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Jolynn Chew Wen Yu
Ngee Ann Poly (ECH)
She loves to gossip, but when she doesn't talk, don't force her
She's trying to be nice, don't make her turn nasty
She's not someone you will deem as CHIO, but don't try to put her down
She has very low self-esteem.

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good hair days
good-looking people DUH !!!
japanese food !!!
singing
chilling out (depends on company la)
<3s that him who doesn't love me

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February 2006
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some thoughts are running claustrophically through my mind ...

i feel guilty, yet i can't find the crime i committed ..
i feel soft-hearted, but it's too late for me to turn back ...
i wanna stand up, but something's pushing me down ...

AM I CONDEMNED ???

i have this very suffocating feeling that i'm a great sinner ... i feel like i've hurt the person who love me most but yet when i thought of the hurt also inflicted on me, i felt like i'm gonna regret all my life ... perhaps i really will ... for not treasuring what i had .. what exactly am i thinking or feeling ???

should i or should i not ?? is it right for me to do it ??? should i trust something that has happened almost overnight ??? should i habour the hope that it'll sustain a long time ???

on the 9th of june ..
everything was over ... yet i'm still feeling it going on in me ... on this very day, the world came crashing on me ... but everything was different ... it wasn't like the previous heartbreaks i had ... i could still put up a strong front for many people ... though the pain wasn't as excruciating that i couldn't even take it in the day ... but a feeling that i've lost something that i'll regret losing in the future injects into my heart and it keeps pounding there ... it wasn't the love ... but perhaps the gap ... i had wished everything never started ... i loved the way it was 2 yrs ago .. when you could be trusted so greatly ... when i knew you'll always listen to me troubles ... when i bravely entrusted all my secrets in you ..

that was the time when feelings need not be hid ... where everything was just so natural and true ... maybe remaining as friends would have do us better ... but now it's too late ... perhaps being a couple makes one's mind stressed up .. therefore, actions, behavior and words would no longer be true so as to accomodate each other point of view ...

if one were to put somebody in top priority, what would it be like ??? will money, fame and sucess overwrite it ??? i asked myself:" have i ever been an important person to someone whom i think is most important to me ??" the answer is a no. because i haven't found a person who love me that much to do so.

after crapping so much ...

conclusion: to love is to be natural ... ppl who hides themselves or are not natural will lose their love one day .. because when everything about you is suddenly revealed one day, you become a different person, not somebody that i'll ever love again ...

my heart's pondering ... should i move on ??? should i accept what's offered to me ??? will i regret letting him go ?? will he be the one who brings me out of darkness ?? or will he be the one who makes my world darker ???

guys .. i have so many questions and doubts ...

one last question ...

AM I SIMPLY GOING BONKERS ??? OR HAVE I ALREADY GONE BERSERK ???

xiaolynn faints ###

' SHATTERED <3>
6/11/2006 03:46:00 AM