i give him the thing
lose then throw away lor ...

xiaolynn thinks ...

' SHATTERED <3>
8/12/2006 08:26:00 AM

well ... after school .. bath, zi pi at home for awhile .. thought of many many thigns ... but have not came to any conclusion yet ... went to JP to find andy and judas ... trained abit for match over there ... though my iro up and tuban wang lu slightly improved, all timings are still atrocious ... win lose also nvm la ...

after that went home by train about 5plus ... was very crowded ... i'm almost fainting ... probably due to exhaustion ... went home .. vomitted out the stale air my empty stomach churned out ... ate bread for breakfast and biscuits for recess .. about 3plus had a cup of longan drink ... i think that quite sums up my diet for the whole day ... it's actually enough calories for my low level of daily activities but i'm used to having a big appetite so i felt quite dizzy the whole day ... vomitting over and over again ... sounds as if i'm pregnant wahhahahaa.. today went a little crazy ... saw dominic at JP ... gave him a cold shoulder, don't why ... sorry >.<>

enough said .. seriously fainting soon .. take it as dieting ba ... go sleep and everything'll be ok i hope ... goodnight ...

xiaolynn breaks down

' SHATTERED <3>
8/11/2006 06:49:00 PM

praying for a freaking miracle ... to hope that everything'll be alright ... have not slept last night ... having trouble keeping awake ... but i'll still pull thru ... i don't wanna sleep ... i don't wanna dream anymore ... everything u say shatters my heart again and again ... nothing seems to be alright ... the scars i thought may never appear again, presents itself right under my eyes .. so painfully and agonising ... under this sky, i pray for the star to appear, to bring me outta darkness, to somewhere that never hurts ...

here i pray, with the tears of my eyes dripping down my face .. with the precious blood that heaven gave me, running in my body ... here i'm born again, not with a better life but with a more refreshing one ... lemme take this step into my new world ... one at a time ... don't pull me back, i wanna learn to live my own life ... i wanna soar up to my own sky and seek my own destiny ...

xiaolynn loves you
that was months ago

' SHATTERED <3>
8/11/2006 01:43:00 PM

i'm all alone again .. standing on my own 2 feet ... in my reality ... not in my dreams anymore ... i'll never be the girl i was .. i shall strive for my own future and dreams and create my own destiny ...

what that i've left behind will always be buried in my heart .. though they may be taken out once in awhile to be looked at, but i'll try to never look back ... those that i've let down, my apologies here ... those that i've let go, i wish you guys best wishes ...

xiaolynn stands up once again
*a whole new world

beautiful stories always ends ... good luck ...

' SHATTERED <3>
8/11/2006 12:22:00 AM

nothing much today ... woke up late again ... around 1plus ... then went to house downstairs to mett my bro and his friends ... helped them with SS ... and the content wasn't found in textbook ... so it was really hard for me to help cause i'm not a history person ... so sorry guys =x

later baby joined me and we had our sweet part of time =) went to hougang mall, met esmond and guys to eat ... then played SSR and initial d ... feeling very tired today ... so went home around 6plus ... so early can ... bought a "traffic light" ice-cream to munch on then went home ...

actually today wanted to go northpoint cause intuition told me i would see "something" today but didn't go la ... don't know why, i'm longing to see "something" ... have this very weird feeling again .. i mean once again ...perhaps i'm falling in love with weird moods ...

after this, i'm gonna collapse in my comfy bed and dream off to lalaland ... wahaha ... bye !!!!!!!!!!

xiaolynn nods nods

' SHATTERED <3>
8/10/2006 08:03:00 PM

wahahaha ... today's singapore's birthday !!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE ...

though it's our country's birthday, the 9th of aug ain't that a good day too ... because

1) me and dear kinda of quarrelled abit
2) benny vs jun long
3) ming kang vs rui ming
4) grp of people vs another

haha ... so many people quarrelling .. small disputes la, but still not very nice to quarrel on national day eh ???

