When People Say Goodbye

today did a lil bit of shopping ... WEEEE~~~ haha ... bought a purse for myself ... and some other little stuff and accessories ... feels so good to shop again =) today eugene got me minnie mouse, thanks ... though i wanted the mickey and u refused to give wahahaha ... my mother actually wanted to get me the mickey mouse shirt and jacket =( booooooo ....

went yishun to find baby later ... played initial d and many many other games ... broke record for cappo usui left dry:2,48,xxx hehe ... kind of happy .. and darling tekken character promoted to 2nd dan ... congrats !!!! won a pencil lead thru that lame 20cents game hahaha ....

waited for bus to go home at abt 7plus ... hubby wanted to acc me home but i said no cause his bus fare very expensive and he got no stamp ... my heart was saying:"sure !!! please do .." oops ... wahaha .... baby, after u read this ... my answer is still no ... no matter what, i still won't allow de =p

xiaolynn goes ding-dong !!!!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
7/30/2006 10:27:00 PM

my parents are quarrelling again ... GREAT !!! greeted by nonsense at the door step of a lovely house ... a lovely environment with a monstorous beast in it ... perhaps he should just jump off and die ??? he said people cursed him ... cheated him of his money ... but never he thought what harm did he do to others ... because of the past, we cannot be nice in future ... so i suppose i'm supposed to resume my duty as a garbage bag ??? since my past is soooooo ugly i would say ... i feel like whispering in his ear:" actually i'm also cursing u ... making and oath that u will die w/o your body parts intact, so that your soul cannot come back to make trouble .."

god created us for a purpose ... doctors to cure, teachers to teach ... but perhaps, he made a mistake around 4 decades ago, and that was to bring my father into this astounding world and let him degrade it ...

xiaolynn curses him

' SHATTERED <3>
7/29/2006 11:52:00 PM

i miss those nights .. where i get to walk some distance home alone .. i get to think clearly and to feel things better ... to observe more about what's happening around .. to catch up with what i've missed out these speeding times ... it seems like all those feelings have swipe me of my freedom to experience and noticed every little bit of life ... those lovey-dovey that blinded me from appreciating other beautiful things .. i don't want to be owned, i don't want to just look up at the same sky, i wanna fly free and scale to great heights ..

i miss those times where i could walk at my own speed and feel the air being much fresher ... i just miss those times where i was all alone to admire the beauty that going on all around me ...

perhaps after this period of "oh-so-busy" life, i will miss my own sanctuary soooo much, but when u decided to share it with someone, there's just a part of it that you'll never get it back again ...

this is perhaps how i'm feeling ... the past few days or rather weeks ... i wish to go on a holiday myself, enjoy the scenery and buy anything i want ... or even stop over at a place for as long as i want to spent time with myself ... i think i've been far too busy fussing around others that i forgot all about myself ... maybe it's time for me to nourish myself, my own world .. and never let stupid urbanisation lifestyle eat it up ... i don't know if there's still space in me, but i'll try to contain whoever i can ...

xiaolynn miss herself *weird feelings coming over me

' SHATTERED <3>
7/28/2006 10:34:00 PM

stupid !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i sprained my damned hand today !!!!!!!!!!! so painful that i can't even bend ... actually not blogging de, but last minute just decided to type a few sentences haha ... perhaps, paragraphs ??? lols ..

today huh ... quite slack in school ... then met hubby for movie ... watching movies can hurt your arms ... now i know x))) then went for dinner with baby, ri ming and benny ... after bought my bandage, and home sweet home =)

that's all, short eh ??

xiaolynn says "ouch !!"

' SHATTERED <3>
7/27/2006 09:37:00 PM

wahahhaa ... happy day =) took MC for the day cause was kinda sick ya ... so went back to sleep until 1plus ... then hubby msged me, so bath then went to meet him ... bought herbal tea and went ... arcade haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but today so weird ... have not taken any particular interest in any games today haha ..

played a few rounds then took mrt to kovan to meet my mum ... go see doctor take MC =) went hougang mall to walk walk again then go house downstairs =)

xiaolynn sniffs sniffs

' SHATTERED <3>
7/26/2006 08:44:00 PM

wahahaha ... actually wanted to blog during f&n but the internet was not working no choice ... typed the whole chunk yet cannot publish ... boo~~~~

didn't meet hubby yesterday so we talked on the phone until 5plus i went to sleep ... then woke up at 11plus ... baby called ... yack yack yack until about 1plus ??? slept a little and woke up at 5plus again ... haha ... irregular hours ... went to school ... i really prayed hard this morning ... 1st day of opening of the hell gates ... so scary ... then when i left the house, i kept chanting prayers ... lols ... msged darling but i guess he was still asleep ...

i actually went to school early to complete maths ... but i only realised that i didn't bring the textbook to school =.= the way to school was so eerie ... very dark, nobody around except for the usual sweeper every morning ... then there is this slope with alot of paper money along it ... walking thru it seems like walking into hell which is my school =p wahahaha ....

lesson was ok but i'm kinda sick now ... considering taking MC tomorrow bahx ... i think i should be able to meet baby tomorrow cause not going to visit my grandfather =( hope he's feeling better ...

going to bath already, take care ... that's all for today =)

xiaolynn types, types, and type !!!

