When People Say Goodbye

i wanna be ......... single. like i used to be. yes there is a difference with having a BF. it just means u have someone to hug when u go out.

actually it doesn't really make u feel fortunate when apparently u know that he doesn't really care for you. in fact, it hurts more than being single. why can't i be happy like every other girl who has a BF ??? maybe because their BF has their heart but ...... nvm ...

i'm just a normal girl who wants her boy to show care on her. give her lil surprises like coming to fetch her even though u didn't inform her, lil sweet notes or a takeaway meal. whatever thing la, is the effort that matters. something sweet that BFs will do for a girl.

but seems like it's one-sided now. even if i have the thick skin to ask people to fetch me, it will still be something like "lazy la" or "tired la". am i that not worth the effort ??? i dunno. whatever it is, i don't feel loved, or cared for.

even in chats, when he wants to go to slp, he say goodnight, and he can't wait for my reply before he signs out. but he can spend an hour reading a forum of i dunno what. i not worth his attentiveness, i'm really not. does he treat his ex or other girls like that ??? i doubt so.

maybe because i just accept everything so people take it as i don't need the love. but i fucking need it la, i'm human ok. if u don't have the heart to handle my heart carefully, don't take it in the first place.

you are putting feelings ??? you are ??? i think it's more like having fun with a girl beside you that you can look at as and when you want. i dunno what i'm blabbering about, but is this just love ???

everything's so not right. if it's like that where he cannot put in effort to make me feel blessed to have him, then i rather not have a BF. cause now, i feel more like a guy than girl.

it all boils down to one point, he doesn't have the heart for me.

i'm sad, i'm disappointed cause every time, i don't feel treasured at all. in my life, only one guy made me feel treasured but good things come to an end isn't it ???

bo xim then don't make any promises lo. commitment requires so much more than that. if u still have not settled down, or still wanna play and have no mood to take care another person, then perhaps i'm not the one you are looking for. u need a playmate, not a GF that u don't have to take responsibility of.

you broke my heart you disappointed me even before we even started. how am i gonna trust that your actions will mean something in future ???

i trust no one anymore. i'm a failure in love, AND IT SUCK !!!!!!!!

' SHATTERED <3>
8/17/2007 06:39:00 AM