When People Say Goodbye

this is for her bf personally.

oh, i made the matter big. yes of course, i have every right to clarify myself. if never pulled anyone else in ?? i just merely stated what happened, i didn't drag anyone else in.

oh yes, i said i could make her cry, not by slapping her or what. so what you said about ah-lian or something, you should wake up yourself. i didn't specify anything ?? and i don't need to hit her to make her cry. i didn't say it would scare her, so don't put words into my mouth.

i sound uncivilised ?? you read your gf's piece or words before you talk about me. i don't scold her ugly names, i used the words "farking" and "blardie" to further bring out my feelings. if "bitch" is a nice word to use, then ask everyone to scold her bitch, see if you like it. i didn't do it because i wasn't that childish.

if i was really that childish, then i would pick up a quarrel on the spot. why ?? because if i pick up a quarrel, it shows that i dare to, like what juveniles do now. and why i didn't tell her right in her face, because if she was so level-headed to listen to what we have to say, she wouldn't have made that comment alright. blame it on your gf for not clarifying with us before she just shoot us.

what excuse ?? i really let her off because she's jarrel's friend. you don't know me well enough, so don't assume. i don't give face to people i don't want to. you say this is an excuse because you haven't seen it before. if i wanted to quarrel with you on the spot, i can even if i'm really in the wrong. i can say ugly words to her, but bear in mind that i did not. only childish people will.

on a very much lighter note. you asked me not to be so sensitive. oh well i wasn't at all until your gf said those things. when she first commented that me and jarrel couldn't sit together, i already brushed that off my mind. until she started whispering to eunice, and started her black face or something. and even accusing jarrel of letting me win, when he's already sitting right opposite me. you tell me yourself la "chou ping hu" she never feed me i win what. like that also can blame ar. who more sensitive ??

i can't make anyone unhappy if she chooses not to, it's her own choice. you can choose not to get involved if you don't want to. i never forced you. you claimed that i had wild imagination, yes i agree but not in that sense. please point out whatever i said that ain't true, and tell me what is contradicting and illogical. if you can point it out, i can explain. i can tell you how i get these facts, and prove it that it's truthful. i don't have to lie at this point of time, do i ??

print whatever i blog ?? for goodness sake, don't waste paper. i always re-read things after i blog. i re-played the scenario, and everything fits in. i already edited many many times before i posted and published it. this is the nicest i can get. AND you sound like you are so right, asking me to reflect or what. who you think you are ?? jesus ??

if you really like the feeling of your gf throwing tiles and chips at you, i've got nothing to say. but that's why i call her a sore loser. and she say i blame jarrel. OH WHATEVER, does jarrel know that i was playing with him ?? he knows. and you know that she was seriously angry because you won over her in mahjong. so who's more of a sore loser ??

i said if i could prove to you next time, i didn't say i wanna play with you. i merely wanted my conscience back. and i feel that jarrel is being very badly accused here, just because he lacked slp and couldn't pay attention, your gf had to be to insensitive to say those words. you may not know what she said, but it's already stated in my blog.

i made many people unhappy, so it's my fault again. then why don't ask your gf, why she said those to make us unhappy ?? and said it so loudly. did she have any evidence that he was purposely being unfair to others ?? NO !! cause he fed the same amount to her later on, no such nonsense as being unfair cause he wasn't even alert enough to play on his own damn it. if she hadn't accused us before clarifying things, will there be all this ?? at the point of time when she said that, did she even think of how we feel to hear that ?? esp when it's not true at all ?? and she didn't even give us a chance to explain before she sets her impression ??

don't you think what she first said was more illogical ?? feed more means unfair, or because i'm his ex-gf, then that makes it unfair ?? if that is so, what can i do to my status. i was with him, and we broke up, can that be reversed to make everything fair ?? what bullshit is this ??

you two are just condemning and can never listen to other point of view or to sort it out. who's being childish, who's being illogical, answer yourself.

to end this, i will just say that this all arrive because of insensitivity on choice of words from all the parties and in long-term. i don't blame anyone for their opnion of me, cause they are free to intepret what they want.

i'm not gonna waste my time agitating myself or having anyone else to antagonise me. this is my final words regarding to this issue. believe it or not, i leave it up to you. if you still choose to condemn me, then it's your prob. because in my heart, more or less there will still be contempt. but i choose not to harp on it anymore.

it's a trival matter, i made it big, i can apologize for that. but if you can even dare to point out one of your mistakes at this time, the sky will fall because all you said are so one-sided. if you two think that i didn't do reflection, i wouldn't have admitted that i had lousy attitude and i'm a bitch or whatsoever.

i won't ask you to reflect cause i'm also at fault. but i'm relieved cause at least i don't call people bitch even though they can do all they want to spite me. that is what i call reflected piece, not the ones which you just blared off like that.

' SHATTERED <3>
3/04/2007 01:30:00 AM