' SHATTERED <3>
7/25/2006 03:59:00 PM

hmmmm ... what do i have to say ??? once again .. F*** the internet connection yesterday haha ...

it's orh ni ku's birthday on the 23rd ... happy belated birthday =) old already huh ??? so this orh ni ku, called me around 2 plus to go hougang mall .. so me and sq went ... did nth much just playing and eating loads of stuff ... i ate yam pie, then chicken cube rice, pocky stick(the big big one), cartwheel biscuits, fox crystal sweets, ice kachang and ice longan water ... that quite sumed up my diet for the day wahahaha ... what a feast ... then sent orh ni ku home around 7plus cause it's his birthday, no choice ... took a bus back to my house and spent time with baby until 9 plus ... and went home ... talked on the phone until 1plus then slept ...

from the previous source, u should infer that i woke up with dark eye rings haha .. (sounds SS ) i woke up at 4.30am to complete my maths in school thanks to orh ni ku who kept distracting me from doing my work ... #@$#%^%$##@ whole day in school was tiring but still ok ... come back home after school... took a long bath, feeling better now ... after that shall go catch my beauty sleep =) going back to msn, baby's waiting haha ...

xiaolynn dozing off *doink doink

' SHATTERED <3>
7/24/2006 04:41:00 PM

he2 yi2 ge4 bu2 hui4 zhao4 gu4 ni3 gan3 shou4 de4 ren2 zai4 yi4 qi3, ye2 xu3 shi4 yi2 jian4 hao3 shi4 ... yin1 wei4 zhe4 yang4 yi4 lai2, ni3 bu2 hui4 tai4 guo4 yi1 lai4 ta1, bu2 hui4 shi1 qu4 zi4 ji3 ...

dan4 shi4, tong2 shi2 de4, ni3 hui4 gan3 dao4 hen3 ji4 mo4, hao3 xiang4 dou1 mei2 you3 ren2 li3 hui4 ni2, zai4 hu1 ni2 de4 gan3 shou4 ... zhe4 shi4 yin1 wei4, ta1 yi3 jin1 xi2 guan4 mei2 you3 bi4 yao4 zhao4 gu4 ni3 de4 gan3 shou4 de4 shi4 shi2 le4 ... rang4 ta1 xian4 zai4 liao2 jie2 ni3 de4 hua4, you4 hao3 xiang4 hen3 wei2 nan2 ta1 ... yin1 wei4 wo3 de4 xin1 ruan3, rang4 zhe4 duan4 lian4 ai4 na4 me4 de4 xin1 ku3 ...

wo yi3 jin1 ba3 neng2 gou4 gei3 ni2 de4 yi2 qie4 dou1 jiao1 gei3 ni2 le4, dan4 shi4 ni2 neng2 gou4 wei4 wo3 zhao2 xiang3 de4 jiu4 na4 me4 duo1 ma1 ???

sorry to type in han yu pin yin, if this is in english, then it'll lose all its meaning ...

if u haven't notice, i already gave all my efforts ... make the point to go down to somewhere almost everyday, be with you and your friends ... waking up at 5am just to do the homework i did not finish yesterday ... i do this to make u happy, but u want more ... i don't know how much is enough, but nobody has any idea how much of myself have i left ... u enjoy, thinking that it's an entitlement .. but at the same time, have u ever put my feelings into consideration ?? have u ever thought of how much agony i have to put up with by faking a smile when i ain't happy at all ??? have u ever thought that i may be unhappy ?? have u make the effort to understand me ??? or maybe u have never thought of being considerate to me ... i'm sacrificing alot of my future just for u, if that isn't enough, i'm afraid u have to get it somewhere else ...

after all that i've put in, what i get is jealousy ... i tried to pamper u, but never have anyone thought of treating me nicer ... many expect me to trust them, and yet they never showed trust in me ... if u were to get jealous cause of a small thing, then think of how i feel when u did those things ??? think of how i feel when girls flirted with u ... if i can overcome that, then why can't you ??? simply cause u never controlled your feelings just for me ... i need my own stand ...

in life, people need food, shelter and clothes to live ... for example: i have food, shelter, clothes, tv and handphone ... i can give u the two others but now u are eating into my clothes or food or shelter ... i may be able to afford it now, but in no time, u will wipe out everything till it's empty ... i need to take, i really need to ...

i can't take care of your feelings like i used to do, sacrificing studying time just to meet you ... by not meeting you, i'm already hurting your feelings .. i don't know why, but everytime it seems like that ... now i can't compromise that much already, i need my space ... i can't be taking care of your feelings 24hrs anymore, u gotta be strong and not cry because of this anymore ... u have to know the fact that i really can't give anymore, i can't pamper u anymore ... u told me you wanna take care of me, but how ??? if just because i cannot meet u one day out of seven and u get hurt or be sad, then how are u going to take care of me ??? how ...... it's more like i can take care of you ... i want to but i'm really tired ... my world does not evolve around only u, that's the fact, u can't have me to yourself ... because it's my freedom u are talking about ...

hais ... after saying like 67237648972897 words, i still cannot totally express this feeling ... i'm just very tired of taking care of people ... why can't anybody let me take care and do not expect anything in return, i wanna be selfish, but just too soft hearted ... and people take me for granted ... exhausted like i am, i don't know how long more can i give, i feel like i'll let go one day very soon from now ... i dunno how long can i hold out .... i need a considerate person to take care of me ... if it's my time, let it totally be my time ... if not when i'm away, telecommunications continue to flood, then it makes me busier ... if this case, why don't we just meet up ??? save the hassle ...

