When People Say Goodbye

i so don't feel like elaborating about today's happenings. graduation was stupid but the speeches were fine. had terrible sotmach cramps due to something *obviously. moon cake festival performance was ok. some did quite well, some just sucked. that's all, went home tired and frowning.

got back my report book, allelujah. i failed eng and a-math. FARK !!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
9/29/2006 11:17:00 PM

Today was a simple yet fun day.

woke up rather late cause of F&N *duh.

so had no time for breakfast =(

drank coffee in school then went for assembly already.

1st period was chemistry,

i think mr ng was quite unhappy with us la.

majority of the class didn't bring their 5 yrs series,

so in the end he asked us to do self-revision for chemistry ONLY.

many of us ended up doing maths or some kuku subj except chem.

shing rong got caught by kelvin lim this morning.

he had to have his hair cut, so he asked the guys to help.

i saw the way jun an cut his hair,

i knew it was gone case already.

so above his sideburn was two bare patches LOL!!!

one big one small,

so er jie said it was 50cents mark and 20cents mark haha !!!

then mr ng went over to scold as we were too noisy.

did maths like what most of us were doing.

during recess, i went to see mdm sumayah.

now my coursework left with content page only.

very easy, tomorrow free from coursework already =)

so afterall, i failed to drop F&N, that lucky teacher.

she's a ncie woman la, so didn't wanna make things too diff for her.

bought chicken wings for me and er jie.

mdm sumayah took such a long time that when i went up to class,

recess almost over already.

sorry er jie >.<

had 4 periods of maths straight.

ok la, managed to pay attention today.

did a-math paper 2, quarter of it after mr yeo finish going through everything.

the last period of math mr yeo gave it to us as extra break.

thanks =) but i stayed in class to continue maths.

today got form so finish asap then no homework haha.

2 periods of SS used to kill me, now we have 3 periods, or is it 4 ??

1st period i wasn't really paying attention.

as expected, the 2nd period i fell asleep.

very soundly, though sleeping on tables and chairs ain't comfortable at all.

when i woke up, er jie said" wa qi chuang le ar."

she said i slept for one hour but acutally only 30mins.

then listened abit for the last period then dismissed.

bath and went to darling's house.

wanted to gather some things to entertain him as i may be sleeping at his house.

i couldn't find baby photos so i brought neoprints.

mum kept my baby photos till after o levels then she show me.

she also threatened to show my husband when i get married, DAMNED.

brought bruce almighty and "kochi kochi" haha.

reached darling's house, i opened his window and said "kochi kochi" haha

he was sleeping.

he didn't look too happy, i had to "kochi" 3 times then he smiled haha.

we watched "kochi kochi" together.

look through photos, the times when i was sec 2 with that freaking long hair.

darling is really CUTE when he was young la,

i laughed when i flipped through his album.

how come i don't have so many photos =(

stole some of his baby photos, there was one which pictured him sitting on a railing in a very awkward manner.

haha i laughed like mad.

he gave me 8 photos, i wanted every of it haha.

he let me choose those nice nice one.

darling told me to take as many as i want but i thought i took too much already haha.

his childhood leh, precious to him.

should leave enough for him to look at in the future.

after that we went down to econ minimart to help his mum.

darling so forgetful la haha.

at first forget to buy food for his mum.

later forget to pass his mum the TOTO ticket lols.

but we didn't win la, every set of numbers only got one match, =(.

it's ok, shouldn't depend on gambling in the 1st place.

went to 925 to eat before we went timezone.

played free game then hubby thought me how to make the code.

play 2 rounds of tuban.

very long nv play already, like kns.

2 rounds was good at the 1st 2 turns, then later bang haha.

roller coaster got improve but not fast enough.

shall work on it =)

bought milk tea then went home.

mum called.

i think she has PMS today.

yelled at me for no reason.

forget it, just qian jiu her abit.

normally she treat me good so i just keep quiet lor.

those who know me will find it wierd haha.

cause i normally will fight back,

but that applies to other people.

i love my mom =)

i think that's all for today, long post.

off to do content page.

new blogging style, feed back pls.

is it easier to read with the fonts bolded and the alignment being centered?

*jolynn yawns

' SHATTERED <3>
9/28/2006 10:46:00 PM

i woke up at 6am this morning feeling really like shit. was rushing F&N the whole night until about 3am. i had no intentions of skipping school but my whole body just couldn't move. so my mum came in later on, she had to help me to get up. perhaps some nerve in my body is stuffed with fats causing blood circulation and movement to be restricted haha.

i skipped chi class as the teacher doesn't even teach. did e-math paper then catch some sleep.ate lor mee for recess then went back to class. though miss suan was absent, she never fails to give us a compre to do, what a gift. andrew yeo came in later on. he told wei xiang, yi ting and zhi kang to tutor the class while he go get some stuff haha. so funny la, those 3 are the "aliens" or rather, prodigies of our class. they seem to get distinctions for every subject, PERVERTS !!! haha. mr yeo came back, went through e-math paper1 then asked us to do paper 2 and a-math paper1 by tmr. WTH !!!! i only did half of e-math paper 2, tmr then say haha. need to chiong F&N yet again =(

after school i bath then rushed to hubby's house. he was losing money in mahjong so i tried to help him la haha. bought "mee pok" for them to eat on the way. the mee pok looks wierd, smells funny, i'm sure it tastes horrible haha. poor them, luckily i forgot to buy for myself lols. end up losing $7.40 sorry hubby =( at first was winning abit back de, but priscillia, baby's friend, she seem to have lady luck sitting right beside her. out of 4 people, only she won and she won like 30-40 bucks or more. then about 6plus they left as she had something on.

so i slept on baby's bed and ended up sparring with each other haha. tickles, fun games haha. when i had to go home, i dragged baby outta bed. i didn't know i was so strong =x haha. i pulled him hard and the whole bed swung around lols. bought an ice pop on the way to bus stop. ages since i ate that. now baby's tending the shop for his mum, then later he going down to his cousin's grandma's funeral. cheer up darling, she'll be happy above.

gonna do coursework, ciao

jolynn wonders

' SHATTERED <3>
9/27/2006 10:24:00 PM

today we had PE. played captain's ball. did run about today, not that lazy. after that we initiated a boys vs girls match, which was tiring cause they pass the ball very fast then have to keep up with them. run until very tired. no point chasing after those goondoos, just stand far away and intersect the ball. haha. gabriel aqua !!! snatch ball from girl !!! i mean they can snatch la, but if you saw what he did then you'll know what i'm talking about.

got back many papers today. not very happy.

SS --> 19.5/50 *a few hours later, i knew who was the marker, and at last, got the explanation for such results which everyone agrees. shall get mrs hee to look through the marking though.

geography --> 29/50 *happy la but because of 0.5degrees, i lost a grade

eng paper 2 --> 20/50 =( bad bad

i think my grade for L1R5 prelims will be around 29 haha. i never seem to pass eng.

went home, took an hour nap then went out for dinner with mum. bought my printer ink and did a little bit of shopping. bought a pull over for $43, khaki shorts for $39 and a tee for $23. all got discount abit but sums up to about $77. gonna get some skirts.

i know many people ain't happy that hady won but i must say he has got what it takes. jonathan's lacking that little bit. maybe x-factor, looks, voice, stage appeal, overall hady is a notch higher than jonathan. vocal range is needless to say. though i don't really like hady as a person, but i must say he looks and sounds fantastic on stage. but whatever it is, they both are winner to have come so far. congratulations !!!=p

jolynn is upset, very upset.