1stly, i woke up darn late today ... so had many many missed calls and messages flashing on the screen of my cellphone .... my bro asked me to help him with social studies ... i think 50% wrong person to seek help cause i have the notes and a lil bit of foundation, but i'm still not strong enough to teach ... haha ... nvm, i'll try to help him tomorrow ... then bath and went to yishun to find my baby ...

reached yishun, then there's this guy who approached me for my number ... but i'm attached la ... i so fat and ugly, his taste really bad man ... so bought OCK's trademark: curry O !!!! yum yum ... then met hubby at timezone ... jun long and NONO was wearing formal, then this thought came to my mind: should i go home and change ??? cause i was wearing very casual clothes, abit embarassing la .. then went to 925 to eat hokkien noodles ... today's food abit no standard so later proceeded to eat dessert ...

went to neesoon east CC to do coursework ... but ended up only doing half a page LOL ... went to baby's house downstairs ... he wanted to drag me up but i don't want then ended up with a little tiff .. but it's alright now ... his mother gave me sweets which he passed to me later on ... so i msged his mum:" thanks auntie for the sweets but kar kit eat finish already ... cause he jealous then he doesn't wanna give me any .." his mummy replied:" you are welcome ... i'll cane him when he comes home ... " wahahaha ... sabotage accomplished !!!!!!!!!!!

keep teasing baby on the mrt until he bth lols .. then reached bugis at about 6.40pm *whoops very late ... then played initial d until we all were late for the fireworks display ... but as we walked along bugis street, we saw some la ... then walked all the way to esplanade dunno for what ... that's where all the commotion began ... lazy to type out also haha ... then went to a place like some set-up market ... ordered oyster omelette for $5 ... so expensive can ... waited very long, and it definitely tastes AWFUL !!! the oil makes the whole thing so soggy ... so much of fats seep out when u chew it ... ewwwwwwwwwww ... wasted my money ... then we sat there for an hour plus don't know for what so me and hubby sneaked away, we told them we were going home but we went other places haha .. then went back at 11plus ... took a very long shower then here i am =p

no fireworks in reality but fireworks in my heart =) slowly being able to accept baby and forget the other ... hope so bah .. don't wish to remember people who don't love me anymore ... if he loves me, he would have came back to get me long long ago yeah ??? so why harp over things ???

xiaolynn's tired from all the walking

' SHATTERED <3>
8/10/2006 12:25:00 AM

hmmmmmmmm ....... today was just great !!!!!!!!!! wahahaha ... very nice ...

it was national day celebration in school ... we had loads of visitors ... from international schools, cedar pri and ju eng home ... the foreigners were cool ... it's amazing how they made a simple slide presentation so interesting ... i think staff of bowen secondary need to go for an exchange course on "HOW TO CAPTIVATE YOUR AUDIENCE" wahahaha ... some were handsome and pretty ... very but not extremely ... considering the standards of singaporean man, it may not be surprising to see many of our school's girls going crazy over them ... taking a thousand and one pictures with them ... blowing them a million kisses ahaha .... cedarians and ju eng home elderly were relatively quiet so did not communicate much with them ... the primary school kids were quite engrossed in the programme ... it's soooo darn easy to entertain young ones haha ... but just an advice to them: bowen is not what you seen to be, we don't have such fun everyday ... so don't be deceive wahaha ... bad-mouthing my own school ... i do like bowen by itself but when characters like kumar etc comes in, it just spoils the whole picture ...

after all, i didn't get mesmerized by any ang morhs, that's 1 point for you baby =)

today darling came to fetch me from school ... 1st time =) hehe, so happy ... then went to coffeeshop to eat to tomato sauce noodle =( *pengs went home then after that to the rooftop again haha ... nice hangout place ... lols ... then played "upside down" things haha ... went to yishun later on ... initial d all the way ... went KFC to eat ... both blur people didn't check our wallets before we bought our food haha ... short of a dollar ... luckily wei jie was there ... thank him =) then eat eat eat, played the barney song, cracked some lame jokes ... everybody laughed together at each other, then me and baby went to blk925 to look for benny, rui ming, nono and somebody i dunno ... then play play play, took some idiotic photos then went up to timezone again ... nono and wei jie broke records ... congrats ... then went home ...

took mrt cause baby's bus fare very ex .. was really tired that i slept on baby standing !!!!!!!! haha ... then kept teasing him ... lalala haha ... went to rooftop for a little while before i went home ... now going to already, if not darling's gonna scold me ... nights every one =)

xiaolynn smiles ...