AIYA !!! I REALLY DUNNO HOW TO CONVEY THIS STUPID FEELING ... GONNA BREAKDOWN IN NO TIME ... I NEED SOME AIR !!!!

XIAOLYNN BANGS THE WALL
i wanna bleed to death so that i'll never have to care anymore

' SHATTERED <3>
7/22/2006 09:53:00 PM

hmmm ... woke up kinda late today but yet not very late ... around 6.30am ??? just in time i would say ... today's mood is like not very bad but just that type of mood where you are just wanna laze about and not using your brain much ... the slack-slack mood lor ...

had 1 and 1/2 hours of math test ... keep doing the questions the wrong way ... i learn both integration and differentiation ... but when i get one correct, i'll get the other wrong ... i never seem to get both correct at the same time haha ... after that is physics ... since i don't feel like doing anything, i just talk talk to my friends and did the experiment at my slowest speed ever ... i can do it but i will do it very slow .. haha ... it's just like i'm running, but very slowly ...

was very very hungry during recess as today's recess is at 10.30am, later than usual ... ate quite a large bowl of noodles, feeling satisfied haha ... it's so nice to fill full ... then again ... i dragged my feet to boring english lessons ... and did my works very slowly too haha ... not considered slack and then do last minute work but just very slowly haha ... life's moving at a slower pace today i guess ...

after school is hubby's time so i'll blog it at the other blog ... nobody reads that blog cause it's kinda new ... so if you happen to passby, go visit it =) it's in my links ... thanks guys ...

xiaolynn walks slowly back to bed

' SHATTERED <3>
7/21/2006 10:31:00 PM

hmmm ... today miss piggy woke up at 5.30am ... so late can, actually intended to wake up at 5am but obviously she slept back la ... PIG !!!!!

went to school, drank strawberry milk and ate egg sandwich ... YUM YUM haha ... really like pig hor ... chemistry was 1st period lor ... after 2 years of learning chem, i still don't get what this subject is trying to teach ... every chapter like no difference ... formulaes after formulaes ... what titration or ionic precipitation ... don't get anything in my head lols ...

recently i got the rave for social studies haha ... i finally started to pay attention to mrs hee and do the class assignments, definitely not homework of course haha ... and i got 4/5 for test =) so clever right ... but then .... i didn't cite source, so became zero =(

recess didn't really eat much cause had to chiong a-math and e-math ... but still manage to finish half a ton of it ... haha ... 4 periods of maths was a little exhausting for my brain cells but was still ok ... kinematics is easy but now i find e-math difficult ... omg ... don't know what happened, i think i return my knowledge to mr yeo already haha ... my angle properties and some other kuku chapter i was absent for the lesson so i can never get full marks for maths already haha ...

physics was fine ... radioactive revision ... quite easy la ... lucky she didn't go through test paper cause half the class didn't bring or rather, didn't do ... it's a very very tough paper ... esp electricity, my worst chapter ever ... released at 1.25pm ...

quickly went home to bath then came hubby's school to meet him .... he "hiong" me into his lecture hall ... his lessons finishing in half an hr lerx ... so shall stop here bahx, try to learn something IF I CAN haha ... take care peeps ...

xiaolynn studies x)))

' SHATTERED <3>
7/20/2006 04:25:00 PM

today was really quite bad for me ... 1st of all, i'm not exactly feeling well ... secondly, i got caught by the fat fat, curly curly hair woman ... thirdly, there's loads of homework i've yet to complete ... a-maths exercise 22.1, e-math paper 1 and 2, f&n coursework b conclusion, f&n whole of coursework A, physics, blah blah blah ... HOW TO FINISH !!!! i seem to forget all about them ... last week i was mugging and stressing myself about those, but this week i can't seem to remember a thing ... but brain cells are failing me ... hais ...

met hubby ... but keep tio suan by him today ... sobs ... but just got no mood to talk back ... really tired, nope i mean extremely lethargic ... but manage to hide it abit, at least still can talk and joke ... jun long made me laugh alot and hubby's jealous !!! haha ... cause i didn't really laugh at his words ... don't jealous la ... aiyo, me and him got more to suan and say, but doesn't mean anything ok ??? just like what you said:" there may be pretty girls and handsome guys out there, but i'll only love you .. " don't think too much alright ??? and please do take care of yourself ... you everyday at least half day will complain stomach pain or what de ... hais ... don't ever starve yourself can ... i pain also never pain until like that lor ... if you don't take care of yourself then i'll take care of you, and i mean full care, by that time don't you dare complain x)))

and also, i'll like to say thanks to his parents, nice present =) long time since i received one haha ... thanks a million ...