' SHATTERED <3>
9/26/2006 10:03:00 PM

wahahaha i'm in school now. supposed to be doing coursework but i just copied and paste. go home then edit la hack care, i don't intend to get very good grades for F&N wahahahha.

yesterday slept at alex's house with baby. so sweet HOR =p *hush hush. too bad, though you guys might be anticipating me to say i had sex but sorry, NO. i tickled him till he bth haha. wahahaha so i decided to officially wake up at 8plus. stole jun long's food sorry>.<>

not meeting my baby anytime soon la. i miss him ='( may not blog often cause of lousy internet connection. well~~~ i miss darling.

jolynn sobs

' SHATTERED <3>
9/26/2006 02:05:00 PM

hehe. at alex's house now with jun long, benny and of course *ahems* haha.

yesterday boring. met benny, jun long, ming kang, ah joe, ri ming and don't know who at northpoint. i did a-maths while benny, ah joe and ri ming watch. haha they watch until want sleep. then benny knew xin yi through friendster so she came today. they very shy never really talk then we went up timezone awhile jiu go home le. baby lost $$$ in mahjong =( boooooo.

today i woke up around 6plus. msged dear on the way to school >.<>

dismissal i rush home bath cause darling asked me if i wanna come yishun. of course want la !!!! though tired but i still will drag myself here de. slept throughtout the journey then the bus uncle woke me up lols. haha. couldn't find my printer ink, very expensive also. haha. hao la, i go play game le x))) cya guys.

jolynn smiles and yawns

' SHATTERED <3>
9/25/2006 04:38:00 PM

wahahaha. back from my uncle house. today's a relatively normal and ok day but baby made it very wonderful =p

woke up rather late. spent alot of time choosing clothes and dolling up, i don't know why. but my wardrobe seems to be getting smaller and smaller. everything is like disappearing from nowhere, weird huh? wear until quite funny but i think can la.

went atrium. baby and his family eating at cafe cartel. he asked me to join but i don't want cause very awkward. then after eating baby came up to find me. then stupid ah ken and wind pang seh me haha. spent $17 with darling to catch that candy toy thing but failed. recently we got hooked up with this very fun yet irritating machine haha. can spent the whole hundred bucks and get nothing but the whole pile of sweets or you can win a jackpot with just 2 bucks. so baby got me a hippo and don't know what with a messy coloured STITCH cartoon haha. with "chest hair" as darling claimed haha. ming kang spent 60 bucks just to get me my mickey and his winnie pooh bear for his gf haha.

went to food court to eat after that. me and darling didn't eat. i shared teh ping with baby. i can swear that i'll get diabetes in no time. 1stly, the sweets from the machine, i'll try bring some for my classmates haha. 2ndly, the teh ping seems to be made of 500ml water with 500 gallons of sugar. i was really really sweet can !!!!!!!!!! drink until like mad. so i took ah joe's hot teh ping and pour some in and mix haha. the cup very hard to pour then spilled quite alot sorry >.<

saw sQ, jiao bin, josh and norad there too. wanted to ask them sit together with us but they found another table. so we finish eating then went there to distribute sweets haha. we got the whole big bag of it !!!! wahahaha. then i kept hugging ming kang's winnie the pooh, he scared i will take it away haha. so i said"lemme hug awhile more will die ar" i hug until mrt still don't want return him haha. but i did in the end.

i needed to go my uncle house already then ming kang wanted us to accompany him until 10pm then he go fetch his gf but baby hesitated haha. then they keep say darling "pattern come out liao lor !!!" haha. so spent about 20mins in the MRT station going off-topic with me inside the station and them outside lols. talked across the railing. in the end baby still went with me =)

chatted alot on the train. mostly about our crappings haha. i love this feeling, laugh laugh laugh happy happy very comfortable haha. then time pass very fast. reached jurong le. before baby boarded the train back to yishun, i told him " don't hong char bor ar" wahahaha. joking la, i know he won't. at least i hope he won't haha.=x anyway, i just love things the way it is now. i love my baby, my baby loves me. we are flexible, unpressurising, giving each other enough of everything, time, freedom, thought and whatever la. haha, happy as i am =p i love you darling *shys haha.

jolynn finally sees the daylight, the beautiful side that god has planned for me =) it is sunshine after thunderstorms, sweet after bitterness. thanks my one and only jarrel <3

' SHATTERED <3>
9/24/2006 12:22:00 AM

ok hi guys !!!!!!!! haven't been blogging for 1 day hahaha. for 2 minutes, it's counted as 2 days. the main reason: DAMNED F&N COURSEWORK

21o9

that idiotic subject got me so weared out. didn't sleep for the whole 3 days and yet still cannot complete it. perhaps i have to sacrifice my sunday to do it. so i went to school half-dead. was already in a bad mood and those childish people still have to make some funny noises causing the whole school to be detained in that very warm parade square. i understand that girls shouting out from nowhere among the silence because of a bug may be quite funny, but imitating them is abit too errrrrr. you know. then some kukus decided to whistle non-stop thinking that it's hilarious or something. i thought it was the sec 2s or 3s, but to my surprise, i turned my head and saw sec4s from the class beside me doing it too *bish* no comments. was struggling to keep awake la, then need to hang on extra 15minutes which is alot for a person who is deprived of sleep.

chemistry was still ok because we got back results and perhaps the disaapointment kept me awake. practical was a whole piece of shit, the whole paper was dumbly done. if not for that, i could have got a2 for science. hopefully i don't repeat the same mistake during o levels which is 2 weeks later.

results for combined science

practical paper --> 19/30 *sucks
MCQ--> 32/40
theory paper for chem --> 39/65 :(
theory paper for physics --> 45/65 soso lor

total --> 136/200
grade --> B3 (wasted)

then mr yeo didn't come today, thank goodness. so i got 2 hours of sleep w/o sacrificing my education :) slept for the 1st hour then it was recess. er jie woke me up, if not i don't know i'll be sleeping till what time. ate a little, went back to class and slept for the 2nd hour. i forgot what lesson was it after that. i think it was social studies? i guess so but no papers were completely marked so mrs hee didn't give us back. then "tried" to do and essay question. it was incomplete cause the tpoic's on singapore's industrialisation in the late 1960s. i hate industrialisation so i took my own sweet time doing it.

after school i still dragged myself to NYP to "study". i really had the intention to but i guess with baby and leong chun, concentration is not a factor you can consider there haha. did my overall time plan for coursework then played with leong chun's laptop haha. really very tired and headache but baby's my medicine =p i took away leong chun's power plug for laptop in deposit so that he will acc us to yishun but in the end i returned him cause he was very tired haha, so kind =x went to yishun to play then eat and of course went home. went overstop on bus 854 and took another bus back home haha. msged hubby awhile and fell asleep.

22o9

i was supposed to wake up at 5.30am to complete math paper. but i dragged till 6am dozed off again. and jumped out from bed at 6.30am instead, not too late but late enough to kanna DC. so i rushed like mad, as i didn't pack my bag the night before. when i got down my bus, i ran all the way and for goodness sake, bowen's way up to its building is a slope !!! not a very steep one but a very long one, tiring enough to make your muscles feel like bursting.

assembly was short, good to hear that. i kind of forgot the timetable today but i got back my physics results as stated above. then there were 2 cirrculurs (how to spell??) regarding night study programme and graduation ceremony. how time flies, i've grown up =p will go for night study when OCT starts, provided that procastination in absent. graduation's next fri, but recent years, the ceremony sucks. just go up in school uniform, have to look neat or rather nerdy. then take and just go down stage. 2 to 3 years ago they had prom night, now no more =( so lifeless. forget it, i'll only miss my friends and the food in bowen.

after school went home and bath. met darling, benny, ri ming, ah joe, ming kang, sQ and hian leng at yishun. went down to jurong point. bought a "lynno" =) almost basic tuned but can't really game now cause of studies. darling, take good care of her ok ? haha. then ate at PS. we were argueing about where to go. wanted to go geylang haha in the end we lazy to go, so go somewhere nearer. sQ kanna bullied, poor him. si yun looks disgusted haha. she'll get used to it. i pinched my baby very hard on his ****** sorry >.< *sayangs he queued up to buy food for me =) thanks. went up to arcade for 15minutes then went off le. saw this ah ma at arcade playing that sweet and toy game. she won the whole big bag of sweet and toys !!!!!!!!!!!!! amazing, it's not some small plastic bag can. is those type big big paper bag, one for sweets one for soft toys. OMG. haha.

baby sent me to mrt then he went back to find them. he just msged and told me that he spent 4 bucks getting the jackpot and one of the smaller soft toys haha. the 2nd cutest one. thankies =p hehe muacks =s