' SHATTERED <3>
8/09/2006 12:32:00 AM

today, i'm feeeeeellliiiiiiinnnnnngggggggggggggggg sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wahahaha ... one of the most unforgetable moments ... haha ...

everything started off with a bad day in school .. then after school went home, met baby then went to yishun for a pathetic dinner and ice kachang haha ... at 1st we bought chocolate ice kachang as i never ate that before, and was wondering how it exactly tastes like ... but 1st mouth i took was weird ... and it becomes weird and sweet ... finally i couldn't stand it ... i asked baby to finish that while i ate another dessert ... which was even SWEETER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nowdays sugar free-of-charge huh ??? then ate half of it and wasted the rest =p

went back to hougang then there were people sitting at our usual place ... BOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~ so we went up to the rooftop ... so cooling !!! just that it may feel like everyone's watching you from their flats haha ... then spent some real sweet times hehe ... *hush .. after that i felt like eating ice cream so went to buy ... bought newpaper too but have yet to read it wahahaha ... nth much le ...

baby: never ever forget today =) tomorrow too hehe =p muacks

xiaolynn smooches you !!!!!!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
8/07/2006 10:34:00 PM

hmmmmmmmm .... today went to my big uncle's house to pray to my ah ma ... then suddenly got very emo, i've never seen her before but i just miss her, don't know why ...

after that actually wanted to buy the mickey mouse stuff then meet hubby but decided not to cause need to budget ... then no have jacket also haha ... but to my luck, eugene msged me and said that bugis got mickey mouse tops on discount wahahaha ... at first me and baby went to nee soon central communittee centre ... is it central or what ??? studied there ... it was very very hot can ... then ended up, we couldn't get our brains to work ... didn't solve a single question of relative velocity ... cannot do coursework also cause i brought the wrong notes ... lols ... so we made our way to north point ... hehe...

played alot of initial d today ... broke records ... then played tekken too, but i surely suck at it wahahaha .... then got quite bored ... as we walked outta the arcade, we banged into jun long ... he look so stern then hubby keep tiao him wondering what happened ... haha ... then we walked around the whole of northpoint, almost every shop haha ... but didn't buy anything ... no $$$$ =( but i already aimed some cute cute stuff haha ... but i won't tell him if he'll starve just to buy them for me ... my heart will ache one u know ???? haha ...

met my godfather and mummy at north point also ... lols ... took the same bus back ... i fell asleep ...when baby woke me up to get off the bus, they were already gone lols ... what a pig am i haha ... nothing else le ... blog till here ba ...

xiaolynn punishes sQ >.<

' SHATTERED <3>
8/06/2006 09:13:00 PM

lalala ... today actually wanted to go back to my pri school at around 1plus but dragged until about 3 plus wahahaha .. met up with mr lim, mdm chong, mrs fong, mrs chan and of course mr devin ... wahahah ... mr lim suaned me for being the shortest, mdm chong's having her 2nd child, mrs chan still as pretty as ever,mrs fong still look young(she's 60plus alrdy) mr devin, same!!!!! still holding canes haha ...

other than teachers, of course my clique when i was still small then ... wan yi, my daughter, jeslyn my daughter too ... shi qi a friend friend, phyllinda my sister ... jeslyn so slim now !!! jealous, i mean she was always slim la, but she look so chio now wahahaha ... she's my ex's sister haha small small world .. come to think of that, i find it quite funny ... i didn't realise that my ex same pri school as me until he told me who's his sister, who was the one who sat beside me in the past lols ...

there was many many things going on in seng kang ... so play play abit, walk walk, took some photos then went to compass point to meet alex and jun long ... wahahha ... they waited soooooooooooooooo long ... lalala ... went to atrium, play initial ... then after that actually want go eat liao, then so many people haven't finish playing ... then got so pissed off, waited very very long ... after about an hour or so, we went KFC and raided the whole area as there were 17 of us ... lols very big grp eh ??? couldn't find my nail polish at face shop sp went down to atrium had a few more games then went home ...

before i forget, mr lim gave sq a name called "ah zhu" !!!! wahahaha ...

xiaolynn smiles ...

' SHATTERED <3>
8/05/2006 11:13:00 PM

hmmmm lemme see ... today had a-math and e-math vectors test, flung it, i suppose ... physics did some kuku experiment ... english was ok as we kept changing classrooms as there was a venue crash due to exmainations ... ended up in the performer's lab ... the guys kept playing with the curtains so me and wee nee was like a lil unhappy ... cause to the performing arts grp, we treasure this room and the things inside alot, so was afraid they might spoil something ... after 4 years of staging, of course we had developed feelings for our own art grp .. i miss choir >.<

after school i went home ... fixed the com for so long until i was late ... sorry bro ... went to jurong point .. meet jun long, benny, rui ming, yong shun, eugene, leonard, ivan and his gf ... play play play, ate KFC ... benny went back 1st then me, junlong, yong shun and rui ming went to alex's house ... broke the chain for that period of time ... talked to alex and jun long about some things ... their replies tell me that i'm still in the right state of mind, doing the right things, so i wasn't doing wrong things after all ... now i don't know what to do, i just don't feel like bothering about anything, i wanna be happy .. carefree, do my own things, chase my own dreams ... perhaps that's who am i ???