xiaolynn drags herself to bed *yawns
17o6 9.23pm

' SHATTERED <3>
7/19/2006 09:25:00 PM

hehe ... today woke up at 6am ... went to school, waited for gaya till 7am .. hurried to the toilets, wear sari bacause it's racial harmony day celebration ... had a long long assembly then went back to class ... miss suan's not here today ... so slacked till about PE time ... that sickening teacher don't wanna let us off ... what's the point of asking people to stay in the hall when we can't even play any games in traditional costumes ??? nvm ... if kelvin lim was there, it may have been worse ...

whole day was kinda slack and bored ... so after school went home to bath then went to visit ah gong at NUH ... today ah gong looks better, talking more in fact quite alot haha ... happy for him ... hope he gets well soon ...

couldn't meet baby ... miss him soooo much ... but today keep suaning him over the phone >.<>

xiaolynn dwells off

' SHATTERED <3>
7/18/2006 10:32:00 PM

today i woke at like 5 am ??? gosh ... so darn tired can ... but had no choice because there are tons of math homework to finish ...

had mother tongue lesson and that adjunct teacher relief us as mr soo was not in school ... the whole class was like disturbing her, kinda bad la, but who ask her so OUTSTANDING lols ... if you think that i'm talking about somebody who has montrous figure and sexy lips, she may never be the one i'm talking about haha ... i guess she's about 60 plus years of age anyway =p

during geography lesson, i found out that my content for humanities sucked, i felt the need to mug but where's the form ??? i seem to be still dwelling in my games and of course my love life ... i haven't seem to get out of the sticky situation and start studying ... how dare me !!! ........................... wondering when will i really start revision or rather revisiting the chapters ...

english lesson as usual was very boring for me ... did comprehension again ... weather was very humid so i was like 1% awake when i did the questions ??? the exercise must be in a mess but i don't care =)

maths very slack ... suan mr yeo because he kenna car accident WAHAHAHA seems like bad luck seeking him this month ... got back math test: 35/55 at least didn't fail ... there is this transformation question which had some problem so he didn't mark .... wasted so much time doing, didn't check other question .. that explains it all ...

listening compre sucked the hell of everything !!!! reported at like 1.45pm ... waited outside for the whole half an hr, inside the examination room for another half an hr listening to symphonies, then drifted to lalaland ... did Q9 wrongly ... wasted but shan't brood over it anymore ... cannot keep crying over split milk right ??? hope that chinese grades don't turn out as bad as i expect it to be ... *prays

after school i went home, doll up a tiny weeny bit then off to meet hubby ... today's our 1st month anniversary =) went northpoint ... eat, play ... nothing much today cause had school ... but still very happy ... don't know why haha ... seem to be in high spirits today wakakaka ....

shall go catch some sleep ... real tired can ... anyway again,

HAPPY 1ST MONTH BABY =)

MUACKS ...

xiaolynn orh orh liao zzzzzzzzzz

' SHATTERED <3>
7/17/2006 08:56:00 PM

HAPPY 1ST MONTH DARLING !!!!

haha blogging in your favourite colour and the biggest fonts =) i love you ~~~~ wahaha ..

hope we will chang chang jiu jiu, bai tou dao lao !!!! muacks =p

xiaolynn loves you !!!
no one but you !!!
yes you !!!
sQ the rusty legend !!!
no la, sQ my darling hehe

xiaolynn going talking on the phone with you =)
17o6 9.23pm
(tsk, you still don't know what i typing =x)

' SHATTERED <3>
7/17/2006 12:27:00 AM

better blog now in case tomorrow don't have connection .. then hubby will complain again lols ..

1st of all, i wanna wish my baby an ...

HAPPY 1ST MONTH ANNIVERSARY

WAHAHAHA ... so fast a month has passed ... many many things happened ... things do get outta track at times but baby's always there to pull them back for me =) thanks ... today in the bus, baby did a review of the memories when we had just got together ...the memories at atrium blah blah blah everywhere lols ... thinking of those, a thin strand of sweetness melted my heart >.<

i told hubby that i seem to be loving him in the shadow of her ... now i decided that i shall be myself ... and will not compromise any of my principles and characteristics to make them feel better ... because i know that those efforts weren't appreciated ... so in future, you girls don't expect me to put on a nice face in front of you, cause i guess you all know i don't really like it too ... the way yout reat people is just ... incorrigible .. wahahaha ... that's a tit-for-tat =p

nevermind ... hahaha ... today's a happy day, don't let unnecessary people spoil my mood lols ... woke up darn late today, hubby called a few times then i woke up... sorry ... went to meet darling and bought OCK .. bao bei was laughing at me for eating the same thing all the time ... haha ... but i also never noticed ... went to void deck but don't seem to have the mood to do homework today ... i was just complaining about the weather when the ice-cream man came hehe .. after much bargaining with baby, i finally can put a stop to those stupid assignments and go north point to play ... wahahaha ...

riming swayed into the arcade with my favourite food: SUSHI !!! *slurps of course i couldn't resist that temptation ... appetite today is very very good ok ... after that still have KFC ... i told hubby:" must ren !!! " but then, a second later i said:" aiyah, zou la, shou bu liao le " so hubby laughed again haha ... if you think KFC is the end of everything, then you are thoroughly wrong wahaha ... another round of OCK !!!! gonna put on many many pounds already haha ...

