apartofmoi@Blogspot.com

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Jolynn Chew Wen Yu
Ngee Ann Poly (ECH)
She loves to gossip, but when she doesn't talk, don't force her
She's trying to be nice, don't make her turn nasty
She's not someone you will deem as CHIO, but don't try to put her down
She has very low self-esteem.

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good hair days
good-looking people DUH !!!
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<3s that him who doesn't love me

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this fucking morning i was still smiling happily walking in the rain to hougang mall for facial. everything seemed so fine. slowly strolling to NTUC and then back home.

was anticipating a good day at work, so i prepared for work without needing much procastination before that. even the demanding customers didn't affect my mood, until he appeared ...............

not alone, not with friends, but his new girl friend. my heart sank at that very moment, i fought to keep back the tears and buried all my heart in working. but i just couldn't keep my fucking eyes off him. that smile, that look of happiness reappeared on his face. i took a glance at her, very pretty.

he appears every now and then before i could forget him, with a new girl. but none of them were his girlfriend. i was hoping for the same, until i saw him putting his arms around her waist while leaving the shop. that instant, was totally heart-shattering. i couldn't control anymore, can't even bear to give them a smile which other customer get, not even keeping eye contact.

shortly after they left, i ran to the kitchen and broke down. my caring colleagues tried to comfort me telling me that it was his loss. but it was me who didn't treasure him. how am i suppose to accept that ??

she is much prettier
she is slimmer
she dresses better
she eats lesser
she is gentle, i'm rough
she makes him happy, i don't
he loves her, not me ...............

she made me feel lousy, very inferior. she totally turned my world upside down. nono, it was already upside down, she shook my world and threw me into the deepest hell.

did he make any loss by leaving me ?? no. perhaps he made the right choice. i should be happy that he found someone he like, if i love him, but i don't feel happy or relieved at all !!! i don't wanna deceive myself. i'm a sore loser in love, i'm a fucker who don't know how to treasure love.

i just met him on the 23rd, i think he didn't have a girlfriend then. maybe they even share the same anniversary like i did with him ?? i don't know. i deleted his msges on accident yesterday, was that a sign that i should forget the memories ?? but i really can't.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ?? I REALLY CAN'T GIVE UP AT ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FORGET !!!

*pronounced dead

i love you, i still do, i really do, i always do.

' SHATTERED <3>
5/03/2007 10:57:00 PM