P.S: to the 2 people they know who they are. i'm really not angry with the 2 of you. it's the bigger picture i guess. i'm angry with the whole thing and the circulation of mockery so it's not both of you the fault. i don't mind you two joking with it cause i understand that you both meant no harm but it's that many people are learning about distorted facts and they continue from there. that's annoying la. if to say angry with you 2, it's very little as you two didn't expect them to tell so many people. as long as it doesn't continue to spread lor. since it's kind of come to an end, i think also no point i continue being angry la. relax, it's not the both of you i'm talking about =) i love u guys too *whoops ****** don't jealous haha

haha. now i have nothing to do so let's blog hop =)

long entry but i finally say "THE END" haha. my life is so happening. bye guys=p

jolynn lets out a sigh of tiredness

' SHATTERED <3>
9/23/2006 12:39:00 AM

i need to vent abit, will be scolding soon, don't wish to read, better exit now ...

why are people getting less and less thoughtful of the feelings of peers around them ??? just say whatever they think is funny, passing inconsiderate comments as and when they feel like it.

things may be what you think it is, but the truth might be another. i may look like i'm playing a fool but as a matter of fact, i'm deadly serious and by mocking at the doubts i may have caused is just showing plain disrespect. what does the right to comment on my life comes from for you ? who are you all to say about it ? are u the one living in it ? how much can u understand from what u see ?

even if the truth may some how or rather appear similar to your comments, it's doesn't prove your assumptions to be correct. if u think by treating my life as your toy and playing around it is funny enough for every of you to laugh, then i must really voice that i feel that it is NOT FUNNY AT ALL .

i don't have the right to say that u all are immature as i'm not very far better but to show some consideration is something a teen should be able to do easily ? not any one of you took that 1 second to think of how i may feel. it's not me you all are talking about, it's my life and the people around me, which boils down to include every single one of you.

and by spreading it around and get more players into this stupid game is something most ruthless u can do, doing it within yourself is enough, trying to accomodate more people in your so called "fun" is ridiculous. being made fun of about something which ain't true all the time isn't funny at all. i may entertain some, smile at times, maybe some abrupt replies, but does that mean i'm ok with it ? think of it on yourself, if it happens that you are the one being misunderstood and everyone makes silly jokes out of it and irritate u all the time about it, how u feel ?

what i wanna do will not be because of what u all say. whether i decide to leave a person or stay, it shouldn't get affected by anyone. even if u tell me that you are going to die if i make that step, i will still do it. because it's you who risk guessing my actions and i don't see the reason why i have to compromise with my life just for you to escape the consequences. why should my life be directed by all the silly games ? give me my own life, don't make me live for you. the consequences were what u chose to accept when u started in this game, not me.

by gambling with a person's character and life is not something that very nice to do. once or twice is ok, but as the one or two tells the others, others join in the game and create more hell out of it, don't you all think is overboard? it's getting rather distasteful. i think the joke is carrying to far. initially i didn't really like it but now i really don't like it. it getting too critical and extreme in the sense that i feel very bothered about it.

i will still choose to keep quiet about it, but if it really gets out of hand, even if u may say i'm unreasonable, i won't give face at all. because u people are the ones who were unreasonable with my private life 1st. try getting people to do that to yours, u like it? i'm laughing and playing a fool most of the time, means i'm not serious or i don't have feelings ? or did u take for granted that i'll brush it off my mind even though people are annoying me with similar issues everyday? this serves as a light warning to whoever u think u are. just think through what i've said, if any of u think u don't agree, and i don't have to right to be unhappy even when my personal life is being played joked with, then continue doing it, and see what happens.

everything has a limit, know yours

' SHATTERED <3>
9/20/2006 03:06:00 PM

me, my cute cousin and mommy !!!! <3

me and sQ, a long time ago ..

does baby look like a horse ?? =x

happy people, plus benny behind haha !!!

me and my lovely baby =) *<3

lazy to upload others. good start huh haha. will try to upload more pics when i change my pea-sized memory card lols. good bye guys =)

' SHATTERED <3>
9/19/2006 10:20:00 PM

"hua la la la la xia yu liao" haha ... i'm really having moods swings la. today i woke up at a very late timing because my father banged my door earlier at 10am yelling that my teacher has called home saying that i was absent from school yesterday and i haven't hand in coursework. so i opened the door and said " tell that teacher to shut her mouth la, and you too .." then i walked off mumbling something like " seven early eight early chao chao chao " since my sleep was interrupted, it restarts the hours. meaning: if i don't get my full course of sleep, it's equals to me not sleeping at all. so i will sleep back for even a longer time.

woke up at 1plus. benny asked me to go mac study but i told him i'll be rather late as i have to go see doctor. replied my baby =) then bath, cooked noodles, eat and fly out of the house. sounds rather like holiday life huh ??? but tomorrow no more already =(

i was walking to the medical hall in kovan when i saw my pri school friend. went to see the doc, got MC then went to find her as she was working there. she very slack, only her colleague working, wait tio sack haha. then heard alot of bad things that happened to my friends from pri school, was kinda sad. wonder how they are now. talked for very long then i realised that i'm running late, so bade goodbye and sprinted to the bus stop. this time i took the correct bus ok.

reached northpoint, NOBODY was there !!!! benny told me he still at riming house. i thought he coming down soon so i waited and waited and waited. finally he came and told me " i study at his house liao, i go up play 1st ar." i STARED at him, i seriously did. then i looked down and continue doing math. #@#@#$$ i could have stayed at home to sleep, made me bring so many books then never study =(

so after awhile i bought mac, and went up. didn't play at all. then dar dar came =) joked around, screamed in the arcade, fine i'm crazy i know. today quite hyper considering me getting out on the wrong side of bed. then went down to mac at 7plus cause benny said HE WANT TO STUDY !!!! at such a late time already. so we went down lor, but i didn't study. i drew on foolscap. vandalised baby's hand and neck haha. full of my graffiti =p

after that darling sent me to the interchange then he went back to timezone. shall make an attempt to upload the 1st batch of pictures in my blog =) haha, if not very plain huh ???

ok attempt failed. i think cannot update together with text right ??? anyway. i just received an sms from baby that he has broken the sg record for myogi left wet =) !!!!!!!!!!!!! 2,53,590 YEAH !!!!!!!!!! congratulations my boy WEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~ feeling so happy for you haha ...

jolynn hearts you =p

' SHATTERED <3>
9/19/2006 09:41:00 PM

2nd post for today. i'm bored so it's survey time. got this from camay, she didn't ask me to do, but i'm just doing it to kill time. hope you don't mind =)

1. SINGLE or CRUSHING ??
--> ATTACHED =)

2. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE NOW ??
--> KIND OF, QUITE LA =X

3. WHEN YOU MEET THE RIGHT PERSON, DO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM FAST ??
--> LET MY ER JIE ANSWER THIS QUESTION =P

4. HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN ??
--> A MILLION TIMES.

5. DO YOU BELIEVE THERE ARE SOME CIRCUMSTANCES WHERE CHEATING LOVE IS ACCEPTABLE ??
--> MAYBE, BUT PROBABLY NO. IF IT HAPPENS TO YOU, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

6. WOULD YOU TAKE BACK SOMEBODY WHO HAD CHEATED ON YOU ??
--> NEVER EVER.

7. HAVE YOU TALKED ABOUT MARRIAGE WITH ANOTHER BEFORE ??
--> DUH. SO OFTEN DISCUSSED.

8. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN ??
--> YEAH.

9. HOW MANY ??
--> 2 TO 4 SHOULD BE OK.

10. WOULD YOU CONSIDER ADOPTION ??
--> I WILL BUT EAT TOO FULL NOTHING TO DO ?? UNLESS "BO KIA" LA.

11. IF SOMEONE REALLY LIKE YOU NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BEST WAY TO LET HIM/HER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ??
--> IF HE PUTS THE EFFORT, HE SHOULD KNOW, NO NEED TO LET HIM KNOW DE. CORRECT ??? JCYW =P

12. DO YOU ENJOY GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS ??
--> SOME, DEPENDS.

13. HONEST, WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU AND YOUR EX DID ??
--> WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU ??