darling was a bad boy today .. oops ... he wasn't feeling well, but he still sent me home ... BOO~~~~ wahahha ... but if not for this trip home, we wouldn't have recalled those memories ... though it was a rather silent trip, but i believe we both have our feelings to cope with inside haha .. it's like a simple yet special time for us ??? haha ... i like this type of moments la but of course it doesn't come that often if not then it's not significant liao ...

when i reached home, took a long long bath ... smiling like an idiot all the way haha ... then darling thought i didn't wanna reply him ... he waited so long ... poor thing haha ... then when i on the computer, i surfed and forgot to CALL HIM !!! oh no ... i received his message and quickly dialled that hotline of his haha ... so quick that i may have broke the world record, exaggerating i know ... i'm now on the phone with baby, so yeah ... BYE BYE !!!! haha

xiaolynn smiles like an idiot !!!

' SHATTERED <3>
7/16/2006 09:22:00 PM

didn't blog this few days cause the very stupid connection don't have ... bleahs =p

dear not feeling well the past few days =( backache, stomache everywhereache =( don't know what's wrong sia ... but be something wrong with his eyes and stomach ... i guess ...

fri met dear and him .. which is jason ... passed him some things ... can see that he has moved on very well, so ya, all the best lor ... i guess all i need to do now is to love my darling not looking back at the past and brooding over it ...then went to play then went home quite late lor ... bluff my bao bei say i going to sleep but actually wanna write a letter to him haha ... paiseh >.<

today intended to celebrate our 1st month earlier ... dear came hougang to find me ... took neoprints then went down to atrium ...hiyah then everything went kinda ding-ding-dong-dong ... shan't elaborate but sorry dear >.<>

xiaolynn feels ding-ding-dong-dong

' SHATTERED <3>
7/15/2006 11:44:00 PM

i finally woke up on time today wakaka ... that's why i'm happy ... and i guess this is the reason why i'm using baby's fav colour to blog haha ...

today is thursday which means slack day ... because 1st period is chemistry then followed by social studies ... so can sleep all the way but i didn't .. both teachers gave alot of free time today ... but they should have given it on other days ... only give it when i don't feel like sleeping =( booo ~~~

during recess i actually intended not to eat as i've already eaten breakfast ... need some weight control ya ... but er jie said she was very hubgry so off we went to eat ... and there goes my diet haha ... my diet never lasts for more than a month ... maths was ok but the topic taught sucked ... a few trainee teachers came in to kua kua then off to physics ... physics was tough ... racked my brains alot as i have a weak foundation for physics ... perhaps almost the whole class do ..

after school went home to bath then headed to north point, our rendevous(forgot how to spell) .. watched "re-cycle" quite touching yet scary but i don't quite get the ending ... my heart beat so fast lols ... i hugged baby and found out that his was faster =x met my kor kor and rui ming(shares the same name as my name>.<) went to long john to eat though i wasn't hungry ... fatter by the day wakakaka ... actually wanted a buy a packet of 6 correction tapes but need to budget so only bought one to test out ... but buying one not worth it la ... 1 for $2.60, 6 for $8.90 ... hais nvm ... will get it soon ...

when we were about to reach home, we were playing our final rounds of games, i suddenly felt nauseous and giddy ... couldn't breathe properly probably cause of some problems i have ... then hubby was so sweet ... he sent me all the way home by cab ... in the end he still paid for it =( go my house i pay ok ??? baby no more next time ar ...

now reach home le ... don't really feel better but wait till sat then go my uncle house and see what he can do about ba ... meanwhile i just recalled that we have f&n coursework part b planning ... and i have not read up the context yet ... die ... nvm, if i flung coursework then i'll absent myself for the written paper ... just enjoy practical haha .. good luck to me ~~~

xiaolynn loves sQ bits and pieces =)

' SHATTERED <3>
7/13/2006 09:15:00 PM

in the morning, miss blur looked out of the window and thought:" it looks like the rain will stop in no time .. " so she went to prepare for school ..when going out, she felt for her handphone in her bag but couldn't find it so she yelled:" MUM, HELP ME TAKE MY MOBILE PHONE PLEASE !!!" 5 mins later, she then realised that her dear phone was hiding in a dark corner among her books .. =.=" the moment she step out of the shelter of her void deck, the tears of heaven started dropping on her ... she thought:" nvm, it's just a drizzle.. " ( it was definitely not a drizzle ) today, miss blur feels that she can go through every storm just like how she dreamt herself to be, and in the end, got herself a running nose and fever throughout the day ...

when she reached school, she really needed hot coffee, so she bought a cup and tried to gulp it down, as expected, she scalded her tongue ... silly her ...slept during many many lessons, until a-math period ... people in her class were watching madagascar while she read her storybook in the dark making her eyesight worse than ever ...

after school she wanted to go find her dearie when her kor kor msged her to say that when she reach NP msg him not dearie ... she was wondering what were they up to ... so she just quickly made her way down to yishun and then find out that some old hag had taken her baby's cell phone when he forgotten to take it with him after a game ... it was just less than a few seconds and it was gone ... couldn't find her already ... so miss blur was informed that her darling went to the NPC to make a report ...