had a wonderful day today ... thanks guys =) for bringing the smiles on my face ... had a great laugh today haha thanks to jun long ... actually i was the one who said stupid things to make myself laugh, but his expression was really *toot* lols ...

shall blog till here ... goodbye :)

xiaolynn lalalala

' SHATTERED <3>
8/04/2006 10:22:00 PM

EXPLICIT CONTENT BELOW !!!!
STRICTLY FOR ADULTS ABOVE 21 YEARS OF AGE !!!
PEOPLE OF AGES UNDER 18 MUST SEEK PARENTAL CONSENT BEFORE SCROLLING DOWN !!!

having some blardie cramps ... YES !!! menses, the biologic term for it ... giddy, headache, nauseos and whatever ... sounds as if i'm pregnant but i'm just giving birth to tons of blood !!!!!!!! feeling disgusting right now so try to tolerate with me ... my friend told me:" you know hor, today i pang sai then my *toot* form a heart shape in the toilet bowl, perhaps it's the signal that i'll fall in love soon ..." such a dumbass ... wahhaha ... perhaps, you should notice and observe what your bowels tell you everyday ... then may strike 4-D =.=" sotmach's hurting sooooo much now ... no panadol at home =( don't know why my left hand keeps trembling ... now having difficulties typing ... it's always like that when i have emotional upsot ... nvm off to sleep ... ciao ...

xiaolynn bleeds and bleeds

' SHATTERED <3>
8/03/2006 11:37:00 PM

When the string breaks, everything comes to an end... so never pull it to hard nor test my patience ...

i feel that i've already been very patient with u but u seem to take it for granted ... the more i give in hoping for a change, things turns out even worse ... the number of times a smile has to be "pasted-on" drastically increased ... why am i such an unhappy old hag ??? shouldn't i be happy like others who have got their love one to shower love and care on them ??? why am i not like them ??? why do i feel the stress and tiredness of having to take care and maintain everything with my own hands ??? i'm also human ... i get tired ... when is it your turn to help me hold the falling sky ??? i feel like i'm gonna let go pretty soon ...

i'm such an ass

' SHATTERED <3>
8/03/2006 08:58:00 PM

i know i always oversound myself and the main thing is, i always do it when you don't feel like it ... but when i don't feel like it, u do it too, so what makes u better to go around gossiping about almost everyone ??? if you haven't realise, u already unintentionally backstabbed many people causing everyone to dislike them ... if u decided to treat me with prejudice, then go ahead, i don't give a damn ... but don't have to loud hail whatever i told you cause it's NOYB ... and i don't need god's blessings to maintain what's that's mine .. what is mine will be mine, what will not, will never be even if there's a million of gods and angels blessing me ... keep your crude remarks to yourself and continue stabbing in front or back if you want, i leave it to everyone to judge for themselves as they'll one day realise, you have talked bad abt everyone except yourself ...

hiyah ... don't spoil my mood ... feeling kinda low already so don't make it worse ... today was a very sleepy day for me .. slept in many many lessons ... still got physics after school =( damned ... went home meet baby and slacked wahahaa ... did nothing much then went home already ... gonna chiong coursework after i blog, that is if i manage to discipline myself ... haha ... go blog another bloggie already ... bye peeps ..

xiaolynn *bish*bang*boom*

' SHATTERED <3>
8/02/2006 09:06:00 PM

tee hee ... didn't blog yesterday cause was darn lazy ... today our school had some japanese visitors ... they not very enthu as they got bored with our school's lousy performance i guess wahahaha ... during PE, we had floorball again ... haha very fun but i got whacked by many many sticks lols ... long time since i played games ... miss captain ball time wahaha ...badminton too ...
ryan saw my scars during eng lesson ... told me not to do i agn, alrights =) i'll try wahahaha ... feeling rather moody ... during the conversation thing, me, laoni,si jie, ryan and steve faking in front of teacher all the way ... didn't practice, just crapped ...

later maybe will be meeting baby ... if can release early ...but this few days, baby seems weird but nvm ... i still love him =)

actually, i'm now in C&T homeroom .... supposed to do coursework .. blog another day =p

xiaolynn is unwanted

' SHATTERED <3>
8/01/2006 01:00:00 PM