14. DO YOU BELIEVE LOVE IN YOUR FIRST SIGHT ??
--> NO.

15. ARE YOU ROMANTIC ??
--> ASK JCYW =P I DON'T KNOW.

16. DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN CHANGE SOMEONE ??
--> WHY THE HELL SHOULD I CHANGE SOMEONE WHEN I NEED TO CHANGE MYSELF WAHAHAHA.

17. IF YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE MARRIED SOMEWHERE, WHERE WILL IT BE ??
--> CAN'T THINK OF THE BEST PLACE NOW, BUT MANY PLACES ARE GOOD LA.

18. DO YOU EASILY GIVE IN WHEN YOU ARE FRIGHTING ??
--> AT TIMES, BUT NORMALLY I TRY TO ADAPT TO IT AND REBUTT THE ONE WHO FRIGHTENS ME =P

19. DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE NOW ??
--> DIG MY HEART OUT AND SEE =)

20. HAVE YOU EVER WISHED YOU HAD SOMEONE, BUT MESSED IT ALL UP ??
--> YEAH A FEW TIMES.

21. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A BROKEN HEART ??
--> YEAH, NOW STILL A LITTLE BUT WITH BABY, OF COURSE NOT =)

22. IF ONE DAY YOUR BEST FRIEND FALLS IN LOVE WITH THE GUY/GIRL THAT YOU LOVE DEEPLY, WHAT WILL YOU DO ??
--> DEPENDS, I MAY SACRIFICE AND GIVE UP OR I WILL PLAN A MURDER X))) DEPENDS ON THE GUY'S FEELINGS LOR. (JCYW, DON'T TRY THAT !!! HAHA)

23. ARE YOU MISSING SOMEONE NOW ??
--> ASK IF HE'S SNEEZING =P

5 PEOPLE TO DO THIS

1) BABY !!!!!!!!!!!! HAHA
2) ER JIE =X *WHOOPS
3) MISHI
4) LANCE !!!
5) sQ (IF YOU WANT) =P

' SHATTERED <3>
9/18/2006 11:26:00 PM

ok am having a bad mood, a real bad mood. i always binge on food whenever i'm either very happy or very down(can be sad or angry). so i can conclude that i'm in mood swings, or rather bad day.

my diet for today

1) maggie mee with veg, mushrooms and egg. (alot huh?)
2) mc flurry oreo
3) curry puff and yam pie from OCK
4) hokkien mee at 925
5) "mui fun" oop my house

i've only woken up for less than 12 hours and yet i'm eating so much. "mui fun" was half an hour ago, now i'm ransacking my fridge for a pathetic drop of food. i think i need 32673467646754years to digest this 276327645788954897678945 kcal. WHATEVER !!!!

i skipped school today so i tried not to let my dad find out i'm still at home. so i had to hide in my room till he's gone out. actually intended to flee to my uncle's house as my mum has suggested but we both overslept. too bad. and what's worse, that arsehole normally goes out at 10plus, don't know if it's intentionally or what, he went out at 1plus today. DAMN IT !!! so i kept waking up and lullabying myself to sleep for umpteen times. i need the toilet but had to bear with it. #@@##$^%

finally when i got to go out, i rushed to the toilet, cooked noodles, whatever then flew out. went to kovan to see the doctor for MC. he's my usual doctor that i only go to, but when i reached there, the staff told me:" he's on leave during mondays." FINE, i guess i've never been sick on mondays that's why i didn't know. so how am i going to get an MC ??? nvm. when i wanted to change bus to take 854 to yishun, i took the wrong bus. congratulate me !!!! if i'm using adult fare, i think i can deplete my mum's savings in a week by taking the wrong bus every other day.

reached yishun, waited for about half an hour for baby and benny to come. i didn't break records today, darned. waste my $$$$. then just slacked around for the whole day.

sQ got raped by benny, mk and darling. so i just watched and laugh HAHAHAHA "so funny". today the whole day at timezone i got this very distant feeling, so i kind of isolated myself from the fun. don't know leh, half felt like crying, half wanted to throw temper. but some times i managed to laugh. but when i'm unhappy i just tried to keep quiet or sleep. don't want show people attitude la, not too nice. then got really tired and slept a few times. went to 925 to eat, actually had no appetite but just ate a little. shared with hubby. then went back to timezone again =.= but this time was worth it cause darling broke singapore's record =) YAY !!! gong xi ni.

leong chun came after that so i started to wonder, since when leong chun and sQ so close??? stay overnight at his house somemore. so i asked leong chun why. he replied:" yin wei wo wan shang mei you ren pei ma." when i heard that, my reaction was: o.0 . so sQ preferred guys afterall lols. just kidding. then after northpointing, baby sent to me interchange so bus waiting period was quite long. chat chat abit but that time i almost wanted to cry le but didn't i guess. then he went back to TZ after that to find them. they go sQ's house, have fun.

i don't know what's happening, but to request for a life w/o the pressence of him is abit too much and chek argh. but whenever i see him, i just feel that jolt of pain and my mood doesn't get better. perhaps i should avoid seeing him except on days when my mood is really super. i think i really must get that painful past off my mind, dear don't deserve this =p so i must do it just for him, so that we'll be together happily ever after =) 4056830968

END OF STORY *dots

jolynn sobs in silence
17o9o6 *9.57pm

' SHATTERED <3>
9/18/2006 10:56:00 PM

ok haha ... blog about this fabulous day i had =)

i woke up at 1plus. 1st reaction: wth !!!! i'm late !!! why NONO never call me !!!!!!!!!!
so i msged him and he said he thought that i could wake up by myself. you don't know me that well, do you ??? hehe.

so went to yishun to meet them then headed to town. thanks for the curry puff =))) went to orchard and walked around like a stupid idiot. town's really boring la. bought ice cream, browse the shops and played with things. that's what me and him enjoy doing. but the whole groups of us keep losing each other haha. the grp splits into 3 and 4, cannot find each other haha. "milubing" then at heeren's HMV, there's this rather funny video playing so we stood there and watch, so malu haha.

along orchard road to somerset, there's this singapore biennale thingy, so we went and took a look. was rather lame. walked off, halfway they psed me and NONO. BULLSHIT !!! haha. so i brought him to le meridien where choir performed during christmas, walked around then went to find them.

played a fool in PS then they played at arcade, that lovely place *ahems* haha. tsk tsk. then me and NONO went to POSB, a long queue but not very long either. went up to find them. we were going up when they going down. after that, we go down find them, they come up find us. haha so silly la. finally decided to watch a movie around 7plus. told them to watch just now,don't want, so late then watch. benny die die also want to watch "the host", see regretted right ?? haha.

after the movie i called mummy, she was so worried cause i didn't tell her i'll be late and i switched off my phone. sorry mum>.<>

NONO(i mean d****** *whoops haha) going to play mahjong later. he say he wants to recoup the losses of our movie tickets then bring me watch a nicer one together =) so sweet of you haha, jia you !!!! then while i was walking home, i was smiling to myself all the way la haha !!! waiting for food also smile lols. bought food back home to console mama, eat halfway i started laughing. mummy took the thermometer out and check my temperature haha. seriously, she did. was running a slight fever, so i told her:" tan lian ai de ren, ti wen bi jiao gao hehe." then she pushed my head and walked off, mumbling something like:" shen jing bing." haha. i'm just too happy la.

then out of a sudden, i felt a very sharp pain. i thought i wanna LS liao. so i ran to the toilet, but no lehx. then i kept crying. my mummy say my face change very fast. really very pain she called up my uncle. he said i walked too fast when my stomach full, ask me don't move too much if not acute appendicitis then no good le. then he told me to calm myself down, i think he know, don't you??? =p

that's all, good luck for mahjong =) er jie, i love you so much. express my gratitude to you in school, buy you drink ok ??? haha

jolynn smiles like a fool =p

*9.57pm

' SHATTERED <3>
9/17/2006 11:36:00 PM

hohoho ... woke up at 10plus .. supposed to be 9plus .. then pushed down all the schedule ... sorry NONO >.<

went to pray after that ... wished for a better future ... me and sb to be happy and blissful >.<>

bus back to TPY needed a long time of waiting ... it was very crowded ... mum had to take another bus and we were separated because i was in a hurry ... packed like sardines .. =(

met NONO, jun long, ah joe, benny, wei jie, sQ and her (i don't know who) .. she's cute la but very quiet haha ... * good for you sQ =) treat ppl better la, make her stand whole day, never help her buy drink ... joking =p

went to atrium .. then me and NONO felt really bored ... so we went to PS to walk about ... basement got nothing much ... went to barang barang ... they sell alot of cute stuff ... played with everything there but no money to buy a single thing lols ... then went to random stores and back to atrium yet again .. i slept for very long =x then went to eat long john for dinner ...