after a long wait of 3 hours, baby appeared at the coffeeshop where miss blur and friends were eating ... dearie looks ok, so miss blur felt relieved ... went to alex's house, and slept on darling's lap while the rest played computer and playstation ...hope his leg didn't break >.< later i forgot to bring home my ring ="( but will collect from baby tmr ...

just now in msn, darling told miss blur something that really touched her heart ... so miss blur now says:" baby, will you be mine ??? not for now but forever .." =p

xiaolynn loves you, the rusty legend =x

' SHATTERED <3>
7/12/2006 09:19:00 PM

woke up darn late today ... but nvm ... can sneak in lols ... today the school advisory committee chairman came so it's like some big event or what, councillors wore blazers, kumar rushing around playing an extra role .. in the end, all that happened during assembly was prize-giving session ... the chairman's opening speech was something to do with puberty and adulthood =.= no link right ... i know it's youth day but nvm ...

had PE ... played captain's ball and badminton ... very fun =) long time never sweat it out already ... it kinda relieve my stress ... eng as usual boring but f&n was fun ... however, miss quek's really disgusting !!!! sumayah threw away a bundle of mint leaves into a bin where we throw away the dirty stuff ... then stupidly miss quek went to pick it up and kept it ... eeksss ... her students will end up in hospital one day ... *pukes

after school i went home to bath then headed to hospital to visit my grandfather cause he just had a bypass sugery ... he's becoming more and more skinny =( hope he recovers real soon ... i miss him ...

now baby's on the phone with me .. helping me to check the movies .. he is like telling me:" most of the movies you can't watch .. " grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr suan me huh ...

xiaolynn's feeling ding-dong

' SHATTERED <3>
7/11/2006 09:25:00 PM

today was kinda like ...plain ??? woke up early as usual ... went school, tried to do a-math and finished less than 3 questions ... wonderful ... eng was really boring but couldn't sleep ... geog was worse ... c&t very slack, dismissed early ... thinking of absenting myself for the written paper in nov ... nvm ... will consider more ...

met baby at his school around 5pm ... went to library to study ... thought baby how to do calculus then read abit about f&n ... that's all .. went to amk funland there de coffeeshop to makan then went home already ...

actually today i still feel quite down but it's for a diff reason ... but i guess i'll be ok soon ... off to catch some sleep ... take care guys ...

jason, good luck for your seminar, hope you'll get your promotion, if not i'll laugh =x joking la ..

xiaolynn waves goodbye

' SHATTERED <3>
7/10/2006 08:52:00 PM

YEAH !!! finally got a re-vamp for my bloggie =) the credits goes to .....................................................................................MR YANdAO aka sQ who is my darling of course =)

thanks a million to my baby x))) muacks

' SHATTERED <3>
7/09/2006 11:41:00 PM

perhaps you love me,
but i was never the most special one ...
perhaps you loved me,
but i'm not the one you wanna protect ..

i don't like outstanding people, but i love people who bothers to understand me .. perhaps time will wash the pain away, and bring our hearts back together ... i want a natural and comfortable love that i may never get ..

xiaolynn is ... erm .. dunno ... heart aching ???

' SHATTERED <3>
7/09/2006 10:10:00 PM

feeling a little down today ... found out that people don't understand me at all ... sometimes i also blame myself for being so complicated ... spent most of the day staring in a daze, thinking of that beautiful past ... but of course i know i have to refrain from going back already ... i don't like people to ask me if i'm alright, i expect people who knows me to be able to sense it ... that's how irritating i can be ... demanding and selfish bitch ...

sometimes i just throw my temper at him, thinking that i'll never love him anymore, i don't need him ... but a day or two later, i start to think of how he feels, and start to worry he's gonna leave me forever ... that's how much i don't know how to treasure ... that's also why i lost every precious things in my damned life ..

nevermind ... hope i'll get over him real soon cause i really need to cherish who i have now .. i don't wanna lose anyone even if they aren't important ... everyone makes a difference, i can't afford to lose anymore ... perhaps this fool will never learn what is "treasure" ... *sighs ..

*// tears are rolling
xiaolynn misses everyone that has/once stepped out of her life ...

' SHATTERED <3>
7/09/2006 09:05:00 PM

wakakaka ... today made baby wait so long for me >.< sorry ... yesterday he pestered me to sleep early and i said:"aiya, sure can wake up de la .." today, i woke up and realized it was already 12pm x))))

went to balestier to pray then ate at the HDB hub that basement food court ... the food sucks can !!! then met my darling and went to jurong point ... waited so long for lance k, but in the end never get him drunk ... =( today dear see me play initial until so engrossed then quietly put one more token for me, think i never realise haha .. you the blur ar ... but nvm, KFC pays the bill =))) oops haha =p

then mickey and norad kept making racist jokes lols ... ate and laugh at the same time, now feel so darn bloated ... *burps =x just came back from uncle's house .. sleeping soon ... ciao !!!!

xiaolynn burps =p

' SHATTERED <3>
7/08/2006 11:52:00 PM

when can you ever forsake money for friendship ... when can u not be blinded by it ... is it really that worth losing your friends and love ones because of money ??? you have no idea how fortunate you are .. you have family warmth others do not ... you have everything you want, but you bite the man that actually gave u everything your life, your soul whatever ... my father give me a life to torture me, but not yours ... for goodness sake, treasure your family, stop wanting to prove them wrong ... it just sucks to see this happening ... if i had chance, i would wanna be you instead of me, cause you never know how lucky you are ...

feeling so blue now ... why am i trying knock sense into people when i'm stupid enough myself ... xiaolynn is a blardie fool !!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
7/07/2006 04:14:00 PM

I HATE YOU !!! EMPTY PROMISES !!!! DARN IT !!!!

FRIENDS MEANS NOTHING ALREADY ... YOU NEVER APPRECIATED THE EFFORTS PEOPLE PUT IN JUST FOR YOU ... TAKE EVERYTHING FOR GRANTED, AND YOU'LL LOSE THEM ONE DAY ... MONEY SO IMPORTANT RIGHT ... REPUTATION AND FACE SO IMPORTANT HOR ... I KNOW ... IN YOUR PRIORITY LIST, FRIENDS NEVER CAME IN THE TOP 10 ... DO AS YOU DEEM FIT, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED ANYMORE ...

I HATE YOU !!! SEE THIS ??? BEAR IT IN MIND !!!! HEARTBREAKER + LIAR .. BIGGEST FOOL IN THE WORLD !!!! I'M THOROUGHLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU !!!!

STAY AWAY FROM HER NOW IF YOU DON'T WANNA DIE !!!!
XIAOLYNN HATES YOU

' SHATTERED <3>
7/07/2006 04:14:00 PM

had a nice day ... school started off with a couple of good news finally after a series of lecturing everyday, today's assembly appeals to us, students more ... our softball team won anglican high 6-5 and also northland sec (i think???) 3-2 .. congrats to them =) *cheers

unfortunately, 1st period was math ... but u guys know, miracles do happen ... today is actually mr yeo's birthday but too bad for him, he was robbed in msia wahahaha ... ( i know i sound so bad haha ) i wonder how many people actually get robbed in the 1st hour of their new year of life ??? lols ... i think it's because humans are greedy ... he went msia just to save about $30 for petrol and ended up losing more than $300 ... how ironic ... but our class felt sorry for him too cause it's like IC, credit card, school pass, driving license, whatever ... all lost can !!!! poor thing .. hope he get over with it real soon ...

physics was kinda fun .. the experiment was rather easy so ended up slacking cause me and jin qin finished work in half an hour ... didn't eat much for recess surprisingly ...

why must there be eng lessons on fri !!!! on a beautiful fri, boring eng lessons should just scram ... did an information sheet ... er jie left the class halfway so the grp was only left with me and guo jing ... we both were lazy to write but i more kind, i wrote 5/8 of the essay haha ... was whining away, and guo jing was rushing me cause she don't want to stay back to finish it ... so these 2 girls handed in slipshod work .. >.< ms suan called oout for guo jing for geog assignment thingy, then suddenly all of us remembered that we haven't done it, so almost everybody ran out of the class in case ms suan made us stay back to do it ... the scene was very chaotic yet very funny haha ..

now i reach home feeling very lethargic as i have not been sleeping much the past weeks ... i'm afraid of the nightmares ... i don't want my mum to see me crying in my sleep, if not she will unintentionally probe again, and i'll lose my temper ... hais ... when will all this go away ??? i want a good night's sleep !!!!

will be meeting jason later on to pass him their presents ... hope my gan die will find me ... jason's sick, so probably not eating sushi already, see where else can we go lor ...

baby ... I MISS YOU x)))) meet you tmr ok haha ... muacks .. thanks for the r*** =p

xiaolynn's dozing off

SQ ("v") lalaland =)

' SHATTERED <3>
7/07/2006 01:13:00 PM

today huh ... hmmm ... let me think ...

went to school around 7am ... 1st lesson was chemistry ... i managed to hold out for half an hour before my head makes its way onto the table ... *snoresssss ... then after chemistry is social studies ... needless to say, slept all the way through the lesson .. but i got a feeling that i missed out alot compared to the other SS lessons ... it's like she thought something very important today ... only me and SR were sleeping, normally when the lesson's lame, almost 3/4 of the class will sleep ... other lessons went on pretty well and we were dismissed at 1.30pm ...

went home, bathed and met baby at house downstairs .. took a bus and went to Toa Payoh ... today me and team had an urgent meeting ... so now i have to teach 2 people to play my map ... which is my bro and mervin ... but they are no slower than me can, also nothing to teach, they will catch up pretty soon la ... i'm inactive soon so nvm, let my bro take over me and learn mroe for the time being ... just hope that i still can catch up with him after o levels haha ...