everybody suaned me =( booooo haha ... NONO ordered alot of food, well .. can't blame, he's a pig =) we ate the slowest so they went off to alex's house 1st ... then me and NONO headed home while i went jurong ...

was kind of quiet throughout the journey (miracle, i know) ... memories flooded back, about many people whom i once loved ... every piece of image that flashed through my mind, shattered my heart a million times ... almost cried but didn't ... sorry NONO again >.<
then to my uncle house then back home ...

this whole day i was feeling really wierd, NONO knows why ... but i just hais ... don't what to say la ... but i know, i'll give up the past ... i won't wanna disappoint u .. even if i see things from now on, i'll try to throw it outta my heart .. i guess it'll take alot of effort ... good luck to sQ then ... =)

jolynn tears

' SHATTERED <3>
9/17/2006 12:38:00 AM

today i felt that we are a notch closer =) as in our hearts and mind, not body ar haha ... am i like thinking too much ?????????

jolynn wonders

' SHATTERED <3>
9/16/2006 12:14:00 AM

just blog abit before i hit the hay which i haven't really touched for a few days ...

am happy today ... damn damn happy in fact haha ... i love this type of weather, makes me feel very nice lols .. however, having to wake up early in the morning spoils it all ... i thought it was sat so i ignored the alarm ... until my mum came in the room screaming haha ... was really tired as this whole week i slept for less than 10hrs =( every half an hr i sleep, i will wake up again for another 2plus hours before i fall asleep again ... insomia i guess ...

last papers for prelims was ok ... but felt tired, real tired la ... after school went home to bath then off to amk to find leong chun .. it was raining cats and dogs ... i walked to hougang mall to ATM haha ... then to the bus stop ... from AMK mrt station, leong chun that idiot actually brought me to somewhere near YCK mrt ... walked all the way, drenched in the rain ... so i told him:" since u coming here u might as well say, i take 72 better" so we finally reached the outside of his school and cannot take it anymore ... so we went inside to take a rest la ...

i was supposed to meet NONO at abt 1plus at yishun but it was alrdy 1 so i msged him asked him to come over ... i heard leong chun say that we are going "staff canteen" then when NONO replied, he laughed so i asked leong chun to confirm ... he said it was "south canteen" don't know his tongue short or my ears stuck haha ... just now when we were at the road, i asked if he wanna jaywalk ... well, he as the top initial d racer, if he dies in the hands of a car, then it'll be really funny ... as we joked abt it, a yellow disgusting subaru sped pass and the water flew up ... it didn't splashed immed, but after 2secs or so ... i think the impact of the spd too strong ... and it landed on me and leong chun =.= stupid car, yellow colour somemore ...

ate "bah chor mee", reminds me of "mee siam mai qi hum" =) then NONO joined us after that ... sat there and chatted ... leong chun keep complaining cold, don't want to stay there ... i was also cold but i too lazy to move haha ... ended up, we acc leong chun back to amk again =.= that lucky bastard haha ...my feet are soaked in rainwater the whole day, so annoying =( when we reached yishun i was kind of having headache and very slight fever alrdy ... sQ, wei jie and mingkang came mrt to fetch us ... haha no la ... we conned them down =x then went up .. played initial d, NONO almost broke sg record again .. so i msged him to jia you as i was too shy to say it in front of everybody, wait later they ka jiao him haha ... then the girl sQ always refer to as "ren yao" came ... her DDR skills was superb !!! but ppl mock at her like that really very bad lor ... don't they have conscience ??? just because of looks they need to like that mehx ... got to talk to her today, she's a nice girl, i swear ... she's really nice ok ...

kept stealing ah joe's jacket haha ... then went down to KFC to eat ... beeny, ri ming, alex and jun long pang sehed us ... BOOOOO~~~ nvm ... we had a happy time eating together also haha ... chatted abt stuff .. today **** was really mushy ... why does he have to dong shou dong jiao when me and him not even close ??? so NONO said, just stay away, anything just run to him or stick to him ... so you'll protect me huh ??? haha ... happy to hear that =p

sQ, wei jie, leong chun, ah guo, josh, yi sheng and benny are forming a team called "the 7th impact" .. nice name haha ... so me, NONO, ri ming, alex, jun long and some others were thinking, why don't we form another called "ba xian guo hai" haha ... it's a show, the eng subtitle is "the eight immortals" lols ... then NONO is the lu dong bing, i am he xian gu *pukes haha ... benny say i am "he kuku" =.= haha or "he mo gu" wth haha ... funny la ... just made fun lor ... around 8plus i wanted to go home liao ... NONO failed to acc me home cause i don't allow ... haha, he using adult fare, too expensive ... don't gey gao $$$ with me hor, i only gey gao with ppl i not close to ...

then i gave him a lollipop to rid the taste of the coeslaw haha ... then bus came i went home =) msged him something and i blushing on my own .. dots haha ... everytime i read his msg i will laugh one lols ... i think it's because we feel comfortable with each other ... very natural ba ... just chatting, making each other happy and enjoying the time lor ... look out for one another haha ... very seldom have such "soulmates" one haha ... anyway, i'm just real happy today ...

hopefully tomorrow he'll have time ba ... i can't get enough of his crappiness =) same noisy type haha ... but NONO, we are gonna presevere, for the sake of escaping a horrible bungee jump ride wahahhaa ... er jie and guo jing sure lose one =p

jolynn is elated to have you*
*4064770968*

' SHATTERED <3>
9/15/2006 10:38:00 PM

what a sleepless night .. or i would say, what sleepless nightSSSSS !!!!!!!! this whole week, every half hour i sleep, i'll stay awake for 3hrs ... step in to examination hall feeling so lethargic ... brain totally drained ..

14th sep

i woke up at 5plus in the morning .. hit my head against the wall as usual ... on the com and blogged ... then went school ... exams started with physics ... don't think can get distinction maybe b4 or c5 .. then had the whole 2 and a half hrs of break =.= doing nth, talking to er jie and guo jing ... they made a bet for the period of time i will stay single =.= their bet was:

guo jing: i think next week by sunday jiu have le la ..
er jie: xiao mei, since u say u want stretch to 1 month, then i say the week after next lor ...

WTH !!!!!!!!!!! sounds so ... nvm ... anyway, the forfeit is not on me, just that the issue concerns me haha ... a-math was thoroughly disappointing .. when i re-visited the chapters, i understood nth ... mr yeo said i failed paper 1 ... somehow i feel kind of guilty cause he's really a good teacher who never gives up hope and try his best to let us understand his teaching ... and yet i chose to slack during prelims and get terrible grades .. sorry ...

after school went yishun to meet benny ... ri ming was there ... then played initial d ... NONO went to acc his irritating friend again haha .. came back earlier today around 6plus ... played *press*press* =) then went to eat .. joked alot haha ... finally NONO ate as slow as me =p he kanna bullied till very jialat, my fault >.<

after that i went home and here i am ... cannot slp =(

jolynn misses you

' SHATTERED <3>
9/15/2006 12:40:00 AM

blogging now before i go school haha ... kind of wierd blogging in the wee hours ... yesterday's chi paper was ok, so i shan't elaborate ...

after school i bathed then went to northpoint to meet benny ... waited quite long ... NONO went queensway so nobody entertained me haha ... wei jie and sq came later ... surprisingly wei jie in very good mood haha ... so liven up the atmostphere by a notch ...

congrats sQ and wei jie for breaking record ...

sq--> usui left wet - 2,47,903
wei jie --> akagi down dry - GDB - 2,21,5xx

previous day NONO also broke happo wang lu wet, CONGRATS x)))

seems like everyone's break their records except me !!! haha ... i'm kind of inactive already lols .. but this sat's match i'll still be there ... watching 2 gods of initial d matching each other, very anticipating !!! hehe ...

then ytd around 7plus NONO managed to rush from queensway to yishun ... but end up only me, ri ming and him go eat, poor thing haha ... after that 3 little pigs walked to interchange ... the fattest one *whoops don't want to acc me ... so the skinniest one borrowed from the fat one's his concession pass ... then skinny pig acc me take bus home ... when we about to chnage bus, he wanted to go toilet haha ... so we walked to hougang point ... i think we walked the longer way cause i don't know how to go haha ... then end up reached there the place under renovation ... don't know where the toilet located at LOL .. poor him, have to "ren niao" sooooo long haha ... then finally found 1 at the food court which very dirty and smelly ... eeeekssss ...

after that took 325 home ... at that time stomach very very pain liao, but just tolerate lor ... skinny pig how to carry fat pig home haha ... almost fell asleep on bus but didn't .. reached home then hit the hay ... very tired haha ...

now still very tired ... maybe today after shopping,i'll come back and take a nap haha ... cya guys on fri or sat =) guys meaning ppl in yishun haha ...

jolynn qu shang xue

' SHATTERED <3>
9/14/2006 06:22:00 AM

last night i msged nono ... then chatted awhile or rather, very long .. messaging slower ma ... he told me "something about somebody" ... so i was just wondering, is it because of rashness or u really meant it ... shouldn't happen over such a short time ma ... perhaps just suddenly never think much then say ba ... today also quite normal, so i guess it's just kind of a joke or something ... i don't dare to ask further ... but i hope time will just tell me everything ...

today woke up at 6am ... darned tired, slept for abt 2hrs only ...

great thing is that:

1) F&N is guaranteed a fail
2) mr yeo just told me that i did very badly for paper 2
3) no more distinctions for e-math
4) a-math paper sucked like hell

after school, went to hougang mall with lynnette, riyanti, lorraine, namira, laoni, chia yee and friends ... i went to library to re-new my books then we headed to food court for lunch ... actually they wanted to eat LJS but i didn't like that so they compromised >.< sorry

finished eating at about 3pm then i went home to bath then went northpoint to meet NONO ... bus was freaking slow today, it travelled at 40km/hr somemore ... was lazy to change 854 so i took it all the way to AMK then changed train ... who knows, i had to chase for the train ...

reached northpoint at 4.30pm ... only NONO was there ... so i talked and whined alot to him ... paiseh haha ... then benny came, so we went to play my *press*press*press* game lols ... sQ came ... so we went to look for namira's birthday present ... they don't know her but i asked them for help haha ... wanted to buy that cute thing in minitoons but may be too overboard ... maybe consider buying for her tmr ... then we saw dominic's GF so walked around to see if got present anot ... bought something, cannot say what ... so i will give 2 things to namira haha ... so my birthday also 2 presents ar =x

went up to play again ... wei jie and ri ming came ... benny and ri ming keep challenging pick-up haha ... so i complained again cause i was hungry, YET AGAIN ... so went to blk925 to eat ... i guess i wait too long until not hungry le ... took ages to finish my food ... ming kang odd one out, he ate stingray don't know what de, while we all ate mixed veg rice ...

finish eating sit there chat ... sQ played his auspicious hours game with them again =.= lame haha ... finding trouble for himself ... NONO very suay, sit beside me kanna pinched and beat many times ... the uncle selling drinks also made fun by us ... funny day la =)

NONO: paiseh hit u very hard haha ... got orh ba kak tell me hor haha ... i compensate u lols ... anyway, u really mean it ??? joking one right ??? =x haha don't know la ... at 1st meet u, really don't know what to say so keep blabbering nonsense, sorry hhahaha ... get used to it =p

feeling very tired ... tmr's a holiday for many but not me, cause i chose to retake chinese =( why didn't i prepare mentally that time and get an "a1" ... waste my time ... anyway, tues is holidays for us ... so maybe mon i pon school ... hahaha ...

hao la, i go sleep liao ... here i pray for everybody around me to be happy and safe ... and also wish those taking exams good luck =) *i miss you tsk tsk =p

jolynn pee pee por por*

' SHATTERED <3>
9/12/2006 09:24:00 PM

ok fine .. feeling a little down right now ... e-math paper 2 was a killer(at least to me it is). after geography paper, my peabrain was kind of drained already ... i vomitted whatever teachers taught me into that damned piece of paper ... so when i took my seat for the math paper, my cells were absent for that 2 and a half hours ...

the vectors question left blank .. cause i seriously don't know a shit about vectors ... trigo question was actually fine but i just couldn't think of the solution until the last 2-3 minutes ... damn it ... 2 opp. int. angles=1 ext. angle ... why didn't i think of that freaking property !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!! mensuration question only did last part because it was facilitated with the height given ... the other shit about the frustum which i didn't even bothered to look at ... so when i 1st flipped through that paper ... i did the first 3 questions which were rather easy ... then i did all the graph questions including the last one as i'm more confident of scoring high marks for graph ... hope that they'll help me abit ... i used the last 15mins to brainstorm for the 3 questions i skipped ... i finally got the one for trigo ... so i chiong like mad ... and mr yeo just have to announce:" time's up, put down all your pens.." *tongues out ... if we were to continue writing like what we always do during exmas, i could have finished it, but prelims was suppose to be like "o" levels so i just obeyed lor ...

i'm crying over split milk ='( mr yeo was talking to pau boon when i finished collecting the question papers and was walking towards them ... yeo yeo pointed at me and said something ... i couldn't hear so i asked him lahs ... he said:" no la, i say you very auto, very guai, but just a little too ugly .. " GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this teacher of mine has never praised me totally ... the other time he said i was the 1st one to think of that solution in the class ... so he said: smart ah ... but i bet u will fail this paper haha .." but it's ok ... used to it ... haha ... treat it as a motivation trigger ...

after exams, i took bus with namira and riyanti ... don't know if lorraine and eling followed ... but i got down at my house, while they headed for hougang mall ... er jie said her mum didn't wanna let her go swimming, don't want go say la =x haha ... nvm ... namira asked if i wanna go riyanti's house for a-math ... i was considering but finally decided not to go cause i had enough of maths ... i already very sad about today's paper so no mood already ... i doubt mr yeo will set a paper easy enough for us ... so study or not, the chances of failure for me is still relatively high ... now i'm just praying to get a2 for paper 2 so that my overall e-math is still a distinction ... then "o" levels no need worry so much ...

chatted abit with sq ... now maybe go study chemistry then briefly go through difficult a-maths assignments that we did and browse through the solutions ... that's it for math i guess, nothing to study ... mr yeo often give questions similar to tests so should be quite safe ...

very tired ... take a nap and hope i'll wake up on time tomorrow haha ... which eliminates the need to study now, sleep more impt =p good day guys =)))

jolynn SNORES !!!!!!!!!!!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
9/11/2006 04:37:00 PM

today didn't do much ... but recently i don't hit the hay before 3am ... i always fall asleep around 3am-6am ... hohoho ... see how i wake up when school reopens, which is damned tomorrow !!!!

woke up at 1pm, went for check-up ... doctor said i was going to die ... so me and my mum went to ang mo kio casket to buy a barbie doll coffin ... haha ... just kidding ... did that suction thingy ... damn pain and annoying ... doctor said i am to abstain from too salty, sweet, spicy whatever food ... and also seafood ...

right after the check-up, my nose was bleeding, damn it ... then me and my mum went to NTUC as i decided to be nice and cook today ... 1st two thing i bought was fish and prawns haha .. who gives a damn about what that stupid doctor says .... did such a horrible thing to my phat nose ...

went i reached home, i received a msg from NONO asking me if i'm going to northpoint ... i was wondering if i should go or not ... because he's definitely gonna cheer me up ... but in the end, i didn't cause i was cooking halfway ... and i'm half-alive ... so decided to stay home ...

long time since i've been at home for the whole day ... nice feeling =) the dishes turned out quite ok ... but i was scalded by oil a few times but minor ones la ... chatted with mum about some future family thingy haha ... she sound as if i'm getting married tomorrow ... but she's glad that i'm happy now lols ... but my nose just have to spoil everything, thanks to my poisoned lungs lols ...