DEAR:

today you gave me something ... i open already, but don't dare to tell you cause i kinda shy about it haha ... it's really so nice of you =) not like me, haven't given you any hand-written letters or what de ... don't worry, i won't depression tmr de, i can control already ... i've already began to love you more than you think i do ... i'm slowly adapting and accepting things, so don't worry about him, we'll just be good friends cause i know that you love me and i promised you tot ry, so i will mark my words and put in more effort de .. i don't want you to love me for nothing ... these days i spent with you flashed passed, time really passes ... it's about 3weeks but it feels like 3 days ??? haha ... the memories will always be kept safely in me ... thanks for always being there for me when i'm down ... thanks for sacrificing your agony to see me happy ... you told me on the 15th of june that even if we are not together, you will still be my very good friends and be there for me ... you still will take care of me till i found another one ... but now, i chose you, no one else, not even him ... i don't regret at all, it's just that i will need time to come out of that love .. you may be different from him but you are never inferior to him ... you are who you are and i will love you for the way you are ... i love you darling ... muacks .. =)

xiaolynn's pondering

' SHATTERED <3>
7/06/2006 10:16:00 PM

today is chi oral ... and everything just wasn't fine ... got sore throat just before oral started, too heaty perhaps ... then got tongue-tied ... with an additional of a few words of singlish, jolynn's guaranteed a fail =)

met baby, broke no records ... was very tired .. went home, sleep ...

that's all for today ... so boring cause i'm too tired to pay attention to things ... meeting baby tmr, yeah =)

xiaolynn peng san already

' SHATTERED <3>
7/05/2006 09:11:00 PM

well ... tomorrow's chi oral ... and i'm like:" really arh ??" i don't really anticipated it or what ... or rather, i completely forgot about it ...

today had very bad stomach cramps obviously due to something ... but still had 2.4km =( didn't run at all except that when the run 1st started, we were chased by mr chua haha ... then after we just chit chat ... the whole day i was feeling so sleepy and sticky ... yucks ... math lesson had some things going on ... go me,gj and jie were chatting non-stop end up never really get anything into our heads =x

today didn't meet baby cause wasn't feeling well and school ended late ... so went home did nothing ... rest abit then met jonathan at about 8pm for dinner ... played initial d and won =) then sat downstairs and chat for sometime ... he very bad ok ... he know that my mcard memory limited ... still lemme listen all the very nice songs ... then i got no space to send =( manage to get a few songs then chat about that girl .. chat about many many people ...

jonathan is one of the best friends i may ever have ... though we don't see each other often, we just confide in each other and feel comfortable talking about everything ... we are like very close friends which will NEVER EVER develop into a couple ...haha ... i think that's called"hong yan zhi ji" right ??? so baby, no vinegar =x

will be meeting my dearest boy tmr ... i hope ... hope that my sickening teachers don't give too much homework ... feeling so drowsy right now, shall pop into bed ...

goodnight guys ... =)

xiaolynn smiles alot =)

' SHATTERED <3>
7/04/2006 11:27:00 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAO JIE

HOPE YOU'LL HAVE ANOTHER FRUITFUL YEAR OF LIFE ...

2NDLY, HOPE THAT YOU AND LAO JIE FU WILL CHANG CHANG JIU JIU =)

WEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~~~

' SHATTERED <3>
7/03/2006 10:56:00 AM

as promised ... i will update my blog ... yesterday i had no internet connection so i told baby that i will blog today ... he kept his promise and blogged yesterday but i did not ... so the pang of guilt led me to www.blogger.com ... wakakka ...

nothing much really happened yesterday ... when i on my computer in the noon, esmond msged me asking me to go mall ... so i met him and baby there ... we spent the whole day slacking and playing initial d .. when i finally decided to do my coursework, esmond kept mistaking me for a normal acad student ... he said it was because of the speed i'm doing my homework =.= no link right ... what's the use of doing it so fast and getting everything wrong ??? lols ... went home around 7pm but sat at void deck till 9pm haha ... spent some two-some time with baby =)

today going to ice skate already ... haven't been skating for soooo long ... i miss the rink already .. just hope i don't fall too much x))) these few days i really very broke ... i still have to buy 2 more presents and save for a japanese meal ...

ANYONE KIND ENOUGH TO DONATE MONEY ??? (except sq of course =p)

xiaolynn has only a dollar in her pocket =x

' SHATTERED <3>
7/03/2006 10:37:00 AM

ytd was the 30th of june ... hais ... this date makes me think of two people ... but nvm it's the past ...

ytd went to north point to meet baby ... didn't do much cause i arrived late and had to go early ... mac donalds has no network nowdays ... so irritating ... i was intending to save the situation of my coursework but it seems like god is hinting me not to x)))

1/7/2006

the start of a new month ... hope this month go well ... going to have 2.4km on tues and chi oral on wed ... i wonder if i get muscle cramps in the leg, can i groan when i sit down for oral ??? it's painful u know esp when u had never exercised for ages ...

today went to atrium for a lil while ... then stuck at toa payoh till 9plus .. broke 2 records =))) thanks to baby coaching me =) muacks ... my tuban wang lu is going to reach 241,xxx in a week, i don't care !!! haha ... now baby's out with his brothers ... hope he really gets home soon .. cause he didn't have enough sleep ytd ... =( booooo ...

jay gave me a disciple to teach haha ... but it's like his standards are no weaker than me ... after i teach him what to improve on, i don't think i have much to teach already ... perhaps he'll be faster than me in no time ... lols ... BABY!!!! teach me more !!!! haha ...

nothing really much to blog as this few days are study and initial d madness hohoho .. if i manage to do something silly, i'll blog haha ...

xiaolynn is sleepy ... *yawns

' SHATTERED <3>
7/01/2006 11:05:00 PM