nothing much ... need to do the dishes then bath ... sleeping soon ... goodnight guys ...

jolynn burps =x

' SHATTERED <3>
9/10/2006 07:18:00 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN !!! =)

ok, another friend of mine has turned 16, when is it gonna be my turn =(

today woke up at 11plus ... couldn't get outta bed ... was feeling very giddy, had a throbbing headache .. probably due to overdose of medicine ??? hope not ... benny msged me, asked me out to northpoint ... so prepared and went out ... the medicine was still having effects, don't know why, panadol not digestive is it ?? lols .. very dizzy and weak the whole day ... even when i played initial d, i changed the steering strength to 1 lols ... weakling ...

reached timezone ... saw him there too ... played a few games then sat there for the whole day watched them play ... so bored ... around 7pm, we went to blk925 to eat ... ordered "tian ji zhou" share with ming kang ... i stole all the "tian ji" while ming kang ate "zhou" x))) lots of laughter today ... sQ kanna bully by ming kang and benny haha ... shan't elaborate ...

when it was time to go home, i suddenly felt this spinning around me when i stood up ... felt like vomitting, everything was turning and turning ... after i alighted from 854, i took a cab instead of 72 to go home ... wanted to call my friend down to acc me back home, but i don't think it's nice to disturb people bahx .. so i went home alone, as usual ... thought of many things on the way back home ... actually i didn't lose much, i just became the old me, w/o a partner, that's all .. didn't lose much, just back to starting point ...

still having headache, but panadol doesn't work anymore ... i'll try to find an alternative medicine ba ... sleep early guys ...

jolynn stumbles ..

' SHATTERED <3>
9/08/2006 09:27:00 PM

just now me and him argued so much ... or rather, the whole of 7th sep was unhappy .. said many things to hurt each other .. been selfish, inconsiderate ... whatever ...

a couple of minutes ago, my mum yelled her heads off at me ... i saw her washing and hanging clothes till so late ... so i decided to help her out ... i took a hanger and wanted to hang the shirt up .. she said:" zhou kai la !!! bu yong la !!!"

i know i have a char very hard to like, but when i try to help, don't have to treat me this way right ... i didn't request for u to repay me or like me .. what's so wrong that i did to deserve all this ??? just as u ppl may say, i'm blunt with words and i do things my way ... i never admit my mistakes ... fine, i agree ... most of the time i'm that stubborn .. but when i try to treat ppl well, they still reject me ... i'm condemned, boycotted and hated ...

my soul is dispersing ... my heart couldn't hurt any deeper ... i'm suicidal, if u love me, kill me in behalf of myself ... i'm sick and tired of everything ... i hate myself just like how much people out there may hate me ...

jolynn should seriously fuck off
* the misunderstood darkness

' SHATTERED <3>
9/08/2006 12:01:00 AM

IT'S 1.06PM NOW AND I HAVE YET TO BRUSH MY UGLY RABBIT TEETH ... I'M SITTING SITTING IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER TYPING AWAY ...

FUNNY HUH ??? THE 1ST THING THAT COMES TO MY MIND WHEN I WAKE UP IS TO ON MY COMPUTER, NOT TO WASH-UP WAHAHAHA ... WHAT I DIRTY GIRL AM I ...

ANYONE'S GONNA PAGE ME FOR AN OUTING ??? I'M BORED =( DROP ME A LINE !!! MY NUMBER'S 81262645, CALL AND SAY "HI" !!!!

WAHAHAH ... SOUNDS LIKE I CAN USE IT AS MY NEW SLOGAN .. RHYMES WITH MY NUMBER =)

THAT'S ALL ... OFF TO HOUGANG MALL TO SEE WHO I CAN SCREW UP X))))

AND TO THAT SOMEONE: BETTER STOP YOUR STORIES AND NONSENSE ... I HAD ENOUGH OF IT ...

JOLYNN STORMS OUT *THUNDER CRASHES

' SHATTERED <3>
9/07/2006 01:12:00 PM

i have to tell mr *toot* "WHATEVER" ..

i'm being so damned unreasonable and giving up hopes now is because of what you did last time ... you made the bad things lasted so long that i can't find any way to treat you nicer now ... so i see ... you expect me to talk to you nicely huh ??

you know why i immediately shoot you off ??? cause i knew you are still so indecisive .. if i were to talk and explain so nicely, you will take even longer to understand what i'm trying to say ... and you will end up telling me:" i will change ya, i'll still wait .." which is not what i wanna hear from you ... i threw temper at you and it still took soooo long, so guess how much times and msges i have to waste if i were to talk nicely ... blame yourself for your attitude that cause you your miseries,not me ... if u were more understanding, i need not do that ... you'll only stop your nonsense until people scream at you ... if they don't, you slowly eat them up ... sorry for phrasing it in such an ugly way, but i seriously can't stand you anymore ...

i've done my reflection ... and i told you how i felt ... but you only tell me:" don't like that say yourself, i don't mind de .." so is it MY fault again ??? wow, take care of me when i'm sick ... wanting to spend more time with me when i'm sick sounds great huh ??? maybe i initiated it, but u dare say u didn't want it ??? whatever it is ... you always like to make me sound so guilty, bitchy whatever ... make yourself sound so pathetic and exploited, then do as you deem fit ... let everybody empathise with you ... but i have to warn you ... people keep probing and asking me to patch up with you ... that's never gonna work ... say whatever you like to them, but if they irritate the hell outta me, you'll get it from me ... i dig your asses out, try me ...

i was already very nice to you in the 1st place ... but now i don't even feel like befriending you ... f*** you off ... you fool !!!!! I HATE YOU, HEAR THAT ??? u freakingly piss me off with your hypocrite manners and pass them off as not being able to express yourself properly ... you are not handicapped or what .. you merely didn't bother to make things clear because it's doesn't affect you at all !!!! when people read it, they will only say i'm heartless to you, so you don't care at all, or rather, you enjoy it ... you selfish thing ... i don't know what to say about you nor fully describe how agonised i feel know because you make me f*** up more than anything else ...

LISTEN UP, I HATE YOU FROM NOW !!!! YOU FORCED ME TO DO SO !!!

EVERYBODY, AFTER HEARING MY UGLY PIECE OF WORDS, IF YOU WANNA TELL ME "GIVE HIM A CHANCE" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, SAVE YOUR EFFORTS, I'LL SHOOT YOU OFF YOUR ASSES !!! I FEEL LIKE STRANGLING SOMEONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOLYNN BANGS THE WALL AND DIE LA !!!!!!!!!!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
9/07/2006 02:13:00 AM

7 randoms facts about ME

1) i'm register no.1 in class =(
2) i've big tummy !!! *who doesn't know
3) i don't bother to make my bed every morning
4) i never woke up before 11am during school-free days
5) i'm crazy *duh
6) i can't think of anything now *obviously
7) i love mommy *lame

7 things that scare ME

1) creepy-crawlies
2) YOU *you should know who you are
3) nightmares
4) alright i admit, ghosts ... =.=
5) heights *used to
6) fats *all over me now
7) death i guess

7 favourite songs

1) superwoman
2) gua mu xiang kan
3) ni na me ai ta
4) big big girl *i guess that's the title
5) you're not alone
6) sometimes
7) song of six pence

hehe, 7 people to do this

1) lynnette !!! =p
2) lance *oops
3) jonathan *don't burn my house
4) kailing *sorry can't think of any so put you =x
5)
6)
7)

the rest are blank cause i can't think of any as i've said ...

meet sQ, nono, benny, jonathan, wei jie, ri ming, yong hui, aiya the usual people la ... played the whole day, forgot to study =x then wei jie couldn't break any records today cause it was too difficult except for the one that he setted before i came ... benny left for swimming ... wei jie don't know go where ... then around 6plus went to blk 925 to eat ... i don't know why, but they really eat very fast can ... the time they take for 2 meals=one meal of mine ... so they were waiting and waiting and waiting >.<>

he msged me and that was where the suckiest part began ... msged nono too ... thanks for the advice, you helped me made up my mind and not be xin ruan anymore .. now i know, if you xin ruan, you'll only end up in a worse situation ... i became more level-headed and was able to think clearly ... so i guess whatever decision i make now, is what i really want ..

after explaining things that i feel i do not owe an explanation, i got fed up as i repeated myself many many times and people just have to misinterpret .. so scolded, cursed and sweared ... finally everything f***king thing's gone .. it's all over, forever ... i don't feel sad but relieved cause the pressure's gone ... i never thought i'll feel like that ... i just tolerated all the while not knowing why i did so ... now it's off my chest and i'm kinda not exactly happy but just relieved la *sorry for similar vocab ... now it's a new life .. looking towards it =)

sorry i threw temper but you should have realised that you've gone overboard ... you will only realised your mistakes when everything's on the verge of breaking down ... too bad .. former warnings given were ignored, so you have no one to blame for not giving any more chances because even the boy who cries "wolf" learns but not you ... knowing it now doesn't make u a better person ... because the way you talked just now assured me that you'll never be the one i love .. selfish, demanding, possesive, narrow-minded, whatever .. when you have nothing to defend yourself, you pull others down the water ... see how great you are ... i never knew i'll hate you the most .. when i 1st met you, i never knew that this day will come, but after the 1st month, i anticipated it ... i warned you but it's your choice to take it for granted ... anyway, my mum's happy for me too =) she's knows how much pain and pressure you put me through in case you think i'd been very happy ... i always come home wanting to cry or scold, this time though i frowned at the number of times you are getting on my nerves, but she can see that i'm much happier than before ... see the hurt you caused me ?? see how you had changed me ?? you never realise till now, do you ??? if you think you did your best, then take it as i'm the bad guy then i don't give a damn ...

mom has talked to me ... she made me realised that i'm not doing anything wrong and need not feel guilty upon hearing what he has to say ... and mom actually gave him thumbs up for being able to turn my life upside down ... she asked to not to be affected by what he's trying to make me feel and taught me to seek for what i really want and lead a happy life .. "nobody's gonna be able to force me to do what i don't want to, and i should never let anybody try to do that ... "this was what my lovely mother told me =) so i thought, if i'm not guilty, i need not care a shit, because what they are suffering now is what they brought upon themselves .. as long as i did nothing wrong, lift my head high and walk away ... "

don't let people who wants to mistreat you, trample on you ... he's not been treating you well, so why do you feel guilty ??? haha ... that's my conclusion ... if i continue being emotional, it'll bring me nowhere ... i will only end up being more unhappy ...

it's the end of us ... learn your mistake if you want to ... blame me for being stone-hearted but think of why i did so, because of your actions that forced me to be so cruel ... you pushed me to my limits and this is what you'll get, i meant what i said but you chose not to believe it ... "thanks" for all the "sweet" times that i'll never want again ... wish you all the best ... just remember, if you wanna do something, do it right away, don't wait till it's too late ...

jolynn feels like laughing

' SHATTERED <3>
9/07/2006 01:15:00 AM

wahahahaa ... got back math prelim paper 1 ...

57/80 not bad huh ?? expected a B4 or so ... last few days were stormy then windy .. i seriously don't mean the weather, it's the happenings that i can't say much about them either ...

sat had match with grp of friends ... lost 6-8 but still ok .. cause grp of friends are not just friends, they are grp of gods lols ... plus sQ and stewart helped them, even worse lols ..

sunday was bad, real bad ...

mon went to school early in the morning ... math was SOOOOOOOO boring can ... so me and guo jing decided to pon on tues haha ... met leong chun after that, saw a lot of mata !!! =x haha, too excited, take things forget pay him $$$ lols ... after went to timezone, meet jonathan, wei jie,benny and nono ... ate at KFC, then jun long and alex joined too ... wei jie was very quiet so we said that his machine running very fast, got thunderstorm in his brain, thinking what record to break later haha ... after all, he's one of the singapore's fastest ... and i somehow connected it to relative velocity wahahaha ... alex kanna shoot until he bwg lols ... actually going alex house then kor kor shouted "pang seh" so i no choice haha ... stayed with them ... kor went home to change so me, nono and wei jie went to timezone to play ... that ticket machine made us press so fast then we play alot of times thanks to me x))) then hand all very suan hahah ... saw a few record breaking moments, but end up never break haha ... sQ almost did it, jia you ba .. after that went to eat dessert with nono, kor and ri ming ... haha ... gossiped, joked and talked alot ... laugh until i full haha ... nono and benny are two big jokers, while me and ri ming laugh alot ... i do chip in some times but i not so creative to think of many funny things haha ... went home around 7plus ...

today i woke up very late ... settle that damned PUK code in my phone ... then went to sQ's house ... ka jiao him all the way ... talked about things, sort things out a little ... hoping everything's gonna be fine ... then his parents came back from msia, so i waited for him at staircase while he helped them carry things ... then went to northpoint after that ... played that game again, this time with wei jie and sQ haha ... then went to 925 with sQ to eat but he didn't eat =( he say tmr he cook for me =p make sure huh ... went home around 7, then sit at house downstairs slack ... momo papa called him, he never called for ages ... asked me to wrap present, i knew it ... won't call for nth de haha ... then met my mum around 9plus at interchange ... ran on the way, but lost to sQ =( i'm a slow runner, i know ... too fat to run hhaha ... sQ went home, i went home too =)

TADA !!! kind of "summarised" my happenings this few days =) phew long post, sorry guys haha ...

jolynn massages her aching neck

' SHATTERED <3>
9/06/2006 12:55:00 AM

what's isn't yours, will never be ...

accept fate, accept what god has planned for you ... though he might make you lose something that seems big but is in fact small, he'll definitely make it up with something which seems small but in actual fact is big .. bigger than you ever expected it to be .. jiu de bu qu, xin de bu lai ...

moodless, real moodless ... the raw wounds stabbed in my heart bleeds continuously .. esp after today, i may never wanna look back to the past ever again .. it's so painful that it may never heal, something that may rob me of my life and make me wanna die ... perhaps it's time people learn to treasure and not do things to hurt in the 1st place ... it's much better than learning how much it's hurt others only after things cannot be reversed at all ...

don't say it was you who cause all this, just look ahead, and forget that someone like me has stepped in your life once ... wipe away the footprints i left, and live your life w/o me ... promise me, you'll be happy in the future ... i wanna see you smile ...

status: bonkers anytime .. breaking down ...

' SHATTERED <3>
9/03/2006 10:55:00 PM

i may fake a million smiles,
but it's tearing deep inside me,
and on my mind, it's already dying ...
all alone under the light of the smallest star,
coping with my longing for you ..
praying that you'll be alright,
everyday and every night ...

i love you, i really do ...

i gave up this beautiful story which started a couple of months ago around the end of april, and now i'm greiving till a couple of months later ... under the block opposite my house, i recalled those memories that started from there ... the raindrops began falling on my face, as i struggled to wipe them away .. i'll never forget the smile you never failed to give whenever i was smiling too .. the sleepy face that greets me when i wake you up at your house everyday ... the gentleness of your heart that you shown everyday, the way you caress my hair before i fell asleep, always in your arms, where i feel safe and warm ... the 1st month anniversary we spent sleeping and pooling, that hand-made "lalaland" that stands at the top of your cupboard then ...

now i see you less than once a fortnight ... the model of lalaland probably chucked in some area that you'll never visit unless during spring cleaning ... what have we become now .. friends or strangers ???

i miss you, all too deep ... as i sat in silence and thought "why do i love you so much ?"

you marked the history in my life, the most glorious thing that happened in my life was to have you ... with you beside me, we seem to rule the land ... i was never afraid cause i knew deep in me that, you'll be there to protect me whenever i'm in danger ... i never felt cold and dark, because u lighted up my life ... the flame continues burning strong, till the day i reckless left you, the 9th of june ...

since then, i'd never hope for you to love me once again ... because i've let you down into everything that could not be salvage anymore ..

for the last time i would say, i love you my dear ...

you know who you are, whom created such an impact in my life ...

with love,
i say thanks

' SHATTERED <3>
9/01/2006 08:26:00 PM